Last night was the premiere of Teen Mom 2. In case you have been living in a bomb shelter where twitter does not exist, it gave you the opportunity to catch up on what's been happening with our ever responsible ladies.
Jenelle Evans is still atrocious! After marrying Courtland Rogers, getting arrested 3 zillion times, and getting bailed out 3 zillion times she's back home with mom Barbara and terrorizing their peaceful-ish domestic tranquility with her soulless vortex. Apparently we're supposed to be proud of her or something. We're not. She whines that being a teen mom is like sooo super hard – not sure how she would know since she doesn't even interact with Jace when he's sitting right in front of her.
And since the world that is Jenelle is less stable than a drunk sorority girl on a parade float, she has more news. Jenelle takes a walk with her friend to share that getting off heroin is like hard and she's also like pregnant, so she's decided to get an abortion. How many pregnancies this year? "I should have made him put on a condom," Jenelle whines. "I'm so disappointed in myself." Completely monotone insincerity.
Jenelle's mom Babs supports the abortion since she doesn't want to be raising a second grandchild that Jenelle lost track of while she pursued her intensely fulfilling relationship with twitter. Jenelle is glad Courtland is stuck in jail so she doesn't have to tell him about all of this.
Does Abby Lee Miller get meaner with each passing second on Dance Moms? Seriously Lifetime, repetitive hatefulness is getting a tad boring! I guess they throw in some Cathy and her Candy Apples for some change, much like last night, but it's so formulaic it's ridiculous!
It's time for the pyramid, and poor Payton hobbles in on crutches after her incident last week. She lands on the bottom, and Abby accuses her of hurting her ankle by fooling around in the wings, not from tripping over a chair like she claimed. When Leslie challenges Abby for calling her daughter a liar, Abby kicks her off the team. Leslie is happy to go…she doesn't want to subject her daughter to any more of this. Well, that proves Leslie isn't as crazy as I thought she was. As poor Payton shuffles out, Kendall takes her place on the bottom for being so late to the competition. A teary Kendall offers up an apology card to Abby which is quickly dismissed. Nia is third from the bottom and Abby "compliments" her for blending in and not being the subject of her ridicule. As Nia quietly thanks her, Holly wonders just what her daughter has to do to move further up the pyramid. Brooke rounds out the bottom rung for missing some choreography.
I'll be honest, I've been so consumed with Jenelle Evanspenchant for crazy for the last several months, I've hardly given any thought to the other Teen Mom 2 stars who were back gracing our televisions last night. While most of the girls' drama is a product of their immaturity, one story line continues to break my heart and isn't a manufactured plot courtesy of MTV producers.
Since Leah Messer Simms Calvert gave birth to twins Aliannah and Aleeah with Corey Simms, viewers have watched the couple struggle with Ali's developmental delays as they travel from doctor to doctor and work with in-home therapists to figure out what is wrong. Now, at four-years-old, Ali has a diagnosis, and it's not as comforting as they had hoped. However, Leah shares in a recent interview that Ali's news has brought her closer to new husband Jeremy Calvert as well as made her a better co-parent with Corey.
Kenya Moore and her massive cleavage twirled on over to Arsenio Hall's couch tonight to chat about the scandals so far this season – everything from textgate to babies and even stupid women.
Arsenio gave Kenya a chance to explain her side of the texting scandal with Apollo Nida. She shared that Apollo had no chance with her because she has no interest in any part of a married man. But Kenya made it clear that this particular married man may feel differently about cheating. "We all know his reputation around Atlanta – he likes his extra-curricular activities.."
She shared how things really went down, "After we didn't work together, because they didn't want to pay me, me and his wife (Phaedra Parks) fell out. Months later he sent me a text and it was a friendly text, but he initiated that text, I want to be perfectly clear. However, when I responded, even though it was chaste, that opened the door for all the other B.S. that they're now spreading about me. Saying I met him in L.A. That never happened. I've never seen him outside of the Real Housewives of Atlanta taping. Ever. So that's a complete lie."
Kimye were spotted leaving the Palais de Chaillot this evening, with Kim heading over to the Stephane Rolland Haute Couture Spring/Summer 2014 show, sitting front row, of course. Kim left the hotel in this silky silver jumpsuit with matching silver shoes and all kind of cleavage.
Tell us below – did Kim hit the fashion mark? Or did she miss it by a longshot?