Last night was the second installment of the Real Housewives Of New Jersey reunion. I don’t want to go into the stupidness that is stupid Teresa Giudice and her stupid financial nonsense and stupid decisions that made her go to jail. I mean damn, read what you sign, ask questions if you don’t understand – hello!
The most laughable comment from the whole reunion was Teresa trying to convince us that she’s usually a very conscientious-y type of person who “always dots her ‘I’s and crosses her ‘T’s.” First of all, she knows two letters in the alphabet? Bet they were both used a lot in the PLEA AGREEMENT Teresa didn’t read, but signed. Second of all, if you were a routine “i” dotter or a “t” crosser you’d not get indicted for bankruptcy fraud or sign fake W-2s because you’d actually make sure the people you hire, like your accountant, are doing their jobs! And finally – I’m frankly surprised Teresa was able to use that expression correctly. I would fully expect her to say something like “I’m the type-a person who crosses eyes and dots my teacup, with you know, fabulicious teas – coming soon!”
Let’s just say this, Denial is the longest river in New Jersey. The river of denial flows right out of Melissa Gorga‘s $3.8 million Montville mansion (where they had the big ol’ plumbing disaster and the leaky pipes and the plastic sink) and it roars down the hill into the chicken coops of Teresa and Joe’s purloined marble encrusted converted trailer, built at the base of Mount Tackiola. Now for sale, delusion included in purchase price!
Tom 1 is hurt by James because they used to be buddies, they made beeeaaauteeefoool music together guys, but then James screwed Tom 1 over for Kristen. And did him dirty.
“I have every reason not to like James. I walked in on him and Kristen hooking up at my place when Kristen was supposed to be moving out and he was supposed to be moving in,” Tom 1 revealed. “I later found out that they had used my bed and that James had lied to Kristen about me to get her into my bed!”
To say that the show is hard to watch, is putting it mildly. On the heels of his wife’s week long hospital stay for a mental breakdown variety of sicknesses, Dean announced that he is leaving True Tori.
Are my eyes deceiving me?!? Has Amber Marchese written her shortest Real Housewives of New Jersey blog of the season? Yes, I think she has. Thank you, Jesus! In the blog, Amber schooled us about what happens at a reunion, questioned whether or not Dina Manzo has a heart, defended her use of “The Cancer” ad nauseam, and sided with Jacqueline Laurita in the messy Laurita/ Manzo family feud.
“Hello Housewife friends,” exclaimed Amber. “Welcome to the jungle baby! My first reunion was a wild ride. Call me sick and twisted, but I had an unbelievable time at the reunion when most, I have been warned, dread it. I felt like it was ‘The Great Purge’ and when I went home I felt relieved of any built up tension. I don’t care if anyone has a grudge against me, my slate is clean and I harbor no ill feelings towards anyone. I love to argue my point, and I truly stood by all of my convictions this season, so I was ready to say exactly what was on my mind, and then some.”
He’s baaaack! On last night’s season finale of Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles, viewers were finally treated with the return of Malibu Madison Hildebrand. Bravo producers had teased this early on in the season but decided to hold out until the very end. And it’s a good thing. He was just the ray of sunshine needed to wrap things up after last week’s hankyfest. But if you blinked, you may have missed him fraternizing with the Brits!
Speaking of…James Harris and David Parnes, aspiring to expand their business along the California coastline, are enlisted by client, Christine, to sell her home in Laguna Beach. However, they are greeted with a chilly reception from the local agents at their open house. One broker in particular gets all up in their business and asks what they are doing there. Well, this is America and we have a right to free enterprise. Anywhere. Same as you do, lady. The Brits ‘shake it off, shake it off’ like Taylor Swift and joke that the shade they are getting is because of their accents and clothes. Not quite. But I get where the agents are coming from – they live and breathe Laguna Beach. This is their value add to potential buyers in the area. They are just being protective of their tightknit community. It would be no different if either of the Joshes encroached on their territory. But not as much for Madison who, looking quite refreshed, (don’t blink) stops by to take a look around. The Brits would be wise to connect with him, the self-anointed ‘Beach Guy’, as he has done business there before and this type of clientele is his bread and butter.
Kim Richards is speaking out in an official statement released this afternoon via her rep. Kim wants to explain the circumstances surrounding Kingsley’s attack on her niece, Alexia Umansky, aka Kyle Richards’daughter.
The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star shares, “First off let me start by saying the safety and welfare of my family means the world to me. I love Alexia like she is my own child and have been in constant contact with my sister Kyle and niece Alexia. The events that lead up to Kingsley biting Alexia resulted from the girls entering my bedroom after I already told them my room was off limits. Alexia has been away from college for months and hasn’t seen Kingsley in a long time. Kingsley is used to the home being full of children and since the kids have gone away, the house has become quiet. While the two have been very close and friendly in the past, the dog has become very protective of me in the meantime. When guests are over Kinglsey stays in my bedroom and has been given access to a special fenced in area in my backyard. Anyone entering the house is made aware that the dog should not be bothered. ”
Dina and Jacqueline have already spent oodles and oodles of time telling us how they feel on twitter, through the haze of wine and cat hair, each of them accuses the other of lying. Unfortunately 140 characters (even when you tweet over and over again!) just isn’t enough. I do wish we could limit wine and delusion in the same manner we limit twitter type-age, although it’s usually user-abuse that causes the issues (i.e. tweeting constantly.).