Last night on Real Housewives of New York one special housewife had a resurgence of adolescence when all she talked about was me, me, me, mememememememmememememe! Yep – one whole long hour of Aviva Drescher, her phobias, the horrible St. Barths psycation, and her problems with Tweedle Drunk and Tweedle Cum. Luckily Heather Thomson was there to speak for the masses, be the voice of reason, and finally suggest that she maybe just LET. IT. GO.
Things begin with a dinner party in a lovely UES apartment. Attending the party are siamese twins Pinot Singer and Sonja Morgan and their frienemy LuAnn de Lesseps. Apparently all three ladies share a mutual friend who is probably looking for camera time because she's selling her apartment, her recipes, her interior design business, her dignity, her husband, whatever…
LuAnn lets us know things have been strained with Jacques since she told him about the incidents in St. Barths, mainly pertaining to a late-night episode in piratry, so she's been giving him extra reassurance that she cares.
Old coaches are out and new coaches are in on The Voice… and we didn't have to endure months of speculation surrounding possible new coaches? Not even a single, "How about Charlie Sheen?" plea for attention! WOW.
We turn around our chairs and give The Voice a standing ovation.
It's true. Just like that, sources say the The Voice has secured Usher and Shakira as coaches for next season's spring cycle. They will step in for Cee Lo Greenand Christina Aguilera, who both need a break from the hit show to pursue other projects.
Last night's Basketball Wives L.A. resumed with Jackie Christie crashing Gloria Govan's tasting party at Malaysia Pargo's request. As none of the other women had seen Jackie since the reunion (presumably), they were waiting with baited breath for an apology or an explanation…heck, even just a sentence at this point! Draya Michele is shocked when Jackie just fixes a plate, grabs a cocktail, and sits down silently at the table. The queen has arrived!
Malaysia makes a toast to explain Jackie's attendance, and both Gloria and Laura Govan have some catty things to get off of their chests. Jackie is trying to maintain her cool as her buttons are being pushed left and right. Draya says that Jackie is going to work very hard to regain any kind of trust. Poor newbie Brooke Bailey just introduces herself. Jackie begins her apology about being defensive, but Draya and Laura think she is totally lacking sincerity. I'd have to agree.
So, the Real Housewives of Miami are back, and this season they have apparently been informed that they are actually part of the housewives franchise and not some random reality show that is formatted around cooking parties. Baby steps.
While four new women join the fray, the "veterans" are out numbered…unless you count Mama Elsa twice, and, let's face it, she is so awesome she deserves the extra credit. Her daughter, Marysol Patton, appears to maintain her status as the voice of reason, although sadly she's missing one hot, foreign, much younger husband. What a difference a year makes! However, regardless of what is going on in Marysol's personal life, she still seems to have a stable head on her shoulders. It's a wonder she was even chosen by Bravo given her propensity to avoid drama. Who am I kidding? She totally got this gig because Andy Cohen wanted Elsa. End of story.
We're not holding our breath, since she's been changing her story for months now. These "sources" tell Us Weekly, "Alexis was really tired of being bullied and chose home and family life over celebrity. She wanted to go back to her simple life in Orange County."
Bless your heart, American Idol. Bless it. In the wake of much more original and exciting talent reality shows, AI is desperately trying to stayremain once again become relevant. After unveiling the new judges, tabloids immediately began speculating about a giant feud brewing between the original diva Mariah Carey and raspy rapper extraordinaire Nicki Minaj. Here's what I know to be true: Starships were meant to fly, Glitter will always be a horrible movie, and such obvious PR stunts can be spotted from a mile away.
I mean, yes, if you told me that Mariah Carey would be totally horrid to work with and she has a need to always be the HBIC (head b*tch in charge, duh), I would totally believe you. If you also informed me that Nicki Minaj had an ego the size of her booty and annoyed everyone in her path, I certainly wouldn't call you a liar. However, the whole situation is just too perfect. The show needs publicity. Shoving Keith Urban in America's face wasn't enough to create a giant buzz, so let's say these two talented, strong-willed, and notoriously diva-licious ladies can't stand one another. Nice try.
As a lover of fashion, bad television, and all things post-Simple Life Nicole Richie, you would think I'd be all over NBC's Fashion Star. However, I am not. I just couldn't get into it to save my life…and this is coming from someone who plans to dress as Austin Scarlett from Project Runway for Halloween this year. To be fair, there are only so many hours in a day, so much space on my DVR, and, in addition to ridiculous amount of reality television I watch both for blogging and pleasure (it's fab too when those overlap!), I am also addicted Law and Order: SVU, HIMYM, and Happy Endings. It's A LOT of television.
I'm going to give it another chance though this season, and here's why: Elle Macpherson, the show's creator and former host has chosen Louise Roe to replace her, and I think it's an interesting change-up for the series. Not that I don't like Elle (she had a great work-out video back in the late '90s), but she's just not made for hosting. Sure, she's drop-dead gorgeous, but did you see her on Friends? It's like watching paint dry. Louise Roe has the fashion knowledge AND the hosting chops…not to mention she's just obscure enough to be intriguing.
Who am I kidding? Jessica Simpson is still on the show, and she hasn't been relevant since she divorced Nick Lachey. I doubt I need to point out what a sad state of affairs it is when an ex-boy bander from a boy band on the fringe of legitimate boy bands makes one relevant, but I digress. How did Fashion Star even get picked up for a sophomore season?