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vanderpump-rules-recap

Let's discuss Vanderpump Rules, shall we. Or should I say The Stassi Schroeder Is Mean hour? Oh Stassi – she's such an angry little thing, isn't she. Vanderpump Rules is the tale of two delusional girls and their aspirations being far bigger than their aptitude. First up is Staaaaaasi, or queen of the blue micro minis. 

Everyone's favorite descendent of a Swedish princess moved out to LA with the promise of stardom in her eyes. I mean after all , Stassi is like a 20th removed royal so naturally that should mean she'd arrive in Hollywood, announce: "Here I am!" and she'd be shoving Angelina Jolie off her pedestal, right? Unfortunately things didn't' work out that way.

Someone ought to tell Staaaaaaaaaasi that Swedish princess don't sling drinks – and they probably wear bras to work. I could be wrong as I'm only descendent of Scottish princesses and we always wear undergarments. 

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Bethenny Frankel is using twitter as a medium to communicate with her fans in the wake of her divorce from Jason Hoppy. In lieu of doing interviews, she's letting "sources" and the media make claims that this was a very hard decision for her and that she is in despair over ending her marriage. 

One month after announcing her separation, she filed for divorce, and wasted no time in requesting full custody of daughter Bryn, child support, medical and dental insurance, and to be listed as a beneficiary on Jason's life insurance policy. 

When the media and the public got wind of her demands the blogs and internet erupted with comments. And apparently Bethenny, who made a business of plastering her life all over the place on Bethenny Ever After, is frustrated by the reactions she's getting. 

"I need a little break from unsolicited advice today. Let's all just lighten it up even if just for a few hours," she tweeted hours after the story broke. 

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Rhobh-recap

Let's discuss the crafty editors on last night's episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. So there they were with a whole huge storyline about how skanky Scheana Marie Famewhore pretended she had never heard of nor seen Eddie Cibrian before and participated in a two-year-long affair with him not knowing he was married to Brandi Glanville. I mean Eddie was unemployed, but karma is a bitch because he eventually left both Scheana and Brandi for LeAnn Rimes. And I would say Eddie lost on that gamble! 

Other things happened last night. Bravo introduced us to Taylor Armstrong's boyfriend John Bluher. Way back in the day Taylor was telling us John was her pro-bono attorney on the $1.5M lawsuit she was battling against MMRGlobal. They were also "just friends." Friends with benefits, also known as an affiar. And then he just popped up on the screen attending a couple's night with Taylor, Kyle Richards, and Lisa Vanderpump. Wasn't that a coincidence. Sometimes – just sometimes – the Bravo editors don't do us injustice. Hey, it's once in a blue moon! 

Things begin with Faye Resnick trying her darndest to become relevant. Yeah, we still don't like you – go away. Faye's face is like melted, globbed together wax. It's clear that with the friendship she shares with Adrienne Maloof, they also share a plastic surgeon. Karma is a bitch like that, I s'pose!

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teen-mom-farrah-abraham-waxes-sophias-unibrow

It's no secret that Teen Mom star Farrah Abraham is obsessed with "perfecting" her outward appearance. In less than two years, Farrah has enhanced her boobs, bought a new nose and chin, and blasted anyone who has judged her decision to permanently alter her looks at such a young age (including Teen Mom 2's Jenelle Evans).

Until a personality transplant is an option, Farrah will always be "ugly" to me, and this latest news certainly hasn't helped improve my opinion of her. 

Over the weekend, Farrah blogged about Sophia's unibrow, writing, "So here I am faced with a standout historical moment in motherhood when I can confirm to myself that my little, adorable, most cuddle-able cutie, baby girl has a Unibrow. I felt bad for her."

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Photo Credit: Joel Ginsburg/Wenn.com

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It's been quite some time since we parted ways with those crazy kids from The Hills.  With the exception of the two queen bees and arch rivals Lauren Conrad and Kristin Cavallari, most of the cast from the Hills and it's predecessor Laguna Beach have faded off into obscurity, only managing a place in the spotlight thanks to DUI mug shots and quickly canceled reality shows. 

As you recall, LC had her fill of bad boys, setting her sights on Jason Wahler in high school.  After a brief fling, he disappeared, only to resurface as her main squeeze on The Hills.  The poor guy clearly has had his issues with alcohol, and their relationship was very volatile.  After Jason, Lauren found comfort in the arms of Doug Reinhardt, a former baseball player and total jackleg.  He was so skeezy I needed to shower after watching a scene with him in it.  Bless his little rich Laguna heart was he a dolt!

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nokia lumia 900 launch 3 070412

2013 is starting off as the year of kicking skeletons out of the reality TV stars' closets.  This week's dish involves our favorite Shahs of Sunset star, Mercedes 'MJ' Javid.  Or Mercedah Christine Javid, according to her rap sheet. 

Back when MJ was just 18, she was working as a teller at the Home Savings Bank in Beverly Hills and got caught up in a case of fraud and spent a month in prison for her part in the crime.  The case details are outlined in court documents that were submitted when MJ was requesting her real estate license.  

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ryan lochte twitter

It's not until I hear news like this that I remember how flipping awesome the Olympics were…and now, they're coming back to us (sort of) thanks to Ryan Lochte and (no surprise here) E!  Yes, that's right, everyone's himbo with the washboard abs has finally secured his own reality show.

Ryan made a splash (so sorry) in the 2012 Summer Games in London, and he was noticed just as much for his classic good looks, piercing blue eyes, and diamond studded grill as he was for his gold medal winning prowess.  Granted, you can practically hear the hamster wheel circling in his head when he tries to form a thought, but he sure is pretty. 

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