Okay, if I didn't already know that Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta was scripted, I think Kirk Frost's mountain weekend last night would have been a dead giveaway. Seriously? The dude has a pregnant wife and he has cameras following his every move. I hope both he AND Rasheeda are laughing their way to the bank with that VH1 storyline! Let's get started, shall we?
Kirk heads to Benzino's to vent about his pregnant wife making a video with HIS money from THEIR joint account. Benzino thinks that his friend is starting to wage a battle on his wife, and he hates seeing a "power couple" like the Frosts crumbling. He thinks his friend needs to get away from the city and the strip clubs and head to the lake. Kirk will be able to clear his head, and hopefully Benzino will forget he can't find love in the ATL.
I'm going to go ahead and apologize in advance for this blog post because I know I'm going to offend people with my bluntness and stupidity…even people who roll their eyes at the mention of all things Kim Kardashian, Kanye West, little KompassNorth, and the child that is most certainly NOT America's Baby.
First things first…a quick disclaimer: just because I doubt that Kim and the tiny rapper's newborn has yet to sit up, say her first word, moonwalk, or buy her first pair of Manolos does not mean that I am in any way making fun of the baby's development. That said, the founder of the Pussycat Dolls is claiming the child is already giggling up a storm. False. Not false because I am snarky and Kim irks me, but false because I took more than my share of child development classes. I don't doubt that gas is making North make some super precious faces, but she's not actually laughing.
This week, Amanda Bertoncini and Joey Lauren hawk their "ticket to easy street" inventions, the Drink Hanky and Kissamint, and Ashlee White thinks she's adorable when she drops $5300 of her daddy's money on high heels.
I know I'm supposed to have pity for reality TV stars for the stressful lives they live – and the chaos of having their every moment captured on camera. All the flaws, and bad behavior, and embarrassing moments, and fights, and crappy relationships, and friendships gone awry. Yeah, I should probably feel bad for them. But I don't! I'm callous that way.
Proving that Poison thinks for himself and doesn't let Melissa carry his balls around in any kinda rented or faux Chanel, she cites him calling her out on last night's episode. Isn't that nice!
"If I hear the phrase 'pu— whipped' one more time, I’m going to have to break something," Melissa fumes. "A whipped man would never call out his wife if he thought she did something wrong. Joe wasn’t happy about my Chanel bag tweet. Meanwhile, anyone who says he never sticks up for his sister should be eating their words right now."
In the latest, the former Teen Mom star who has risen in the ranks of tabloid fame thanks to a certain sex tape, has announced that she is checking into an outpatient rehab for alcohol abuse. Farrah, who is the "epitome of perfection," recently pled guilty to a DUI and is now hoping to "focus on her sobriety."
Farrah will spend 10 days of intensive counseling at The Lukens Institute in Palm Beach Gardens, Fl. Farrah sees seeking treatment at the luxury facility as a "preemptive step" to help her better manage her alcohol use. As part of the $12,000 outpatient care, Farrah will be able to go about her daily life but will be monitored by a sober companion. Farrah's dad will be caring for Sophia while she is getting help.
Jenelle was charged with simple assault, possession of drug paraphernalia, simple possession of a prescription painkiller, and possession of heroin with intent to manufacture, sell, and distribute, specifically, and she was scheduled to appear in court today to face the drug related charges.
Did you catch that? Jenelle WAS scheduled to appear today. WAS.
Last night on Real Housewives of New Jersey some tepid family bonds were forged while others remained more fractured than a crackle manicure. Oh deja Jersey – coming back to haunt us like bad ju-ju!
Things begin with the aftermath of Joe Gorga's gym baptism by fire. Poison is driving home talking to himself, mumbling "bitch" and other little rude names. The voices in his head really shouldn't be so hard on him. He's only a man, after all. A flawed one, but still only a man with a penchant for weight lifting, Tarzan-ing, and embarrassing himself.
He stomps into the house where a perfectly made up Melissa Gorga is relaxing on her bed begging daughter Antonia to "write" her book for her. Melissa tells Antonia about including stories about her own dad in the book. Melissa is running the including her dad thing by everyone as if she really cares about anyone's opinion. Girl is going to include all her dad's dirrry secrets because it sells books and there is no point to writing a book if it isn't to sell it!
Melissa says she doesn't want her daughter to see the type of family life she had and right on cue here comes Poison grunting and talking himself down from jumping off the faux-marble roof as he barges in to let Melissa know that Teresa Giudice was ranting about fake Chanel on Twitter or something.