Reality Tea

On last night’s Mob Wives, everyone shockingly got along.  There were no brawls, no altercations, and a relatively small amount of drama.  What’s going on, ladies?

Renee Graziano and Ramona Rizzo head to lunch, where Renee finally realizes that she needs to stop throwing a pity party for herself.  She doesn’t want Junior Pagan to have that kind of power of her after his shady dealings.  Ramona reveals that the feds obtained a search warrant for Joe’s house and have confiscated all of her jewelry from the home.  It’s over 200k worth of baubles, and Ramona is beyond upset about the hoops she will have to jump through to have it returned.

Karen Gravano is anticipating the release of Mob Daughters and she is going to have a big party, including media, red carpet, the works.  Karen is nervous about the potential questions the book could generate, but she is very excited about the venue.

Big Ang is excited about the holidays, especially for her sister Janine’s Christmas party at her massive home.  Renee is looking good and arrives ready to have fun.  Drita D’Avanzo shows up and is awe of Janine’s house.  Of course, Renee wants to get to the bottom of Carla Facciolo implying that Renee knew Junior was a rat.  Both Drita and Big Ang are defending Carla because they don’t think she meant any harm.  Renee is finally ready to listen to reason, and Big Ang is grateful.  She just wants to have a fun party!

Drita and Carla go shopping for jewelry for Carla’s niece’s sweet sixteen party.  Drita relays to Carla how crazy Renee went over hearing Carla’s comment from Karen.  Carla is so tired of how sensitive Renee is being, and she can’t believe Karen didn’t convey the context in which her statement was said.  Drita tries to play peacekeeper, but it seems like it’s going to be a lost cause.

Ramona has a meeting with Joe’s attorney.  She wants to get her jewelry back…although she doesn’t seem to care about her children’s birth certificates which were stored with the jewelry.  He tells her that her possessions are likely in a vault in Texas.  Not only are many of the pieces expensive, but they have sentimental value.  Ramona is livid.

Carla and Renee meet for coffee to hash out their differences.  Carla is beyond angry that Renee would ever believe that Carla thought that way about her.  She basically goes on off on Renee for not coming to her first.  Carla is also shocked when Renee takes responsibility for making the assumption, and all is well (for now) with their friendship.

Ramona, Karen, and Big Ang are taking belly dancing lessons.  Big Ang can’t get the moves down, and Ramona blames her massively huge breasts for her lack of balance.  Karen isn’t getting the hang of it either.   She blames her preoccupation on the fact that some of the victims are trying to boycott her book.  She is just trying to tell the story of her life.  Ramona believes it must be difficult for all parties involved.  Ya think?

Drita has a cute scene with her youngest daughter.  Her four-year-old is the week’s star student, and Drita surprises her daughter by announcing she’s going to get a puppy.  Her daughter is thrilled, but Drita isn’t too keen on naming a dog “Sparkles.”

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Reza Farahan wants us to know that not all reality TV is scripted and “steered” by the powers-that-be. (aka Ryan Seacrest).

The Shahs of Sunset star says that he and his fellow cast mates are the real deal.  And unlike some of those others famewhores on the air, you will find this gang together even when they’re not filming.  “It’s not a reality show based on characters that were brought together randomly — I had dinner with GG last night, I talk to Mike everyday, MJ and Sammy are in Coachella for a music festival together right now.”

Reza says that no story lines are contrived or forced on them.  You know, it was their own decision to gift each other with colonics and film it for the world to see (and be traumatized by).  “Ryan would call, email, text, check in but it was just to make sure we were happy, make sure we were OK, make sure that whatever feedback, whether positive or negative that we were OK with it. But it was never to steer us. There’s no steering.”

Also not fake (besides Reza’s pornstache)? The intimate details of his life.  He is committed to spreading his fabulousness to all the land and in the only way he knows how: through brutal honesty and an “all or nothing” attitude.  “You can’t have expectations of wanting to bring about change in your community if you have one foot in and one foot out…. There’s so much homophobia and it was either: not do it, or if I was going to do it, I was going to put it all out there. And that’s what I did.”

Reza is okay with putting it all out there, but he said that his cast mates have a lot of regret over things they did or said on camera, but he didn’t dish any details. Perhaps

Reza is hoping that by sharing their lives, they’ll do some good to break down some of the misunderstandings out there about Persians in general.  “We’re humanizing a group of people that have been characterized and misrepresented as terrorists. If I’m a hard-working gay man who’s proud of himself and his family supports him, I want to showcase that instead of what’s been showcased since I got to this country, which is that we’re terrorists, we all have camels in our driveways and we all own an Uzi, all of which are not true.”

