Last night was the season 2 premiere of The Real Housewives of Melbourne. Unfortunately, we had to say goodbye to the doctor’s wife, Andrea Moss. Two new wives are added to the crew this season: Gamble Breaux and Pettifleur Berenger! Good to know the insanity of names like the Apples and Pilot Inspektors of the U.S. have made their mark on the Aussies. I have never heard of Gamble or Pettifleur as I’m having a baby in a few weeks and have scoured the web for names and haven’t seen these at all. Not.Even. Once. Okie!
Chyka Keebaugh, Lydia Schiavello and Jackie Gillies meet for lunch and oy vey, they are already starting with the references about Lydia’s sex life and her newly dropped weight. Chyka asks how much coffee she is drinking and gross, here we go! Lydia responds that she drinks 8 cups (that’s a crap load of coffee per day IMO) and her heart is pounding and she quickly quips that she likes to get pounded all day. The waiter stops by the table to take her drink order and she shares that she likes wet p****es…but only as the drink and.. just STOP already! Day one and I can’t handle the superfluous sexual remarks coming out of Lydia’s mouth. Barf.
Accomplished actors have to be complete chameleons in order to to suspend reality for the audience and portray their characters. We don’t watch Rosemund Pike pretending to be Amy Dunne in Gone Girl….we are drawn into watching the craziness that is Amy unfold on our screens. To be honest, it was hard to come up with that analogy…one, while I am not opposed to a Ben Affleck full-frontal, I have yet to see Gone Girl (couldn’t put down the book though!), and two, all the Oscar nominated performances I watched this season were stories about real people, not characters. I didn’t want to sound trite or callous by comparing an actor to the true person he or she portrayed. So a Rosemund Pike/Gone Girl example it is! It’s a tough job, y’all.
Why am I even talking about actors and their craft? Well, because of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, of course! Actors must become storytellers, and I sometimes forget that Kim Richards, before she was the mess we see on Bravo, was quite the actress. I so wanted to be her on Escape to Witch Mountain, and I’m not ashamed to say that I own the entire Magnum, PI series on DVD. Kim is an actor and a storyteller, and she told one doozie of a story on this week’s RHOBH!
Our thoughts are with Sarah, Ryan, Tamra and their families. We’ll keep you posted on any updates Tamra shares.
UPDATE 1: Tamra shared this morning, “Thank you for all the prayers for @sarahrod77 And please keep them coming. She has 3 large blood clots in one lung and 2 in the other. She also has some swelling around her heart. love you Sarah. Get well sweetie.”
Speaking to E! News about season two, Jackie shared, “If you’ve seen season one my friend, I certainly have not changed anything. I always keep it real, I’m always very straightforward. I could probably swear a little less. It sounds much nicer in another language, like I usually swear in, but when you swear in English it sounds a bit more, uh, bloody awful.”
“I am going to touch on the double standards of some of our Housewives. No need to name names,” blogged Brandi. “If you watch, you’ve already seen it. Let’s compare reactions.” I suggest y’all grab a drink and a snack for this mess.
Brandi compared the reactions to her “tossing an inch of wine” vs. Lisa Rinna “heaving broken glass at people’s faces.” “HORRIFIC – Tossing an inch of wine while ‘play acting soap opera’ was worthy of pearl clutching and disgust usually reserved for when people find a mass grave,” said Brandi, exaggerating. “It’s called joking, horseplay, goofing, messing around. My intent was mischief. I was playing. It was misunderstood, but it’s not in the same league as violence.”
In not so shocking news, another Jenelle Evans relationship has come to an end with her boyfriend/fiance/husband being hauled off to jail for domestic violence. It’s a rite of passage, really, for those who end a relationship with the messy Teen Mom 2 star. In case you’ve misplaced your flow chart, Jenelle was most recently engaged to Nathan Griffith, the father of her second child.
Police were called to Jenelle and Nathan‘s home around 4:45 a.m. yesterday morning. No arrests were made during that (probably regularly scheduled) visit, but the police were called back yesterday afternoon and Nathan was arrested for domestic violence. According to the Horry County police report, there was a physical fight involving a toilet and an engagement ring. Only on Teen Mom.
So Phaedra Parks is a bit less, um, genteel this season, wouldn’t you say? Don’t get me wrong, she’s still wants to seem like a refined Southern Belle, but her words are more Mad Dog 20/20 even if her voice is as smooth as a mint julep. Come to think of it, most Southern ladies (myself included) can be that way, so maybe she’s right on point!
I do know, however, that the Real Housewives of Atlanta star’s next career path should be that of a tree farmer. Phaedra is all about the shade this season! Granted she’s been through a lot with the Apollo drama, but I think she may just be coming a bit more out of her shell! Ooh how she came at Kenya Moore on this week’s episode, and Krayonce wasn’t even wielding a bullhorn!