You have to love what constitutes a star these days…especially in the eyes of ABC execs when they are casting Dancing with the Stars. You can't really blame them though…whenLindsay Lohan turns down the show, it may be time to call it quits.
As always, rumors are swirling about who may foxtrotting across the ballroom. Some of the names being tossed around are more believable than others, and some would be pure television gold if the gossip proves to be true. Likewise, the speculation is often more exciting than the dancing itself. ABC's Bachelorette darling Emily Maynard's name has been thrown into the mix, as well as Here Comes Honey Boo Boo matriarch June Shannon. How amazing would that be?
Well if ever there was a reason to recklessly abandon tea and convert to coffee, last night's episode of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills was it! Does tea just bring out the worst behavior in everyone – or is that wine? Or is it actually just that 3/4 of the people on this show are hideous specimens of humanity?
So Lisa Vanderpump tried to make amends last night. She took all her fancy British etiquette and tried to apply it to unscrupulous famewhores. Logic fail! She began with Splits Richards, whom Lisa had always believed to be a fun person, a friend, but underneath all Kyle's layers of caftans and hair lie a woman possessed. Possessed with the desire to be important and relevant – and most importantly famous. Enter Reality TV.
Then Lisa tried with Adrienne Maloof who was let out of the cryogenic freezer before her face fully thawed to socialize with the ladies. Adrienne's equally unappealing friend (and Kyle's Doppelganger) Faye Resnick was also hauled out for the unappetizing occasion. More on that thoughtless and repulsive decision later.
While the wilderness races in Montana and the polar bear plunges in Canada were a ton of fun, Sean Lowe is looking forward to spending the next week in the beautiful St. Croix. Hopefully, a warmer climate means Tierra LiCausi might make it through one week without catching hypothermia or suffering a similar major medical drama. My luck… Tierra will get attacked by a shark… Sean will give her another pity rose.
Even in paradise Tierra complains within minutes. She isn't happy about the shared sleeping arrangements and rolls a cot into a sitting room, saying, "I'm not about to share some room with girls I don't care for. I'm not friends with girls who like my boyfriends. I think it's just better for me to have my own private space." Later, Lesley quips, "I want to roll away her rollaway into the freaking ocean." Amen.
Now Tierra is whining about how she hasn't had a one-on-one date with Sean even though he's "crazy" about her. News Flash: Sean is crazy about all of the girls! Tierra thinks she should be Sean's highest priority at this point; however, AshLee scores the first date. A bitter Tierra refers to AshLee as a cougar. AshLee is only 32 years old, mind you, and Tierra is obviously an immature 24-year-old bitch.
Just because Kim Kardashian and Kanye West have announced that their baby won't be making its debut courtesy of E!, don't expect that to mean they want little Kimye, Jr. to have some semblance of a normal life. I'm embarrassed to say that I fell under that fallacy (just a tad, tiny, wee bit…).
Don't get me wrong. When a couple spends countless hours and photo ops trying to recreate their own version of a famous statute of Jesus (please click here and take note of how unimpressed the bystanders seem!), I am not expecting their kid to attend public school and play rec soccer at the local YMCA. However, in light of today's Kimye gossip, the child won't have time to play soccer/t-ball/ultimate frisbee because he or she will be spending the majority of time jetting back and forth across the globe to multiple houses. Oh, excuse me. Mansions.
It's that special time of the season we've been waiting on for what seems like eons…the season finale of Teen Mom 2. Last night, the girls and their children/parents/boyfriends/users sat down for a two hour chit chat with MTV's resident "therapist" Dr. Drew Pinsky. Wait…what's that you say? It wasn't the season finale? Mid-season finale? What the–? I have never heard of such a thing. You know what this means, right?
Of course, leave it to MTV to make sure the true finale will be total chaos. Next week the insanity of broken relationships, drug abuse, and violence spirals out of control when we are treated to the midseason premiere. I can't keep up, so let's just focus on last night's drama, shall we? Take it away, Dr. Drew!
Tonight Lisa Vanderpump will finally sit Splits Richards down and explain a little thing called friendship to her. It goes like this: have friend, be loyal. Have friend: defend her in unpleasant situations. Have friend: do not plan to conspiratorially gang-up on her during a Real Housewives of Beverly HIlls reunion. I hope Splits gets it.
With their crumbling friendship finally being addressed on last week's episode and Lisa wondering why on earth Kyle is willing to defend everyone else (like her nemesis Adrienne Maloof), but never her, both ladies took to their Bravo blogs to share.
"I don't agree with Kyle's interpretation of the conversation 'Lisa and Camille [Grammer] got into it.' Umm no we didn't. Camille threw unwarranted accusations out of nowhere, stating that I was just the face of my business. . .," LIsa begins.
Well, I didn't see this one coming! The producers of VH1's Love & Hip Hop can breathe (a little) easier now that one of this season's stars has been cleared of child molestation charges. On the show, Yandy Smith's boyfriend Mendeecees Harris comes across as a harmless, if not totally clueless, guy who wishes he had more street cred than he does. It makes sense that fans of the show were floored when horrific allegations were made against him.
Mendeecees' name has been cleared, and he is no longer facing decades in prison. I am glad that precious baby Amir won't have to grow up without his father. Now, if only he could beat those drug charges…