Even though he’s wanting to bring some change and give viewers a new perspective on Persians, he also isn’t the spokesperson for the entire community.  “At the end of the day we’re not trying to represent anything other than ourselves. I wasn’t elected by the Persian House of Representatives to represent my people and this is not a documentary on the plight of the Persian people. This is about six fun, fabulous people living in L.A., period.”

After seeing themselves in the six season one episodes, I’m dying to see how they’ll behave in season two since some of them have regrets. Hopefully it doesn’t get boring!

[Photo credit: BravoTv]

It’s with great sadness that I announce that tonight is Sheree Whitfiled‘s last appearance on Real Housewives of Atlanta. I know, I cried too. Not because I am Sheree’s only fan (which I very well may be), but because Sheree’s arrival on the reality television scene was golden, precious, and insane. I mean, she only has my favorite intro in Housewives history: “I like things that are elegint and soffisicated, just like me!” Priceless, amirite?

As an homage to the most delusional Housewife of the whole franchise, it is without further ado that I unleash She by SheBroke: A Retrospective. Let’s recap some of Sheree’s greatest moments, shall we?

Season one we met Sheree; then full of hubris and conviction. “Budget – what’s that?;” she quipped. Insisting that soon she would be getting a whopping seven figures in a divorce settlement from ex-husband Bob Whitfield. Remember when Sheree had a personal shopper come to her mansion, which was drifting into foreclosure as she spoke, to bring her shoes? Oh, how the mighty fall.

“A big problem men have is they’re intimidated by successful women,” She by SheDelusional explained while spending her paltry divorce settlement on dresses she couldn’t afford. “I’m fashion; I’m style!;” she exclaimed. It’s so very in vogue to be broke, you know! So, of course first comes ridiculous, then comes a fashion line!

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In case your DVR wasn’t already working hard enough on Sunday nights, it’s time to add another show! The highly anticipated fourth season of Real Housewives of New Jersey premieres tonight, and Bravo has got the press machine in overdrive for its arrival. The video preview, released weeks ago, is very dramatic and shows how different this show is produced versus the other Housewives franchises, who stick to a combination of fights spliced in with fun vacation scenes. On the RHONJ universe, it’s all gloom and doom.

The show is definitely being framed as Teresa Giudice versus everyone else, so intensely, that the producers even allowed Teresa to skip the press activities required of the other women before the season airs. In an interview with HollywoodLife, Teresa insists there was a real reason, “My new book, Fabulicious!: Fast & Fit, is coming out May 15 and I need to do press for it on TV shows, but you can’t get booked for the same shows within a span of three weeks.” She adds, “I really need to go on the shows to promote my cookbook and both our RHONJ network, Bravo and the shows producers are fine with me missing the RHONJ promotions, they understand.”

I’m sure they understand; Teresa’s absence fuels the fire! And if you’re curious if Teresa makes jokes about the precious Manzo boys in her new book, she learned her lesson: “I wasn’t saying anything malicious about Caroline or anyone else in the cookbook, and I’m sincerely sorry that I offended Caroline. I really like her. I was joking in my cookbook.”

We all know if a joke doesn’t end in a punchline about Lauren Manzo‘s weight, Caroline won’t laugh. The humorless matriarch of the Manzo clan turned on Teresa in the last season and brought along her puppet/sister-in-law Jacqueline Laurita with her. Caroline tells the Huffington Post that Teresa was always Dina’s friend, “Teresa was and still is Dina’s friend. The viewers make assumptions that we were best buddies, but no, she was part of a group, an ensemble that we traveled with.”

She goes on, “But the relationship between Teresa and I was never that deep. I did respect her as human being and as a person…” That respect is now probably totally gone. HuffPo asks Caroline if her relationship with Teresa is salvageable and she gives a vague, Bravo, “watch what happens” answer:

“You can never say something’s never salvageable, but when you’re sorry you have to mean it. You have to be genuine in what you say. And if you’re not genuine in what you say then don’t waste your words… So right now, where I am, is pretty much where you saw me last, but you’ll see the story play out in the season and who knows where we’ll wind up.”

Of her relationship with Dina Manzo, from whom she is currently estranged, she is confident that they “will end” and that “Dina will be back.”

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This season of Real Housewives of Orange County has been the equivalent of friendships in a blender, as the ladies have swapped buddies, traded aliases, and gotten us all mixed up with the flavors! First, Tamra Barney and Gretchen Rossi became BFFLs, bonding over blowjob helpers and bad dye jobs. And now, Alexis Bellino and Vicki Gunvulson have apparently discovered they have much more in common than their television jobs—the Bravo one, obviously, not the newscastering one.

While it’s no stretch to see Tamretchen joined at the hip and cackling, Vicki and Alexis (Vilexis?) are quite the odd couple. But apparently, Paula Abdul was right and opposites attract.

