Reality Tea

jim marchese brings hurricane jim on the rhonj florida trip

Last night Hurricane Jim hit the shores of Florida (well Boca anyway) and he destroyed all Real Housewives Of New Jersey stars in his wake. Teresa Giudice must have had advance notice that dirty secrets were going to be strewn far and wide which is why she stayed home to color pitchurs, mispronounce her own last name, and respond to texes. 

Things started out innocently enough. The Florida division of the RHONJ ladies went swampin’ in their most appropriate of appropriate boat shoes: high heels. Those twins – they sure know how to work a look. #sarcasm On the gator farm, Dina Manzo meets her future pet soulmate: a tailless baby alligator whom she smuggles into her purse and clutches for zen-renity (zen serenity) throughout the night’s escapades.

It is well known that Dina is psychic she feels something is about to rock this boat. And Dina has a little inkling its last name is “Marchese” and it has to do with this little secret she was tasked with guarding and protecting. As the group was about to find out, the gators were the least dangerous thing they were to encounter in Florida. 

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wwhl

Last night’s episode of Watch What Happens Live was slipped in on the end of the new Real Housewives of New Jersey episode – the one we all thought would be 90 minutes.  Annoying.  But anyway!   Jacqueline Laurita was on along with Rita Wilson and it was a pretty low-key episode.  Jacqueline shared some updates on Nick and says he’s doing good and progressing well.  The only thing Jacs shared about the show in general was her friendship status with Teresa Giudice

When Andy asked Jacs how she felt hearing/seeing Teresa saying that she could no longer trust her, she replied, “It wasn’t a surprise because I think I figured it out after we were done taping and we didn’t hang out afterwards.  We both had agreed in Arizona that we were going to put our difference aside and we had a choice to either move on with the friendship or we leave it as acquaintances or whatever.  We made a pact that we were going to move forward in the friendship and rebuild that and I kept my end and she didn’t.” 

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Shopping sprees abound on this week’s episode of The Real Housewives of Melbourne!!! Janet Roach and Chyka Keebaugh head out to pick up a few cocktail dresses and cha-ching! Their personal stylists have it the jackpot. As they add dress after dress, each one about $2K each, I’m getting majorly jealous – I don’t even wear anything that needs to be dry cleaned these days, let alone a magenta pink Swarovski dress. Meanwhile, Gina Liano meets up with Melbourne’s version of Patti Stanger and is looking for a new man in her life.  Gina does meet the criteria of a millionairess so we’ll see how that goes later on.

Ugh, I’m starting loathe the Lydia scenes.  We’re now in Lydia Schiavello’s kitchen as she is strangely oohing and ahhing over her maid, Joanna’s peeling technique of vegetables.  Lydia actually has the audacity to say that since she’s had hired help for the past 20 years, she’s forgot how to clean. Say what??!! Just stop Lydia. Lydia found Joanna on the street in front of her house a few years ago and now they are best buds. Joanna also picks out Lydia clothes because Lydia has no idea where anything is.  Huh? I don’t think Joanna is her best friend in the sense you and I have best friends. I think Joanna is her best hired helper. That seems more up Lydia’s alley. 

Kanye West and Kim Kardashian out in Paris

Kim Kardashian and Kanye West are still attending Paris Fashion Week shows and bringing along their favorite accessory – their daughter North.  Their latest shenanigans and outfits at the Givenchy show, where Nori sat front row again and looked very unhappy about it, leaves us speechless. 

 Check out the photos below

 rhom4

After some internet/cable snafus with my new house, the Real Housewives Of Melbourne recaps have returned! So I’m catching up from the last couple of weeks.  Bear with me people. 

Lydia Schiavello is paying a visit with her old girlfriend, Lisa. Lydia spilled the beans about the crazo beach weekend with the ladies.  Lisa has been depraving herself of carbs since in utero and now is busy running her company while her husband retires. Lydia absolutely cannot imagine going to work full-time while her husband, Andrew stays home. The thought of it!! While Lisa discusses with Lydia about her intensely stressful week (raising capital, running the company, etc.), Lydia chimes in with, “Well, as long so you stay sexy for your husband”.  Huh? Wha??? Lisa is all, “It was so nice to see you and I just don’t have any friends like you!” (Backhanded compliment). Lydia is an idiot.
 

rhonj in florida - amber, melissa, jim

Last week on Real Housewives Of New Jersey things were tame in Florida, but tonight as Amber and Jim Marchese embark upon the sunshine state to confront Teressssa Aprea and Nicole Napolitano!

Teresa Giudice, likely on the advice of her crisis PR manager, wisely stayed home leaving Dina Manzo in charge of an explosive secret that will tear the cast apart. 

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NeNe Leakes

It’s been a wild week for reality TV news. The most shocking piece of news from this week, IMHO, is that NeNe Leakes is being considered as a replacement for Joan Rivers on Fashion Police. <putting on my flame resistant suit> My brain cannot even process how terrible and ridiculous this sounds. <flame away>

Other random news: Erica Mena got engaged to Bow Wow, we spied Madison Hildebrand on the Million Dollar Listing LA mid-season trailer, Dina Manzo needed therapy after the RHONJ trip, we learned reality TV cameras can make everything better, and Nicole ‘Snooki’ Polizzi gave birth to her second child

PHOTOS

Hip Hop Awards, Perez Hilton party, and more

Kim introduces North to Paris Fashion Week

Sneak peek of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Jenni Pulos introduces Alianna to Disneyland

Some days I think Kanye & Kim are punking us

RECAPS

Season three finale of Don’t Be Tardy

Dancers compete for solos on Dance Moms

Yung Berg explores his options on L&HHH

Sheree confronts Tameka on Atlanta Exes

Tyga shows up on Million Dollar Listing LA

Real Housewives of New Jersey off to Boca

REALITY NEWS

Reid and Aviva Drescher off to Marriage Boot Camp

Did Big Ang attack Renee while filming Mob Wives?

Farrah Abraham says God wants her to be a stripper

Melissa Gorga’s car dealer shut down for shady deals

Never a dull moment for Kanye and Kim Kardashian

CBS promises us two more summers of Big Brother

Mike ‘The Situation’ Sorrentino indicted for tax fraud

Are Mama June and Sugar Bear fake breaking up?

Bethenny Frankel admits to getting Aviva on RHONY

Amber Marchese thinks the ‘mass hysteria’ is comical

Photo Credit: Judy Eddy/WENN.com

Reminder: Reality Tea Commenting Do’s and Dont’s

lil-scrappy-sunglasses

Bless is little hizz-nigh-eeee-art. You didn’t think that Lil’ Scrappy of the infamous Love & Hip Hop Atlanta went into hibernation between the volatile seasons of the hit show, now did you? Even after that bout of insanity labeled as a three part reunion special, Scrappy is still a man about town in the ATL.

My favorite butcher of the English language was walking the red carpet at last week’s BET Hip Hop Awards with daughter Imani, and he felt compelled to dish-nigh-zeezee on what’s going on in his life while the shiz-nigh-ow is on hiatus. In case you were wondering, Queen Momma Dee is keeping busy as well…working on her music. It’s the gift that keeps on giving, for sure.

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