Really? Really? I think I just had a horrible nightmare. Oh it was so bad. There were tone-deaf desperate middle aged women twirling around in too tight clothes, screaming about their butts and security and sperm donors and Gone With The Wind. They were looking for a broken pageant crown. And worst of all… THEY WERE SINGING! They swore people thought they were Beyoncé. More like Beyon-fake.
Then I woke up and realized I was just watching Watch What Happens Live where it was announced that Kenya Moore is releasing a song based on the catchphrase she thinks is going to happen. Yes, below you can listen to the Gone With The Wind Fabulous audio. It sounds like an 80's workout video and the Real Housewives of Atlanta star was erroneously mislead into believing her "rap" is cute.
Shain Gandeeis most definitely the breakout star ofBUCKWILD. MTV describes Shain as "a trash collector … and quite possibly inebriated at any given moment, refers to himself as Gandee Candy, and every time he speaks, you need subtitles to understand him. Needless to say, he's amazing."
Yes, Shain is amazing in a tire rollin', muddin' kind of way, but apparently he's no longer a trash collector. Rumor has it that Shain lost his sanitation job well before BUCKWILD began filming last spring. According to the Charleston Daily Mail, Shain was let go in November 2011 for "violating the personnel policy."
Color me confused because Shain is seen throwing trash bags into a South Charleston trash truck on the BUCKWILD series premiere. Why the lie?
According to TMZ, Britney is leaving The X Factor to focus on her music. Britney is currently working on a new album with Will.i.am, Jay-Z, and Kanye West's producer Hit-Boy. It sounds like she hopes to go on tour, as well, once the album is finished.
Last week on Top Chef, Micah Fields won the sexy knife quickfire challenge and Kristen Kish won the memorable moments elimination challenge. In a cook-off with Lizzie Binder, John Tesar (and his eye glasses) fell victim to the curse of the risotto and was eliminated. Ouch! Being eliminated over Lizzie, who knowingly cooked and served questionable scallops, had to be embarrassing.
While Josh Valentine (and his twisty mustache) is glad John is gone, Stefan Richter (and his wrinkle-free face) misses his "morning friend." Josie Malave declares she didn't come back as a stupid chef. True. She came back as an annoying chef.
The challenge: create a dish highlighting ginger… sponsored by Canada Dry Ginger Ale… in only fifteen minutes. Ginger Ale. It's what pays the bills.
15 minutes? Wolfgang Puck? The pressure is on! Lizzie makes a split-second decision and grabs watermelon. Brooke loves ginger and pairs it with squid. Stefan disses Sheldon's stir fry dish, calling it too pedestrian and Chinese restaurant, and Sheldon yells "mother f-ker" at his meat.
There are days when I really, really love my job. This is one of those days. When I get a little gem like this to write about, it just makes me so happy. MTV's Teen Moms provide us with massive amounts of entertainment, and Farrah Abraham is no exception. She whines…a lot. She fights with her mother. She waxes her toddler's unibrow for goodness sake! Now, Farrah is channeling her inner E.L. James. That's write right! Girlfriend wants to pen some porn.
Of course, before Farrah can focus on becoming the next best selling phenomenon, she has some legal woes to settle. After her Twitter account was hacked in December, Farrah has alleged that an ex-boyfriend is to blame, and she wants him punished. Let's start with that. We'll save the best for last.
Lilly Ghalichi has been, ummm… interesting, shall we say. And apparently she has a doublemint twin of her own who she slings Have Faith Swimgerie with. Seriously.
Lilly's BFF and business partner Jennifer Stano is dishing on why she isn't making an appearance on Shahs of Sunset and gives a little insider dirt on the world of competing reality shows. Maybe they need to start doing their own Olympics.
Jennifer was recently featured on the extremely highbrow TLC show "Secrets Of A Trophy Wife," because guess what – she is one! Go figure. I'm so sad I missed that riveting experience of watching this. #sarcasm.
Let's digest Jennifer's story as told on her personal blog below.
"Many of you have been asking me if they will be seeing me on Shahs with Lilly and if Lilly will be on the TLC special Trophy Wife. The answer is unfortunately no, and heres why. At the beginning of the year I was interviewed for Housewives of Beverly Hills [Real Housewives of Beverly Hills], made it to the network but was told I was too young for the already established cast, and I completely agree." I think "too young" was a nice way of saying too ridiculous and vapid. Just me? And because they knew classy Lisa Vanderpump and Yolanda Foster wouldn't touch her cheap weave and bad implants with a ten foot stemmed champagne glass. She seems like a better fit for RHONJ anyway!
Y'all realize that, no matter what, the Kardashians aren't going anywhere any time soon. That said, don't shoot the messenger! Actually, today's Kardashian trash is at least humorous enough to provide some sort of entertainment.
Here's a quick breakdown: Kim Kardashian doesn't want to still be married to Kris Humphries when she gives birth (but there is quite a catch!), and Kim and Kanye West maintain that Kimye, Jr. will not be a part of E!'s fall line-up. Again, I'll believe that when I see it! Finally, the youngKendall Jennerdoesn't want to follow in her family's famewhoring footsteps. Sure.
Mimi Faust and Stevie J's relationship has been up and down, up and down. The Love & Hip Hop Atlanta stars seemed to have things all worked out, but according to a new interview Mimi reveals they are officially dunzo and struggling to co-parent, but unfortunately Joseline's influence is causing major tension!
"We have not been back together but we do have a 3 year old that we do have to co-parent," Mimi shares with BallerAlert.com. "We do have to do some kind of business together."
Mimi adds that they are "absolutely not" living together and haven't been since July. "I ended up staying at his house because of the baby a few months ago but we still weren't together." Mimi reveals they decided to co-habitate because of childcare. "I moved in because his sister was the nanny. I was traveling and working and his sister was there to watch Eva. It was convenient for when I had to just get up and go, she was right there with the baby."