Reality Tea

teresa-giudice-full

Real Housewives of New Jersey's Teresa Giudice is a lot of things…she's a wife, a mother, a daughter, a sister (well, some days), a best selling cookbook author, a fashionista, and cocktail maven.  But I bet you didn't know she's a comedienne as well!

In her Bravo blog posted today, Teresa discusses how difficult it is to have her entire family turn against her, but in doing so, she makes a hilarious play on Fifty Shades of Grey all while doing what she does best (and I'm not being sarcastic here, for once)–self promotion!  The woman can hock her wares like no other, and I wish I had her gumption (although that's about all I'd wish to have from Tre).

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Have you heard? Princesses: Long Island star Chanel "Coco" Omari is 27 years old and not married. I repeat – NOT married. Broken. So sad. Disgrace to Longuyland. Tune in next week to see Chanel's public stoning. Obviously, I kid (at least I hope) about the stoning, but is this pity party for real?

Chanel's younger sister, Ashley, is engaged to be married, and poor broken Chanel doesn't even have a boyfriend. The hits keep coming when Chanel helps shop for Ashley's bridal gown. At the dress shop, Mom introduces Ashley, the bride, and Chanel, the sister, and the shop clerk asks if Chanel is the "little sister" as if it's relevant and/or any of her business. After a brief moment of silence, Chanel reveals that she's actually the older sister, and then the store clerk buys the first ticket to Chanel's stoning. 

Just for kicks – Ashley insists that Chanel try on a wedding gown. Mom prays, "God willing, Chanel will meet someone," and Chanel weeps. "Sometimes I just want to be normal like everyone else and do the same things like everyone else is doing," she cries. "It's really difficult when you feel like you're always on a different page." 

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jwoww-vegas (8)

JWoww spent her weekend in Las Vegas showing off her bikini body.  The Snooki & JWoww star played hostess at two events – both involving swimsuits that showed off her assets, of course. 

First Jenni hosted the second round of preliminary eliminations for the Rehab Bikini Invitational 2013 at the Hard Rock cafe. 

Later she headed over to the Encore Beach Club in Encore at Wynn Las Vegas to host a pool party – wearing a teeny bikini with white hearts and pink lace. That night the former Jersey Shore star and her friends partied it up at at Surrender Nightclub. 

We have the photos from JWoww's big weekend below!

TELL US – WHICH SWIMSUIT IS THE BETTER LOOK FOR JWOWW?

CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR THE PHOTOS

teresa-giudice-heather-maclean

Teresa Giudice's friend and co-author Heather Maclean has become the "invisible Housewife" on Real Housewives of New Jersey. And since Twitter really is the 6th castmember on this show, Heather has taken to tweeting the show and revealing some of the producer machinations that happen behind the scenes. Yummy! I guess after the Posche Fashion Show debacle everyone has learned their lesson to cover their bases! 

Last night Heather commented on Teresa allegedly sitting by while Jan trashed Melissa Gorga and accused her of cheating on Poison with her ex-boyfriend. Well, Heather says that what viewers saw was edited to make Teresa look guilty and involved in the setup, when in actuality she left the table! Isn't that always Teresa's MO?

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A Night Under The Stars Benefiting Juvenile Diabetes Research

Oh Kim D… it's no secret that I love your scheming, drama-starting ways. And I especially admire the way you willingly play the villain – and you do it well! 

Since Bravo is afraid to give Kim D her own Real Housewives of New Jersey blog she's started one of her own. In Kim D's latest uncensored behind-the-scenes missive she spills the dirt on why Teresa Giudice was congregating with Penny and Jan. And shares her feelings on 'Friends of the Housewives' upstart Jennifer Dalton.

"After this episode, you will clearly see that I have obviously been established as 'the villain' of the season," Kim hints. "I’ll own it proudly! After all, things do just fall into my lap!  [;)] " Anything for fame right, Kimmie BePosched?

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The 85th Annual Oscars at Hollywood & Highland Center

 

Photo Credit: Apega/Wenn.com

rhonj-recap

Oh Real Housewives of New Jersey. I just don't know what to do with you. Like ever. Last night Melissa Gorga was officially accused of cheating by a former BFF who now doesn't like her. And since this is RHONJ some heavy betrayal was involved. Does anyone like Melissa in NJ? What did this girl do to make so many enemies? Did she give a lot of people unwanted sprinkle cookies? 

Anyway, there was also talk of a retreat. I need a retreat from this show – am I invited?

Things begin with Wallpaper Wakile having a meeting of the minds in her brand new test kitchen. She's got her mixer all set up in one corner and the entire vast remainder of the industrial kitchen sits unused and empty. Pretty soon Kathy is going to start moving her bed, her dresser, all her clothes, etc in because if there's one things she's realized about ol' test kitchen – it's a great retreat from Richie. And one long overdue.

And speaking of retreats from hubbies, here comes Caroline Manzo. Is Al in the same country as her anymore? Caroline, Jacqueline Laurita, and Rosie the Rampager are meeting to talk about Rosie's big meet-n-drink with Teresa Giudice. Rosie reveals that the pounding on the table severely bruised the cartilage in her hand. Rosie needs serious help. Gross. 

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Markus + Indrani Icons Book Launch Party in Los Angeles

Courtney Stodden and Doug Hutchison took their creepy to new levels this weekend.  Courtney proved that she is dying to show off her new boobs to anyone who can't manage to look away from the trainwreck.  The former Couples Therapy stars stepped out to attend Plastic Martyr's birthday bash, with Courtney wearing almost nothing but her birthday suit.

Courtney was dressed in a black see-through mesh getup – featuring pretty much just a pair of zippered undies and some pasties covering her nipples.  Doug was sporting some major eyeliner. Class acts, as always. 

I put the photos and video under the break to give you the option of clicking or not – because you cannot unsee it, trust me!

TELL US – HOW WOULD YOU CAPTION COURTNEY'S PHOTOS?

CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON AT YOUR OWN RISK!  YOU'VE BEEN WARNED!!

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