Reality Tea

farrah-abraham-the-doctors

Dear Farrah Abraham

I'm not judging you for being any other kind of hoe except for the famehoe kind. Please and kindly seek help for your addiction to attention and we'll forget about all the other unsavory antics you've pulled.

Love, Mary

That's not gonna happen right? Anyway, Farrah has gone from Teen Mom reject, star of a now defunct reality show, to sexytimes maven who considers herself something of an expert. She recently appeared on The Doctors to talk about her sex toy line modeled off her lady parts, sex tapes, and how her new business ventures will affect Sophia's childhood. 

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Paris Hilton River Viiperi

Paris Hilton is back!  Well, sort of. 

The former reality TV queen has been off the radar for far too long as she hides out doing rich girl things and learns to DJ and works on new music.  Paris collaborated with Lil Wayne on her newest single "Good Time" and just released the music video for it. 

If there's anyone who can ease my Kardashian suffering, it's Paris.  Oh I've missed her so (and never thought I'd utter those words!).  And I mean that.  Paris was a permanent fixture on the paparazzi radar and in the media, but nowadays she's barely seen anymore.  She just pops up here and there at events and has continued on with her life..doing her thing and never taking herself super seriously.  Unlike those certain other reality starlets who just don't give us a minute of rest before the next story, photo, or famewhore move pops up online. Kudos to Paris for knowing when to step back.

Hmm..how long has it been since Paris and Nicole Richie graced our screen? (God how I wanted that pink truck!)  I vote for a Simple Life reunion special of sorts.  Just for old times' sake.

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melissa-gorga-the-buzz

Melissa Gorga's new modus operandi seems to be a different day, a different recollection, a different excuse! Recently her book Love Italian Style came under fire for promoting some not so fabulous advice.

The Real Housewives of New Jersey at first defended her book saying that what works for her marriage may not work for everyone. But now, of course, she's changing her autotune.

Melissa sat down with Vh1's The Buzz to discuss the show and her latest attempt to get attention book;claiming she wanted "controversy" to get people talking about the book. Likening herself to Miley Cyrus, Melissa brags, "She wanted controversy, her plan worked!"  So, is that stuff what Melissa actually does in her marriage or she just wanted to sell books? Just. stop. tawking. 

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luann-de-lesseps-jill-zarin

That's hot cool. I don't even know what I'm allowed to say anymore. With all these celebrities reality stars trademarking things left and right.  Now, the Real Housewives of New York are jumping on the bandwagon.

Ramona Singer, LuAnn deLesseps, and Jill (remembah me?) Zarin have all trademarked their names, as well as some more interesting ideas. What's next? I'll have to drop a dollar in the tip jar every time I type out Pinot Singer? Will I actually have to spend money to buy class?

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adriana de moura

Last night on The Real Housewives of Miami, Adriana de Moura turned off her co-stars by sending out her wedding invitations via email.  And not just any old E-vite…one with detailed instructions on what to wear, what not to wear and an inspiration board to get them started! 

Adriana took to her Bravo blog to defend her wedding decisions, "Welcome to the 21st century! Yes, I had an Evite for my wedding, because we all live on our computers, tablets, smart phones, etc. Who needs a printed invite when nobody cares about that anymore? Besides we need to save trees and think of our impact on the environment as well."  Fellow Real Housewife NeNe Leakes apparently agrees with her, as she did the same thing.

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catherine-giudici-sean-lowe

Sean Lowe and Catherine Giudici continue to beat the Bachelor odds. 

Still together, the engaged couple has settled into a "normal" life in Dallas now that the reality TV offers have dried up.  Sean and Catherine are hoping one more offer will roll in though – a free televised wedding of course!

"We've always said our relationship started on TV, so we may as well solidify it on TV," said Sean. "Hopefully we'll have a date sometime soon." 

Sean continued,  "A free wedding is always a good thing.  You can create the wedding of your dream – all her dreams – then you don't have to sit back and worry about the budget and freak out about stuff like that."

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rhom-recap-marysol-lea

Last night on Real Housewives of Miami silicone hit the fan between Marysol Patton and Lea Black. That old storyline again! This time the ladies were arguing over whether or not Lea ignored Mama Elsa while she was in the hospital. 

Joanna Krupa and Romain finally had a breakthrough in their relationship. Adriana de Moura continued to be insane by insisting her wedding guests dress pure and innocent as angels, newborn fawns, and daisies at her sham re-wedding, which is anything but fresh as the first snow. 

Joanna has Lisa Hochstein over for dinner. Joanna doesn't cook or use dishes so she serves sushi and soup out of the restaurant takeout boxes. I was getting the BPA heebie-jeebies watching them drink miso out of the big plastic cartons. The food doesn't really matter since the wine is the main course. 

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bbw tami shaunie

Last night's Basketball Wives was purely the set-up for whatever insanity is set to occur in London thanks to Shaunie O'Neal's master planning.  Evelyn Lozada has quit crying and is now excited to sit back and watch someone else design her clothing line.  Suzie Ketcham is still on a high from smacking the beret off of Tasha Marbury, and Tami Roman launches her nail polish sans Big Diva.

Suzie reveals to real Tami that she took Lil' Tami with her to confront Tasha.  The women find it very fishy that Tasha referred to the women as "angry birds" even though she claimed to not have anything to do with the blog stories.  Even after flipping Tasha's hat off of her head, the women decide that it's Suzie who is owed an apology first. Tami always has the little guy's back. She is such a champion for the underdog!

Evelyn has a meeting for her clothing line Vida Lux. It's like loungewear meets the wardrobe department of Kids, Incorporated (you know, back when Fergalicious was just plain ol' Stacey). She's waxing on about patterns and colors and the gap that big bootys create in the waistband of some jeans. Evelyn wants to think international. Her maxi dresses plan to take over the world!  Later Suzie calls Evelyn so that she can continue to relive the swat-fest with Tasha.

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