My name is Erin and I am a former Jersey Shore fan. Okay, that’s over with. Phew!
Back when Nicole (Snooki) Polizzi was just a wee little pickle-eating, hot tub-defiling Jersey Shore cast member, we might have gazed into her future and thought: women’s prison? pole dancer? But I, for one, did not conjure up “self help guru.” Alas, that is the alternate universe we are living in, folks! (Wait – am I in Hot Tub Time Machine and just don’t know it yet?)
This week, Snooki has taken to Instagram to share the publication news of her fifth – yes, fifth – book, Strong Is the New Sexy: A Kick Ass Memoir. “My 5th book is ready for pre-sale & coming out officially October 13!!! Doing tons of book signings and can’t wait to meet you!” gushed Snooki.
Nicole welcomed her son, Lorenzo, in 2012 and her daughter, Giovanna, in 2014. Over the weekend, Nicole and Jionni LaValle threw a joint birthday party for Lorenzo and Giovanna at Ort Farms in New Jersey. Nicole went all out with a Mickey Mouse and Minnie Mouse theme and everyone at the party enjoyed the fall activities at the farm.
It’s very rare that I think a reality star makes a decision that’s not rooted in becoming more famous. Maturity seems sparse among them, and if you’d asked five years ago if I considered any of the Jersey Shore folks to be “mature” I would have laughed in your face after screaming “GTL, beeatches!”
My, how times have changed. Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi and Jenni “JWoww” Farley became household names as they drunkenly face planted in the sand and fist pumped in the sluttiest of Shore Store apparel. Of course, over time, both girls fell in love and started families with the orangest of gorilla juiceheads. We got to see the progression on later seasons of Jersey Shore and on their tamer spin-off Snooki & JWoww. However, now the best friends are committed to raising their families off of MTV. Wait, what? Reality stars rejecting reality television? I can’t even.
Another first.. newlywedsNicole and Jionni LaValle hosted Christmas Eve in their new home. We’ve learned to expect the unexpected from Nicole over the years, and her holiday dinner table was no exception. Um, scratch off lottery tickets, anyone? Prepare yourself for the cuteness that is Lorenzo, Giovanna, and Meilani and check out Nicole and Jenni’s pictures below.
It’s no secret that I am a massive fan of the GTL. Sure, my gym is feeling inadequate when I only get 20% of my daily Fitbit steps while walking back and forth to the office copier with no other form of exercise. My tanning is of the spray variety, if at all…and that’s only for special occasions when orange is better than transparent. As for laundry, let’s not even go there. But I adore those kids of the Jersey Shore. I loved them when they were wasted fools making a mockery of everything Seaside Heights wanted to preserve, and I have enjoyed seeing them grow into actual normal(ish), successful adults.
That said, following Nicole “Snooki” Polizzi’swalk down the aisle with Jionni LaValle (who recently lost his license thanks to a DUI) has been a lot of fun. Who doesn’t love to see a true friendship like Snooki and JWoww’s that was born of reality television. It’s a true rarity…like a unicorn, or a decent, handsome, rich guy who opens doors, pulls out chairs, and pays my student loans. That said, there were some guests missing from Snooki’s nuptials. I don’t really care about the whereabouts of Mike “The Situation” Sorrentino, but where, oh where was my precious Vinny Guadagnino? Sidebar: is it weird that I have to look up the spelling of “notoriety” (I just did again…always want to put an “a” in it) any time I want to use it, but “Guadagnino” is ingrained in my own personal spelling bee?