Reality Tea

Andy Cohen

We all have very strong opinions about the Real Housewives – that is the understatement of the year, says Reality Tea's comment moderator, I'm sure – and we all have favorites and not so favorites! Personally, I love when nobody takes the shows too seriously, and we all have fun discussing the housewives latest fashion disasters, relationship drama, and friendship explosions. 

Andy Cohen, the man responsible for bringing us the best of the best and the worst of the worst, knows the housewives better than anyone. So, when he hosted the CLIO Image Awards for excellence in fashion and beauty last week, Allure Magazine asked Andy to name the "BEST HOUSEWIFE" in several categories. Who's the best dressed? Who's Andy's ideal dinner partner? Who has the best hair and the best booty? A few of the names shocked me!

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Summer Rewis Gives Birth

I don't know where MTV is finding the girls on this season's 16 And Pregnant, because each one has a more messed up situation than the next! I can only hope this is proof that the show is definitely lowering the teen pregnancy rate and fewer girls are in fact getting pregnant. 

Last night 17-year-old Summer Rewis and her boyfriend DJ gave birth to son Peyton as they dealt with Summer's moms drug addiction and Peyton's health problems. Summer and DJ are from Collins, GA and need subtitles. Often. Summer is super cute and despite her rough childhood seems level-headed and sweet. She and DJ have a pretty stable relationship and I like them. 

While Summer's mom is a hot mess, DJ's parents are very supportive and let the couple live with them while Summer completes high school and DJ goes to school to become a welder. Summer also has 3 younger half-sisters whom she's close with. One happens to be called Pookie, which I'm just gonna hope is a nickname. Another says she has feet that smell like Fritos. 

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Shannon Beador

Sure, she wastes gems by having them put in her teeth, she comes off as the world's biggest nag, and I am not NOT worried about the state of her marriage, but by God, I love Shannon Beador, and last night's Real Housewives of Orange County only affirmed my affections. Not only did she stay true to herself (I like that even though she enjoys spending time with Vicki Gunvalson, she wasn't shy about calling out her mean girl behavior to new girl Lizzie Rovsek), but she managed to make Heather Dubrow look like the ultimate twit (although given how the season has been going thus far, I'm not sure that's quite a feat). 

In her Bravo blog highlighting last night's episode, Shannon begins, "I consider Dr. Moon a part of the family so I was really excited when Vicki agreed to see him with me. I love Vicki's spirit — she is open to anything, especially holistic and alternative therapies. Dr. Moon has a theory that when a person is "jammed," energy cannot properly flow through the body for optimum health. He will go through a process to 'de-jam' a patient and one of those areas to 'de-jam' is the tailbone. I know Vicki was joking around, but I want to be clear he does not put his finger in your rear end."

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Bachelorette Andi Dorfman

With less than a week until season ten of the Bachelorette kicks off, ABC has released the photos/bios of the 25 bachelors vying for Andi Dorfman's heart. 

"Andi, 26, has it all at first glance – her loving family, her great friends, and her dream job [as an Assistant District Attorney]," said ABC. "But she realized there was something missing. So, last September, she put her busy life on hold to try and find love on the Bachelor. She thought she had found her match, but in the end it was not meant to be, and Andi walked away from Juan Pablo Galavis. Andi did not, however, let that experience stop her desire to find her perfect soul mate." The Bachelorette returns Monday, May 19.

Among Andi's bachelors is Eric Hill, who passed away on April 23 following a paragliding accident. Season ten will be dedicated to Eric, and Chris Harrison will honor him in an encore presentation of the premiere on Thursday, May 22. Mike Fleiss said about Eric, "We're all just devastated. He was such a vibrant young dude. He was. It's tragic." 

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New girl Lizzie Rovsek

Last night the ladies of Real Housewives of Orange County all swore they weren't menopausal. In an effort to prove this they all reverted to acting like 10th graders who had ditched their chaperone on the high school field trip! Woo Hoo! Let's be bitches. 

Vicki Gunvalson and Shannon Beador have connected over their mutual crazy and empty love tanks. Shannon knows just how to temporarily fill hers and she's letting Vicki in on her little secret: Dr. Moon! They pay a visit to his office where Vicki gets acupuncture and demands to check her email because "work! work! work!" and relax-schmelax! She asks Dr. Moon when he's gonna fill up her love tank and he stuck his finger up her butt. I kid you not! Shannon said Dr. Moon "de-jammed it". I think I'd rather have an empty love tank… 

Shannon and new bestie Vicki go get their nails done with Tamra Barney. "You need good nails," Vicki instructs. But apparently you don't need good plastic surgery or frizz free hair. Or good boyfriends. Tamra is still harping about this ugly sweater Christmas party and it was like so horrible having to wear a funky polyester themed sweater. My, my has she become snobby! Who does Tamra think she is – Heather Dubrow? Speaking of which, Tamra and Vicki complain about Heather's pretensions and arrogance. Shannon – so happy to have friends and so happy to feel loved and included (finally someone likes her besides vodka!) – decides she too has a problem with how condescending Heather is. I mean there was that one time Heather snickered about Shannon putting diamonds in her teeth. 

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lhh atl scrappy

I'm curious…do you think VH1 and Mona Scott Young really, truly believe that viewers think Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta is a reality show? The acting is fantastically tragic and there is nothing real about it…except for that sex tape, clearly.

Nikko didn't tell Mimi Faust about his confrontation with Stevie J. immediately after it happened, but he spills the beans when they are driving the next day. When she learns that Nikko has told her ex about the deal Vivid, she has to pull over to read Nikko the riot act.  She is cruising in her new vehicle (thanks, Steven Hirsch!), and Mimi doesn't want to wreck it when she wrecks him. As she cusses up a storm, Nikko just laughs that Stevie shouldn't get her riled up like this. Mimi tries to kick him out of her ride, but when he refuses, she's the one who storms off on foot.

Lil' Scrappy is eating eggs with Erica P…or at least he hopes to be scrambling some things with her. He arrives at her house to find out that she's lit candles and served wine, and he wonders whether he's there to pray or have sex. Scrappy is a bit nervous, but he wants to be a better person. He is feeling guilty about Bambi and he wants to think with this head and not his hiz-ead. Scrappy shuts down Erica's advances, complimenting her that he'd definitely be with her if he didn't already have Bambi. And they say romance is dead!

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Lindsay Lohan

Photo Credit: Andres Otero/WENN.com

jenelle-evans

Jenelle Evans has finally filed for divorce from Courtland Rogers. He is soo 2012. These days, the Teen Mom 2 star is madly in love "Hey, I just met you, and this is crazy. But I am lonely, so impregnate me maybe." mode with Nathan Griffith. So Jenelle and Nathan are expecting their first child together in June.

NOW Jenelle needs for her divorce from Courtland to happen ASAP. Sadly Courtland's original celebratory reaction to his divorce…

Courtland Jenelle divorce papers

…has been replaced with playing dirty. Reportedly, if Jenelle and Courtland's divorce isn't finalized before the birth of her baby, state law says Jenelle's husband's name – Courtland – will go on the birth certificate until paternity is determined. So guess whose divorce lawyer is out of the country until July 11!

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