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Teen Mom is back, y'all, and it's just as depressing as ever. 

Last week on Teen Mom 3 – aka Teen Baby Daddy DramaMackenzie Douthit failed to notice Josh McKee's obvious lack of interest, and Alex Sekella screamed at Matt McCann incessantly.

Also, Katie Yeager accepted Joey Maes's marriage proposal, and Briana DeJesus took legal action against Devoin Austin for cyber bullying.

Oh, and if you turned your TV at just the right angle and closed one eye, you saw the Teen Moms caring for their precious babies almost as passionately as they begged their boyfriends to love them. This week: rinse and repeat. 

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Poor Ramona Rizzo just can't get a reality TV break! First, no one likes her on Mob Wives and her storyline is ummm…love/hating Drita D'avanzo? Then she gets engaged and her fiance, Joseph Scalfinia, gets locked up for 15 years!

And then, just when she finds a reason to make her TV life interesting and allegedly decides to hold a furlough wedding the feds get wind of her intentions and call the whole thing off. So poof! – no storyline for you, Ramona. So that's life in Ramona-land. 

Prosecutors in Joseph's case feared that he was planning to use a furlough – purportedly to see his dying father – as an excuse to get married to Ramona in front of reality TV cameras. The feds pointed out that the "shotgun wedding" was not only illegal but they believed it was a ploy for a television show. You mean these two lovebirds aren't maaaadly in love?! Wha… 

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Lil' Scrappy is notorious for his bad behavior on and off Love & Hip Hop Atlanta. Lately the star's life has been nothing but drama.

In a new interview with Dallas' 97.9 The Beat Studio, Scrappy confronts rumors that he was fired from L&HH and reveals that his latest arrest was cause he was defending his girlfriend. Modern romance, baby. I will so totally brawl in front of the nacho cheese dip dispenser for you! 

On getting arrested recently for fighting in a gas station with former friend Kenny Rogers, Scrappy insists he is not to blame! "Somebody I know – he got real disrespectful. I told him, 'I'm on probation, I can't be doing all this.' He done said the wrong thing to me a couple times – and other occasions as well – so it was really backed up," Scrappy explains. 

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So, third time's the charm for Tamra Barney?  I guess she'll be the judge…literally!  Last night was the first installment of Tamra's OC Wedding limited series, and Eddie better hope his recent legal woes don't break the bank…because Tamra's wedding is definitely going to leave a mark on his account!  Three dresses, a wild bachelor party, and drama galore later, we know that Tami and Ed do make it down the aisle.

It's been Tamra's dream to get married at the St. Regis, and a cancellation is about to make that happen.  Tamra has enlisted celebrity wedding planner Diane Valentine. She did Usher's wedding, y'all!  As they tour the venue with Diane and her man of honor, Tamra is beyond ready for her big day.

Back at the couple's gym, Eddie is channeling his inner Shaun T.  Tamra reveals that they have an opening at the St. Regis…in five weeks.  Eddie can't understand why they need a giant production after they've both already been married.  Tamra whines that she's never had a big wedding, and she deserves it!  After all, she's already practiced twice.

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When we last left the ladies of Basketball Wives, Tami Roman had enlisted Suzie Ketcham to do her bidding in breaking down new girl Tasha Marbury while she sipped on her lukewarm Bud Lite and hoped for crazy drama  As last night's episode began, Evelyn Lozada and Shaunie O'Neal avert their eyes as Suzie questions Tasha about her husband's rumored affair.  Instead of getting defensive or starting to scream and throw things, Tasha calmly says that yes, it did happen, and she's not going to lie about it.  She stays classy and keeps her cool.  Remind me again why she's on this show?

Tami then has the nerve to tell Tasha that she can't believe how rude Suzie was to ask the question.  Tasha knows that it comes with the lifestyle, and Tami is shocked to learn that Tasha and Stephon did pay off the mistress.  Evelyn is just happy that her friend was able to keep the energy from going to that negative place the ladies are so used to going.

The following day, Evelyn and Suzie are cruising the Hudson and discussing the dinner's events.  Suzie admits that she felt badly for rehashing Tasha's marital issues, and she wants to clear the air with the new girl in hopes of forging a new friendship.  In Central Park, Tami and Shaunie are also discussing the evening.  Tami learned from Tasha that Shaunie and Evelyn told her that things could go really badly with Tami at their initial meeting.  Tami confronts her friend about painting her in a negative light. While Shaunie understands where Tami is coming from, she still stands by her statement.  After all, the women got along didn't they?

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Kathy Wakile had a breakthrough this week with Cowboy Wyatt, sharing how much she keeps things bottled up instead of letting on that she's bothered.  This week in her blog, she definitely doesn't keep her feelings under wraps!  I think this is one of my favorite blogs that Kathy has shared!

Kathy kicks off her Real Housewives of New Jersey blog with a bit of shady snark – she gets two points from me!  Kathy writes, "Heading into this week's show, the journey to find balance continues. How do you think we're doing so far? Some of us were really receptive to finding more about ourselves and some not so much (as usual)."

About horse therapy, she slams the cast mates who weren't being authentic.  (cough **Terlissa** cough).  "As you'll see, the effin horse proved to be smarter than all of us! He was smart enough to feel each of our energies and call B.S. on those that were not being authentic and were still holding back…letting your guard down is the first step of making progress." 

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Three things you need to know about the Real Housewives of Miami:

1) They do not know the definition of the word "hypocrite" (I think this is a trait that expands across all Housewives domains). 

2) They don't understand "good manners" (Minding your Ps & Qs is not a Housewives forte).

3) They are baaaad actresses! 

With that being said, let's dive into this nonsense and rip apart the episode. It all begins with Joanna Krupa dry humping Romain Zago in front of their braaaand neeeeew rented swimming pool! 

Romain is on a mission to surprise Joanna left and right on Bravo's dime for a storyline. I mean Joanna needs to serve some purpose on this show besides looking amazing and hating Adriana de Moura, right?! First Romain surprised her with a car and now a new house he rented for them to live in as husband and wife.

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