On last night's episode of Teen Mom 2, relationships were put to the test and bacon caused a marital breakdown.
Leah Calvert has made nagging and whining a full-time job. Usually I like Leah – aside from that mop of crazy she insists is hair (we don't believe you, member of the Dolly Pardon Wig Club!) – but last night she was working my last nerve. Look girl from WV, you can't have you pepperoni roll and eat it too!
Five minutes after the twins go to Corey Simms' for his weekend, Jeremy surprises Leah by letting her know he's headed to PA to work for a couple weeks. Leah is not happy. She tells Corey his job makes her feel like a single mother and that while he's gone she gets really overwhelmed. She's also frustrated that he doesn't validate her feelings by listening to an extended whiny-fest about how haaaaard lyyyyyyfe eees when he's gone. She thinks they should go to counseling to strengthen their marriage, but Jeremy is against it. He ain't payin' nobody his hard-earned money to tell him what's wrong with him.
After opining about her shopping trip to Crystals 'R Us to stock up calming objects to combat the negativity of the reunion (all of the women should have followed her lead!), Carlton begins her Bravo blog, "Let's face it, I think I have said all I have had to say this whole bloody season. Nothing held back. I really don't want to repeat it again. Honestly I have no regrets. I've said everything that was on my mind. Made it abundantly clear who I like and who are trolls that belong under a bridge. I wished deep in my heart that you had truly gotten an enlightened view about my faith and beliefs, without the dumb background music. Introduced you properly to my incredible husband and family on the level that I deal with everyday, my beautiful and talented girlfriends who I love and only want the very f—ing best for, and my gorgeous nanny who I trust the lives with all of our three children."
Aviva invites Carole to lunch to discuss books, which really become a war of the words and over words and who wrote them. Aviva started out as a fangirl who took her obsession a little too far. She's currently boiling Carole's bunny slipper in a pot of water to make pasta. For some reason Aviva has an obsession with Carole eating pasta.
Aviva whips out a pair of glasses and says she SWF'd Carole's look. I think she was making a joke. Carole thinks she was making a threat – to both her sense of style and her livelihood. "Imitation is not the sincerest form of flattery. Flattery is the sincerest form of flattery," Carole corrects. Aviva did not get the memo. For a "writer" she has trouble reading between the lines. Maybe Carole should have used a ghostwriter?
Don't talk smack about Khloe Kardashian on Twitter unless you're prepared for an all out tweet battle! The outspoken reality star has never been shy about speaking her mind in one hundred and sixty characters or less, but who needs long multi-tweet diatribes when she can just drop the f-bomb?
This time around, Khloe is hashing it out (hashtagging it out??) with the producer of an Australian morning show who is claiming that the Keeping up with the Kardashians star abruptly peaced out of a telephone interview after being asked about sister Kim'sdaughter with Kanye West. Seeing as Khloe seems to love gushing about niece North West, I kind of believe Khloe's version of events…
How much longer do we have to deal with Abby Lee Miller's crazy mean attitude on Dance Moms? Last night, Melissa got the rare taste of how it feels to have a daughter compete in Maddie's shadow, and she didn't play off her frustration well. At all. It was slightly fun to watch! Finally!
Abby calls her girls together to praise them for their win against Cathy's Candy Apples. Fallon has been given the boot for not remembering her routine, although Abby hasn't totally counted her out as a replacement for one of these losers dancers. During the pyramid, MacKenzie is on the bottom for not attending last week's competition. Funny…Maddie didn't attend a competition, and I believe she ended up third on the pyramid. MacKenzie is followed by Nia for over the top, yet improper facial expressions during the group dance. Payton is back on the pyramid and third from the bottom. Abby rails on how the sixteen-year-old acts like a baby, reminding her that MacKenzie is the baby on the team. Payton runs out of the studio in tears yet again. When Abby follows, Payton sobs that she dances because she love Abby and the studio so, so, so much. Abby softens…kind of.
His name is Dhar Mann. Hedescribes himself as an entrepreneur with eyes on the prize and loves to show off his jet set life. Dhar is the founder of a real estate company, a luxury car rental company, and a store that sells supplies for the cultivation of medical marijuana. Cha-Ching!
Since early February Lilly and Dhar have traveled to New York City, Paris, San Francisco, and Singapore. The lovebirds are currently in the Maldive Islands. Lilly and Dhar have shared pictures every step of the way. Yes, there's a ton of kissy face shots, but the travel porn makes it worth it. Trust.
Rumor-mill alert! Rumor that I don't believe for a minute, mind you, but it's still amusing as hell!
Aviva Drescher is clearly this season's pariah. Add that to her totally cuckoo bird personality and you've got a match made for the loony bin. Which is exactly how crazy she seems to be driving her Real Housewives of New York co-stars!
Aviva called in to The Gossip Table where she dished on tonight's drama between herself and Carole Radziwill, both of whom have competing books hitting the market at the same time. She also issued her predictions for how this season is gonna end – and just how exactly her leg flies off in the finale. Apparently Aviva took the leg off herself. Or maybe it just could no longer stand her and made a run for it!