Reality Tea

Kim Zolciak

There’s a lot of good TV on tonight – Dancing with the Stars, Real Housewives of Orange County, and Ladies of London, oh my! Thank goodness for the DVR! – but Kim Zolciak‘s debut on Dancing with the Stars is my top priority tonight. And I assume the live TV seven second delay will be ABC‘s #1 priority.

While Kim‘s #$@%! mouth will keep ABC busy Monday nights, Tony Dovolani has been tasked with trying to keep the Don’t Be Tardy star on her toes (well, anywhere but on her ass, eating pizza and drinking wine).

Tony said he’s happy with Kim so far, adding, “She’s got a great attitude. Just getting to meet her was a pleasure because in watching her show over all these years, you kind of have an idea of what this person is. And then you meet them and you go, ‘Oh, OK, hold on they’re different,’ or, ‘They’re the same.’ And in this particular case, she is exactly what she’s like on TV. And that’s pretty cool.”

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 teresa giudice shore house

It’s here!  Our first look at the three part prison special, The Real Housewives of New Jersey: Teresa Checks In.   Bravo released the first trailer featuring Joe Giudice and his four daughters, Teresa Giudice via prison calls, and the Gorga family

From looking at the video, we’ll get a glimpse into how Teresa has helped to keep her household running from prison while Joe does the heavy lifting in person.  Joe has his hands full with four busy girls, but it looks like he’s gotten some family support from his in-laws, Joe and Melissa Gorga.

Lauren Manzo Bridal Shower

The countdown to Lauren Manzo‘s wedding is on. And it’s bridal shower day on Manzo’d With Children

Caroline Manzo is hosting Lauren’s shower at Casa de Smothers because no Manzo ever, like ever, leaves that house. Seriously it is the black hole of adulthood. Their family motto is probably “We Fail To Launch Here!”

Ever since Lauren first got a salami-scented whiff of Vito wafting from across Albie’s dorm room, Caroline has been buying vintage tea cups on Etsy. For whatever reason they’re hot glue gunning tea cups to saucers and hanging them from chandeliers and floating them across the pool in parasols to create a tea party theme. 110 people are attending. Dina Manzo was invited, but is in California. Sadly, the grinning face of Greggy Bennett will not be appearing. Or so we’re led to believe…

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dont be tardy kroy kim

Last night’s Don’t Be Tardy was a plethora of lessons on family, vocabulary, and just how insane Tracey the chef may actually be. Kim Zolciak-Biermann doesn’t want her children to ever leave home. She’s distraught at Ariana’s plotting to fly the coop as soon as possible–who will watch KJ, Kash, and the twins? Kroy spends the episode basking in Tracey’s praise and chugging the champagne of beers. It’s like Norman Rockwell threw up all over this family. 🙂 

Ariana is a built-in baby-sitter for her younger siblings, while Kim, Kroy and Tracey joke around in the kitchen. Ariana gripes that sister Brielle uses the youngest kids for nothing but selfie props. Tracey is in love with Kroy in a heterosexual homophobic just like you love your favorite neighbor way. She thinks he’s just the best guy, and she wishes her girlfriend of ten years could be more like him. Kim questions Tracey about her relationship with Brooklyn, and Tracey admits they argues a lot. Brooklyn isn’t passive and go-with-the-flow like the perfect Kroy, and Tracey spends too much time playing games on her phone to make an effort. It’s not Tracey’s fault she was couldn’t pay attention at the euthanasia party for Brooklyn’s cat…she was crushing candy!

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Kim Richards Xanax

Another day, another not so VAVOOMSHABANG update on Kim Richards.

Last week, the former Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star took to Twitter to declare herself sober, then she reportedly dedicated the next several days to trying to score Xanax from smoke shops in Sherman Oaks. Kim was relentless in her quest, too, going from one shop right to the next and hitting up the same store more than once. That must have caused 100% pain with a foot injury.

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Arnold Schwarzenegger visit Francois Hollande in Paris

Hasta La Vista, Donald Trump – You’re Fired!  NBC has officially named Donald’s replacement as Celebrity Apprentice host: actor and former California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger

The announcement was made this morning that going forward, Arnold is the head honcho in the boardroom.   He’ll take over on the 2016-2017 season of the show. 

sister wives robyn kody meri

Someone’s gotten a bit of a haircut! Sister Wives returned last night with a vengeance. Kody Brown excites with his fresh trim–it’s so subtle that only one as obsessed with his mane as I am might notice the glorious new style, but it’s fresh.

Leading up to the new season, the participation of Meri has been questioned, but I think last night’s premiere solidifies that she’s pretty much here to stay…although we didn’t see much of Christine. Janelle looks amazing, but I am waiting for her exodus. Go girl. As for Robyn? She’s already relishing her role as Kody’s real wife, although it’s purely on paper. That said, I made my friend Trey watch with me, and asked his thoughts after the episode ended. “Girl, if we had to take a shot every time that guy with bad hair and the denim suit said ‘paperwork,’ we’d both be dead.” And he’d be right. 

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GettyImages-487885002

Filming for The Real Housewives of Melbourne season 3 kicked off earlier this summer and they’re now (finally!) revealing the official cast. 

Rumors have been flying since July, speculating who the new cast members would be and it turns out that none of the initial rumors (Lisa Tonkin, Susannah Fairley) were true.  Original cast members Jackie Gillies, Janet Roach, Gina Liano, and Chyka Keebaugh will be joined by last year’s additions Gamble Breaux and Pettifleur Berenger.  And the new cast member for season 3 is going to be Susie McLean