Let's revel in how horrid and scripted last night's Dance Moms was, shall we? If I didn't love these precious little talented girls so much, I'd be kicking Abby Lee Miller and her momtourage to the curb…and out of my DVR season pass! I do agree with one thing Abby said in her recent interview–viewers need to be treated to more dancing and less drama (Abby's hateful shenanigans included!).
Abby receives a phone call from a judge at last week's competition in Greensboro. There was an error in scoring, and Maddie and Kendall's Sugar and Spice solo was actually supposed to get second place, not the top prize they were awarded. Abby seems to salivate at the mouth over this news, as it validates her argument that Kendall screwed up her part. We all know what second place is, right? Say it with me, folks…first losers!
Abby goes into pyramid with the smuggest of smug looks on her face. She tells her dancers that she was unimpressed by all of their dancing regardless of how well they place. Abby takes great pleasure in sharing the mathematical error that caused Sugar and Spice to take first place when they were really supposed to be first loser. She goes after Kendall and wonders if she thinks she's as good as Sophia…guess what, she's not. Wait, who is Sophia again? Oh yeah, that little girl that danced once and hasn't been back for two episodes. A dear Chloe consoles her tearful friend who finds herself back at the very bottom of the pyramid. Joining Kendall at the bottom is Maddie. Abby explains that if her duet partner falters, she falls with her. Nia is also on the bottom for an "okay job." Paige and Chloe make up the second tier. Paige moves up for placing in the top five, and Chloe joins her for exceling in the group number. An excited MacKenzie is at the top of the pyramid, and she has earned her spot back in the group number. A very present Brooke is still nowhere to be found in Abby's hierarchy.
Now that she's on her book tour for her new tome "Drinking and Tweeting and Other Brandi Blunders," Brandi seems to be back on the shock value train where she speaks without thinking…and then continues to speak, and chat, and talk, and–just let it rest already! Brandi doesn't seem to realize that she has the upper hand in this situation if she would just close her mouth. LeAnn will implode all on her own. Brandi won't go down with her if she would just hush. Am I the only one who feels this way?
While Ashlee has said Kahdijiha randomly and violently attacked her by ripping out chunks of her hair, tearing her clothes, and throwing her to the ground, an inside source tells us that isn't quite how it went down. Our source exclusively shared, "Ashlee's version of events were totally fabricated. There is footage that shows Ashlee throwing a glass at Kahdijiha and Kahdijiha was simply defending herself."
Last night on Vanderpump Rules the battle for Stassi Schroeder's corroded heart continued. And it involved men brawling in the parking lot, thrown drinks, and lots of tears. Was I the only one laughing?
So Stassi is corralling her two best friends Kristen Doute and Katie Maloney (who finally got some airtime this week!) to go to Vegas for her 24th birthday. It's a tradition that every year on the eve of the most illustrious birthday of the year – almost more important that Baby Jesus' – Stassi begins her annual trek to the holy land. The mecca of debauchery, inappropriately abused sequins, and liquid splendor. And all hail queen Stassi of the golden hair and orange tan cause she is the chosen one. That's what she tells herself anyway. I'm still surprised she can find two people willing to vacation with her.
Apparently Stassi has A-List friends and B-List friends, all of whom are employees at Sur per her contract with Bravo and first she invites the A-Listers so they can be sure to waste their vacation days on her and get off work. Then when she's positive the B-Listers won't be able to score time off she pity invites them and then laughs when they feel bad declining. More champagne for her!
Last night marked a lot of positives for Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. One those being that there was absolutely no Taylor Armstrong drunken drama to report. And the ladies went to Las Vegas and GOT. ALONG! *gasp* Of course, being that this is Bravo and they like to traumatize and put us through undue emotional strain, there were also some drawbacks. Namely she whose face melts like a crayon left in the sun. Versions 1 & 2!
Things begin with Yolanda Foster, her fridge, her lemonpalooza, and her Hermes belt hosting an anti-aging conference. Yolanda explains that scary plastic surgery zombies who pump their faces full of toxins need to accept that aging is natural and that moving one's face is too. I think we just discovered why Yolanda doesn't like Adrienne Maloof or Faye Resnick - she doesn't agree with their "grooming" habits or the fact that even while crying, screaming, and attempting to smile their faces look like blobs of dough with eye and nose holes.
Now correct me if I'm wrong, but I do not believe Mrs. Foster4.0 is immune to the needle of 'tox. That forehead is awfully smooth for a woman of her age. I don't believe lemons are solely responsible for her refined pores. Do you?
Prior to slinging drinks and swearing on her microminis that she's a descendent of Swedish royalty, Stassi appeared on a competition reality show about being spoiled and entitled. Once a bitch, always a bitch, I s'pose!
Stassi starred on the now defunct reality show "Queen Bees" which aired for one season on The N and was hosted by former America's Next Top Model winner Yoanna House!
CONTINUE READING FOR A VIDEO OF STASSI ON QUEEN BEES!
This is the song divorce that doesn't end…yes it goes on and on my friends! Show of hands, who thought Bethenny Frankel and Jason Hoppy's divorce proceedings would go as smoothly as they both initially promised? Yeah, that's what I thought.
The battle for Bryn is now amping up as both Bethenny and Jason have filed for primary custody. Jason seems to want more stability for his young daughter, while the reality star/talk show host wants mommy-daughter bonding to occur while flitting around the world. Hmmm…middle ground shouldn't be too hard to find with these two. #goodluckhoppyyouregoingtoneedit