Taking to her Bravo Blog, Alexis explains how she and Vicki went from enemies, to frienemies, to friends. “The friendship between Vicki and I wasn’t immediate. It has taken three years for Vicki and I to GROW into our friendship. Yes, Vicki said some mean things about me in the past, and yes I wasn’t always the kindest to her. However, we have both been very open about the fact that we wanted to try to make amends over three years, NOT OVERNIGHT!”

And, of course, their former best friends defecting to enemy lines had absolutely nothing to do with Vilexis’ bond. “Vicki and I were trying to make amends last year, before Tamra ever thought about scheming a friendship with Gretchen, so don’t let Tamra or Gretchen fool you that Vicki and I are only friends because those two became friends.”

“The friendship between Vicki and I is not out of convenience, nor is it contrived. Vicki and I have both said we have nothing to dislike the other person for, and we really enjoy being around each other,” Alexis adds. “Not only that, but Vicki apologized to me for everything in the past and said that if Tamra hadn’t been in her ear she would have gotten to know me and befriended me sooner.”

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Our favorite reality stars can’t get enough of the limelight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to Twitter to share even more with us.  And we love them for it!  Here’s a roundup of some of our favorite photos from the Twitterverse this week!  Enjoy!

Above: Mob Wives stars Renee Graziano and Big Ang.  Renee Tweeted: “This is what friends r for #mobwives”.

Below you’ll find Snooki, Caroline Manzo, Kim Kardashian, Teresa Giudice, Reza Farahan, Melissa Gorga and more!

[Photo credit: Renee’s Twitter]

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Must everything about Basketball Wives be messy?  And must twitter usually be the cause?  After introducing her love, Dezmon Briscoe, on Monday night’s episode, all hell broke loose in Twitterverse for Royce Reed.  After Dezmon’s baby mama, Christina Nero, tweeted, “I swear I almost threw up watching bbw fake a$s relationship” and revealed that Dezmon had been sending her “freaky texts,” Royce was adamant she was a liar.  What a difference a few days make!

In the midst of the drama, Dezmon tweeted, “baby mama wanna be messy so I’ll clean it up. I sent the messages she posted …To be on her good side because she has my son.”  Fair enough, right?  He later apologized to his beloved in the intimate and sincere way possible…again via Twitter.  “I could of handled the situation better,” he tweets. “I’m still wrong and I wanna apologize to @Roycelr because she don’t deserve that. Love you.”  Awww…

While Royce is no doubt humiliated, she tweeted, “I was lied 2 and stood by it.  Gonna take a lot more than THAT 4 forgiveness…My heart is broken….y the hell send it just 2 appease sum1″  She makes a very valid point, no?

Even in her VH1 blog, Royce is truly mad…but is it directed at the correct person?  She has posted pictures of her and Dezmon in happier times and posts an open letter to his baby mama.  Yikes!   She writes:

“At the end of the day” (Jen voice) he will not be with her. So the rant she went on and my responses change nothing for her life. Not only do I look like a fool in love, but she looks like a bitter, jealous and angry “Baby Momma.” That’s worse. Fact is, they were never an item. They were never a couple. But for just under a year, she has been angry that he has been with me…I’m sure she wonders why she was never “the one” to marry but just “the one” to do before he met me.

Surely she has some equally harsh words for the dude who actually started this, right?  Well, maybe “harsh” isn’t the right word.  I realize that relationships are complicated, and no one really knows the full story, but Royce has an admitted history of blurred vision when it comes to men.  Is history repeating itself?  She continues:

Do I think Dezmon loves me? Yes! Do I think what he did was wrong? Absolutely. Are we done…forever? Honestly, I don’t know. Readers can say I’m dumb if I go back, but with relationships come mistakes. I was lied to and lesson learned…I entertained it on Twitter. I let the drama get to me despite being told to ignore it. That was my immaturity in this experience coming out. I admit that. Yes, I’m embarrassed, humiliated and broken. But I’m strong. Regardless of what happens I will be okay. Do I love him? Yes. Is that enough to stay? At this point, no.

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If I have learned anything from this site, it’s that Bethenny Frankel elicits very strong emotions from people.  You either love her or you hate her…or you’re some strange, atypical weirdo who is totally indifferent to her.  I fall into that last category.  She makes a mean margarita though, and I’d kill for her wardrobe (most of the time).

The Bravo star recently sat down with Self to give tips on everything under the sun.  Seriously.  She talks about sex, yoga, acid washed jeans (don’t wear ‘em!), and being rude to Clinique saleswomen the importance of having your make-up professionally done.  Of course, given that it’s a women’s health magazine, she also shares her healthy habits and dishes on her perceived marital breakdown.

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