The newbies are invading Dance Moms and Abby Lee Miller couldn't be more excited. Melissa is homeschooling both Maddie and MacKenzie so they can have more time to dance. Why are they wearing full make-up? Both Maddie and MacKenzie are happy. Melissa is happy. Most importantly, Abby is thrilled, and really, that's all that matters to Melissa, right? Jill is trying to decide if homeschooling would be right for Kendall so she can step up her game.
Abby calls her girls together and congratulates them for beating Kathy's Candy Apples, and then she quickly reminds them that she kept enough recruits from her Orlando open-call to replace the entire team…even Maddie. Melissa wasn't expecting that bombshell! Abby is excited to scope out the talent in Atlanta. Holly volunteers her services as a former school recruiter to help with the trip…and spy. Melissa then offers up her daughters and herself to sell Abby's merchandise at the auditions. I'm surprised she's able to speak with her face shoved so far up…well, you know.
Brandi begins, "I broke my hand on a Thursday. I had my friend who is a MMA fighter and boxer wrap it for me and was happy to go to Carlton's party on Sunday. I did not go to the doctor for a few reasons. First, I barely had any time to — and second I didn't have medical insurance at the time. I had been trying for the last year to get medical coverage, but had been turned down because of a pre-existing condition. I have two little boys to take care of and I didn't want to waste my money on myself and have yet another reason to be turned down for insurance," adding, "I now have medical insurance, and, yes, my hand did heal a little deformed. My best friend drove up from San Diego, thank goodness, because with my right hand broken I couldn't really do my hair or makeup, and so I got a helping hand from my girls."
While neither Vicki or Donn has to pay the other spousal support (although it could be requested if one has a significant change in income), they are both leaving their marriage with some pretty padded pockets. Houses and cars and 401Ks, oh my!
Angela is speaking out about Apollo's arrest and shares that she's looking for a media outlet to share some more of her insight into the matter. She writes, "In 2012, I released my personal memoir, Lies of a Real Housewife: Tell the Truth and Shame the Devil. In the book, I detailed the struggles I faced as a young woman drawn to the temptations of crime and the false glamour it affords. I alone am responsible for the mistakes I made as a young woman. Yet, I have felt a certain sense of anger toward the people who used me during that period of my life. Certain individuals found me at a time when I was vulnerable and searching for friendship, and used those traits to lure me into doing their bidding."
Last night Yolanda appeared on WWHL live to discuss Real Housewives of Beverly Hills and naturally she was questioned regarding her often hypocritical attitude about Brandi and the true nature of their rather odd friendship. Friendship, it turns out, is a term should be used loosely to describe where they stand!
When asked about her attitude towards Brandi's drinking Yolanda admitted, "I can't stand it! I hate it – and I tell her all the time, but like I say, 'I'm not her mother.' I don't support it."
When Andy asked if Brandi and Yolanda are still close, she shrugged. "We're close when we're shooting when we see each other everyday. Yeah… we see each other," she said noncommittally. Yikes!
Don't you love a good twist? Like a super dishy one? Well last night on Vanderpump Rules we got one!
Let's just cut to the chase – Jax Taylor admitted to banging Kristen Doute, not once – but twice! Oooooohhhhweeeee boy. And one of those bangs happened whileTom 1 (as in Kristen's boyfriend – the she's been freaking out over his cheating all season) was In. The. Next. Room. Say it with me now: escándalo! ES-SCAND-DAL-O!
Of course, one Stassi Schroeder, whose middle name is vendetta and whose first name is legally insane, is furious. She decides it's time to destroy Kristen's life as revenge. Isn't having the whole world know you banged Jax enough?! Apparently not! First order of business: gifting Kristen with a dildo dipped in acid to destroy her insides. Is this woman working for the Taliban yet?! North Korean dictators? I think I found her calling!
But what of Jax, you ask? What terrible fate befalls him? Well, for his honesty he is accepted into the group; folded in like a big ol' piece of cheese wrapped between two buttery warm pieces of bread. Finally – FINALLY – Jax has realized honesty really is the best policy. He gets all the attention he craves and a gold star for truth telling. Are you rolling your eyes? I so am! Apparently Jax is a dirty dog and he can't help his wandering peen, but Kristen she's supposed to be one of Stassi's revolving best friends.