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I cannot believe I am about to type the following sentences. I mean if you could see my face right now, you would see me with my mouth hanging open. Gretchen Rossi has some lofty, lofty ambition, y'all!

The Real Housewives of Orange County star has big plans to get a spinoff come hell or high water. When staging a proposal to Slave Smiley didn't work Gretchen has transitioned her attempts into plotting to adopt/birth a horde of children. 

"We want to be Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie! That's the goal,” Gretchen gushed to Life & Style. “At this point, we want to have, like, 26 kids.” Oh rllllyyy… well, perhaps she needs to borrow some money from Angie and Brad if that's her plan cause um… well, you know… 

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Kris jenner

Presented for your captioning pleasure, we have Kris Jenner in a bikini, lamenting the end of summer.  The Kardashian matriarch wrote on Instagram, "Last day of summer gonna miss you".

Give us your best caption for Kris' bikini-gram.  And vote in our polls below! 

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sister wives panel

It was an intense time with Kody Brown and the family on last night's episode of Sister Wives, as they have chosen to participate in a panel discussion on polygamy at UNLV.  Kody is concerned that it could turn into a debate.  Not surprisingly, Robyn is unnecessarily fired up, Meri couldn't care less, and Janelle is the only one who comes across as sounding very intelligent.  Christine doesn't want any part of the negativity, and daughter Aspyn wants to attend to support her mother.

We learn that Christine's Aunt Kristyn is on the opposing side of the panel, as is Kollene, the teenager that Kody's older children met when volunteering at a shelter for people trying to escape abusive polygamist situations.  Christine's aunt is worried that the Browns are painting a rosy and unrealistically sunny picture of polygamy. Kristyn is one of eight children (her sister is Christine's mother), and her mother was the first of thirteen wives to her father.  She married at seventeen and it wasn't long before her husband was finding new wives.  Kristyn finally left him at age fifty.  Something tells me Janelle is going to be very interested in hearing her story…

Kollene grew up in a cult-like polygamist family, and she is quick to admit that her experiences are far different from the Browns.  While she's never said it, I have a feeling she suffered a lot of abuse.  Kristyn shares that met Kody when he was first courting Christine and she was fully supportive of polygamy.  Willie is also a panel member who was part of Warren Jeffs FLDS family.  He is one of forty-two children and escaped the lifestyle with his mother and six sisters.

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kim kardashian kanye west date 081012

All kindza shakeups happening in Keeping Up With The Kardashians kingdom! 

In the wake of the Lamar fiasco, Kim Kardashian is parting ways with the long-time Kardashian family publicist and hoping to create a new identity for herself besides sex tape vixen and reality TV queen. You think she'd be more grateful for the brave soul who made these do-nothings famous! 

Kim wants to set herself apart from the Kardashian p.r. machine, and Kanye West advised her to build her own team.” a source told Page Six

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rhonj-recap

So last night on Real Housewives of New Jersey the producers teased us with progress, yet again, but then we all ended up right back where we started with some sort of family drama nonsense. 

Gaaawd. Gawwwwwd. Gaaaaaaaaaaaaawd. It's all sooooo boring. We don't care. And you know what, it doesn't even seem believable anymore. Ugh. That's like all I have to muster. Recap over. Bye! Just kidding, but I'm gonna go ahead and say the highlight of last night's show was Penny Drossos-Karagiorgis' 10 foot long ponytail extension from the My Little Pony Weave Collection! Seriously that synthetic tail she was sporting was the color of Kraft Mac & Cheese and looked like straight up plastic Easter grass. As RuPaul would say: 'Grrrrrrrrllllll…' 

My other favorite part of the episode: Melissa Gorga's "singing". Her music career is about as believable as Penny's hair. Alright let's dive in!

So Teresa Giudice is pimping out Skinny Italian foods. She's got some sort of "store" where she has all the packages displayed. Is it edible? Apparently she's saving pasta from being boring by dumping a bunch of love in some pre-packaged rigatoni. Whatever. The real point of this meeting is so she can discuss the Melissa drama with her mom and mother-in-law. I'm not gonna snark – the mommies are adorable. They encourage Teresa to invite Joe and Melissa for a family lunch. Alls good now… for less time than it takes to boil a pot of spaghetti! 

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tamar sold out

Tamar Braxton is on a roll!  Not only does the Braxton Family Values star have a precious new baby with husband Vince Herbert, she's got a best-selling album on her hands!  

Not only is her R&B Album Love and War in the top spot, the singer and reality star is also breaking some records.  An excited Tamar shared on Instagram, "#TAMARTIANS are so Amazing! Won't he do it! #itwasalladream"

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brody jenner shoulder

The hotness that is Brody Jenner (I'm sorry, I can't help it!) has been on a surfing vacation in Indonesia for the past few weeks.  Unfortunately for Brody, the waves haven't been too kind to him as he's been hanging ten.  Fortunately for me, Brody has been posting pictures of his injuries (and his lovely body) on Instagram so his followers can keep up with what he's doing.  

According to Brody, he's been in a constant battle with a coral reef, and the reef seems to be winning.  He scratched up his back pretty badly when he first got to Indonesia, and then he had another mishap a few days ago.  Saturday Brody posted the above picture, sharing, "After this wave I realized it was not the best idea to pull in to the barrel at onshore Bankvaults on the first wave of the set. After this wave I took 3 monsters to the head on dry reef and tore apart the same shoulder I injured on the first day of the trip.. On my way home, grateful it was not worse…"  

Ouch!  Very glad it wasn't more serious.  When he wasn't getting pummeled by reefs, Brody enjoyed a nice long vacay in Indonesia.  Check out the pictures after the jump!

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Melissa Gorga Joe attend Mcdonald's event

Joe and Melissa Gorga must be all moved in and unpacked!  The Real Housewives of New Jersey couple stepped out last night in NYC. 

Melissa and Joe attended a McDonald's event that kicked off the start of the NFL season by launching the new "Mighty Wings".  She Tweeted, "Are you watching football?!!! Have you tried @mcdonalds new #mightywings they are Delish!!! Just left their launch party!"

Other celebs pretending to eat on the red carpet: Jenny McCarthy, Adrienne Bailon, True Blood hottie Joe Manganiello, and rapper Eve.

I'm sure Teresa Giudice will be attending an event for Burger King later this week…. stay tuned! 

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