Reality Tea

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Last night's Love & Hip Hop Atlanta was all about a watch analogy.  K. Michelle realized it was time to act her age (although she may have had a little hiccup), Nikko was ready to clean Stevie J.'s clock when Stevie tried to upstage him in the gift-giving department, and Mimi Faust seems poised to give Stevie a "second" chance.  Sorry, that last one was a stretch!

After their bust-up, Joseline Hernandez meets with Stevie J. to get her money from her international record deal.  She doesn't want to fight with him, but she's tired of him bleeping every other bleeping bleeps and buying TVs for hos.  His bleep is raw, and Joseline doesn't want it anymore…she just wants her contract and her big record deal.  Unfortunately, Stevie drops the bomb that the deal fell through.  Oh, and if you didn't already know, he owns Joseline.  Please.

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teresa g hat kim

In the past two episodes of Real Housewives of New Jersey, Teresa Giudice has been keeping us mesmerized with her sparkly, jewel-encrusted, bedazzled trucker hat.  If you've been admiring it and wondering if Milania was taking orders, you're in luck! 

Real Housewives of Orange County star Alexis Bellino took to Twitter to claim the hat as part of her very own collection.  Alexis shared, "Thank you @teresa_giudice for wearing the Alexis Diamond Trucker hat on #RHONJ the past 2 episodes!  Get yours at http://www.shop.glitzybella.com/The-Alexis-Diamond-Trucker-hat-403031.htm "

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Celebrities Visit SiriusXM Studios - June 17, 2013

Real Housewives of Orange County star Lydia McLaughlin was a guest on Watch What Happens Live tonight, along with the always hilarious Kristen Johnston, who was promoting season 3 of her comedy "The Exes".  Also in the clubhouse was Lydia's mom Judy, acting as bartender.

Andy opened by showing some adorable old video clips of Lydia as a young girl, doing news reporting and even a PSA she did for child abuse awareness.  She has seriously always been this sweet and cute. 

The first caller asked Lydia why she's such a Debbie Downer about her mom's marijuana use. "I don't think I'm a Debbie Downer and I think I have the right to my opinion.  She's my mom and I love her."

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gretchen bikini

Like, ZOMG! Gretchen Rossi is like a real live designer and to prove it the bikini she was rocking while she tantrumed and sobbed in last week's Mexico last week has sold out! 

The Real Housewife of Orange County star took to Facebook to share the amazing news and let us know that if we missed out on the opportunity to nab some Gretchen Christine Booty Sequined Butt Floss, there is more on the way! I wonder if I can nab a free one as a Reality Tea perk? 

"Omg! Cannot believe the suit I'm wearing in this picture completely sold out nationally and at swimspot.com a few days after I wore it on #RHOC in Mexico! What a testament to how amazing my fans and customers are!," Gretchen wrote. "So glad you guys like Lisa's and my designs! Other styles still available in this material! @luxebylisavogel #gretchenchristinexluxe #styles4allbodytypes" 

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long-island-princesses-casey

This week on Princesses: Long Island, the Hamptons weekend continues, and it's beyond horrible. 

In case you forgot: Erica Gimbel slept with Casey Cohen's boyfriend in high school, and Chanel "Coco" Omari, the bringer togetherer of this group, has invited both of them to the Hamptons for the weekend. They're all adults, so not a big deal, right? Not a chance in hell! Their first dinner ends with Casey at the dinner table, holding her head and sobbing, and Erica in the backyard, puffing away and looking like a regurgitated hair ball.

Casey is clearly cray cray, and Chanel, Ashlee White, and Joey stare at her accordingly. She leaves the room to search for the marbles she has lost but finds Erica instead. Casey takes this opportunity to remind the whore that she has ruined her life. Like, Erica slept with Casey's boyfriend well over ten years ago, and it still consumes her thoughts daily.

My first three thoughts: Where does Andy Cohen find these people? I also cannot figure out why Joey Lauren, a seemingly normal, classy young woman, is friends with them. And I am going to need a lot of wine to get through the rest of the season.

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rhonj-kimd

Alright kiddos, so Real Housewives of New Jersey happened so let's all take a break from bashing our heads against the wall to read this recap. I personally would rather go through another drug-free labor than spend one more minute on the Teresa Giudice vs. Melissa Gorga mess, but hey – duty calls. Oh – and in case you haven't heard I had a baby this week! Word to the wise: try to get to the hospital in a timely manner, right Melissa?!! 

Last night Teresa and Melissa put forth another round of she-said/she-said; bobbing and weaving around the ring like two drag queens in a RuPaul's Drag Race boxing challenge. Except the fashionably challenged version! It was sparkly leopard print verbal uppercut blocked by spray-tanned orange fauxmarble encrusted sucker punch. And a low-brow duck followed by a high-brow weave and spin. Before we knew it, fur was flying and Caroline Manzo's front yard petting zoo had died in vain over more of Teresa and Melissa's nonsense. 

Since we're talking boxing – things begin in a gym. Apparently all of Franklin Lakes and its surrounding lower echelon suburbs go to the same gym and NONE of them knew it! Just imagine… no awkward collisions at the lowfat banana smoothie bar ever occurred! Who would believe it?! 

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tlc-breaking-amish-los-angeles

Breaking Amish: LA is coming soon to a TV near you! 

Once again, TLC promotes Breaking Amish as a series about five sheltered young adults, four Amish and one Mennonite, who leave their communities to experience life beyond the church. Only this time the cast visits Los Angeles instead of New York City.

TLC promises, "This season features brighter skies – and darker secrets – as the cast leave their homes and venture west to live together, experiencing a lot of fake firsts along the way." Bright lights! Door knobs! Airplane! Gag me!

"With an all-new cast and a different, vibrant city, Breaking Amish: LA opens the door to these fascinating lives and the journeys they all embark on as they explore this new world in search of who they want to be – at the risk of losing everything they've ever had."

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farrah-abraham-teen-mom-farrah-superstar

Oh no.  Make it stop.  Make her go away.  If only her stupidity, condescending nature and self-absorption wasn't so gosh darn entertaining.  When she's not waxing her toddler's eyebrows, bragging about her bedroom skills, starring in porn, or upping her boob size, Teen Mom's Farrah Abraham is sparring with Charlie Sheen.

Sadly, she isn't smart enough to know better.  Someone forgot to drink their Tiger Blood!  Luckily, Farrah has been learning from Charlie (#almostwinning?), and now she is firing back at his hate filled response to her releasing text messages between the two.  Of course, what better way for Farrah to insult Charlie than the classiest of media outlets?  Seriously, who is watching Sophia?

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