It was the first Real Housewives of Beverly Hills vacation last night and true to form it was like a game of Clue with whodunit and why, with what, where and WTF?
Last night's metaphorical Housewives slayer was none other than Brandi Glanville who could hold neither her alcohol or her tongue. Although she did start out by telling us all the things she likes to do with her tongue or have a tongue to do her when she conducted a little market research for her new book. Yep, sex, wine, and Brandi again… *yawn*
Over at Joyce Giraud's house she's preparing for Palm Springs with a fashion show. Joyce's closet is beautiful. And it houses the entire GoldenGirls wardrobe department archives, including several pair of reproduction hibiscus print culottes.
Updated below! Well, it's always nice to share some news of reality stars giving back to the community, and everyone seems to be in the charitable spirit this time of year. It's enough to make a Scrooge like me put away her Bah-Humbugs and finish decorating the tree!
Braxton Family Values stars–and sassy sisters–Traci, Towanda, and Trina Braxton are going to be on Who Wants to Be a Millionaire with Cedric the Entertainer tonight and tomorrow night to raise awareness and money for the organization Saving Our Daughters, an anti-bullying campaign.
So last night's Love & Hip Hop was one giant mess, was it not? Peter Gunz keeps getting worse and worse, and the women in his life have got to be the best actresses on the planet because there is no way that they are that stupid. Throw in K. Michelle's attitude, and my head is reeling. You know it's bad when Rich Dollaz and Erica Mena are the sanest folks on the episode!
Saigon invites Erica Jean to the studio to apologize for screaming at her, throwing her pocketbook, lunging at her, calling her every name under the book, and accusing her of stunting their son's development. No biggie. He explains that his father was always so ugly to his mother and it made him hate his dad. He doesn't want his son to see him treating Erica in the same manner. Erica is thrilled that Saigon has seen the light, and he actually rationally and calmly inquires as to whether she'd be alright if they both took their son to see a speech therapist. He knows his son is fine (he's clearly been doing some more googling!), but it can't hurt to see a specialist. Just think of the drama they could have avoided had he done it that way the first time!
I feel like I need to pull out my Sweet Valley High slam book for the fiasco that was Sunday'sReal Housewives of Atlanta. Most likely to spend her life barefoot and pregnant? Oh, wait, she left the show for her own spin-off…Best looking? Let's ask the folks over at Miss America USA if pretty is as crazy does. As for biggest mouth, I think we can all agree that NeNe Leakes will own what she says–and twist it accordingly to serve her purpose.
This week the Neenster got into a war of words with Phaedra Parks and her special skills. While I'm sure she was known for her oral arguments in law school, NeNe insinuated that Phaedra had other oral accomplishments back in high school. Ladies, ladies, can't we all just get along?
While they hung out by the pool in Palm Springs, Joyce revealed that she can't swim, which prompted Brandi to fire off with "you're a black person". Brandi then tried to jokingly explain that her black friends would've laughed at that because they, too, won't get in the water, fearing getting their weaves wet. Brandi's castmates were shocked by her generalizations and fans reacted, calling her a racist.
Andy Cohen said to Brandi, "As you can imagine I got a buttload of Tweets for you, wanting to know what you were thinking. Kenya Moore, Atlanta Housewife Tweeted 'not all black women wear hair weaves, half the women on Beverly Hills Housewives are wearing some fake hair. Brandi could not be more ignorant.' "
As I expected, Reza lashes out at Mike, "How audacious are you to call me to uninvite me to a disgusting float that's an embarrassment to the gay community. I am disgusted." Reza hangs up on Mike, returns to asking Mirror, Mirror who is the finest gay Persian in all of L.A.
Reza later tells Adam that he's furious with Mike – how dare he be excluded from an event?!? But Reza had no issues cheering on his co-stars as they uninvited Mercedes "MJ" Javid and Golnesa "GG" Gharachedaghi from trips and parties last season. Reza tells Adam he needs time to decompress, which is code for, perfect a sob story that'll help justify his repugnant behavior.
Ugh… I need to lie down immediately after writing this. Seriously – I feel faint and I feel disrespectful even addressing this malarkey.
The first bit of news is not Kanye West's fault, save for the fact that it's totally believable given all the nonsense and highfalutin comparisons he's spouting. A self-described "Global Global Satirical Newspaper of Record" called The Daily Currant published a spam article claiming that Kanye referred to himself as the next Nelson Mandela.
The quote, falsely attributed to Kanye, read, “Mandela was working in South Africa, which has, like what, six people? I started my magic here in the USA and then I took my business global. I liberate minds with my music. That’s more important than liberating a few people from apartheid or whatever.”