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We've got a situation here!  I have to thank Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino for making that his catchphrase.  It just makes blogging life easier.  This time around, the Jersey Shore star is not only battling sobriety, but also a vodka company.  If it were anyone other than Mike, I'd say they would likely chuckle at the irony. 

Mike is suing Devotion Spirits, a company with which he penned an endorsement deal in 2010 (long before heading to rehab for addiction issues).  The Situation claims that he maintained his end of the bargain, promoting the protein-infused vodka (yes, you read that correctly…protein-infused.  It's alright to gag.  I did.) and making the brand the success it is today.  While I've never heard of it, I'm not surprised.  I prefer to get my protein from some fancy scrambled eggs not my vodka tonic. 

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Kody Brown and his Sister Wives are back, and the family seems to be feeling the strain of their Las Vegas move even more intensely than last season.  Even Kody's once fluffy, blonde mane is now straw-like with a dishwater hue.  Oh, the hairmanity!  Seriously, if I'm going to watch a show about a polygamist (and I do like watching, don't get me wrong), couldn't TLC have found one a little more Bradley Cooper and a little less Harry from Dumb and Dumber?

The family remembers how difficult the transition to Las Vegas was, especially for the older children.  There is definite tension on the sofa, that's for sure.  All of the wives blame being separated on the break down of their family unit.  The family is still trying to secure financing for their cul-de-sac village.  Christine is concerned that Robyn and Janelle's credit won't allow them to qualify for a loan.  If one of them can't get their home, no one will be able to move forward.

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Tonight Real Housewives of Atlanta fans will get to meet new Housewife (and Kim Zolciak replacement) Porsha Stewart. While it's not clear when exactly ol' Wigs McGee will exit stage left, one thing's for sure – Porsha arrives tonight and she's coming out with a bang as she goes to battle with fellow newbie Kenya Moore!

Speaking with Atlanta Constitution Journal, Porsha shares how she would like viewers to perceive her and what she thinks of her new co-workers. 

“I’m happy to show who I really am. I’m big on respect. If I feel disrespected, I will explain to you what you did. I speak my opinion. I’m outspoken. I am not the one talking about you behind your back. I will say it to your face," Porsha explains of her people-management style.

"I can seem a little harsh but it comes from a good place. At the end of the day, you may love me or hate me or love to hate me,” she warns.

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It's been said that in life only two things are certain–death and taxes.  Well, dear readers, I'd like to think y'all would agree with me if I tweaked that saying just a bit.  In the reality world, the only two things that are certain have to be Kris Jenner creating rumors about her family in order to stay relevant and Kim Kardashian talking when she should just smile, look plastic pretty, and wear heinous tiny rapper inspired outfits.  Am I right or am I right?  Of course death, taxes, and all that jazz come into play as well…although have we seen any Kardashian 1099s?

Where to start, where to start?  Should I lead with Kim's unfortunate but likely well-intended Twitter posts or Kris speaking out about the gossip she planted about her marriage?  It's quite the conundrum.  Thank goodness I've got a glass of pinot noir and a Ducky Dynasty marathon to soothe my Kardashian-riddled nerves.  Join me, won't you?

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Our favorite reality TV stars can’t get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to Twitter to share even more of their daily lives with us. And we love them for it! Here’s a roundup of some of our favorite photos from the Twitterverse this week! Enjoy!
 
Above: Snooki and Joey day!!
 
Below you’ll find Twitter pics from Big AngLilly GhalichiMaci BookoutNeNe Leakes, Ramona Singer, Shayne LamasTaylor Armstrong, and more.
 
 
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Melissa Gorga is doing her Bravo duty and pole dancing for the network like a good little devotee.

Amid rumors that Caroline Manzo and Kathy Wakile are not returning for season 5 of Real Housewives of New Jersey, Melissa spoke out to In Touch Weekly insisting those rumors are simply not true! Gotta keep the fans guessing to keep controversy and interest alive, right?

"Caroline is returning,” Melissa says. “Okay, there you go. Caroline is back and so is Kathy." 

Just this week a flood of rumors started emerging that Caroline and Kathy were leaving in order to be replaced by friends of Teresa Giudice. Also possibly making a return is former supervillian Danielle Staub.

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I have an unhealthy obsession with Simon Cowell and I love The X Factor.  #confessiontime That said… the live shows are a hot mess!
 
Do you agree? Am I the only one watching? I can live with that. 
 
For the sake of this rant, let's pretend that Khloe Kardashian and Mario Lopez do not exist. (You don't even want to get me started on Khloe's hosting skills.) Today, I'm upset with the producers and the mentors, Demi Lovato, L.A. Reid, Britney Spears, and (even my precious) Simon
 
Beatrice Miller, one of my favorite contestants, seems to be one of the few on The X Factor with any freaking sense, and she isn't afraid to speak her mind. (unrelated but interesting sidenote: she's the voice of Molly in Toy Story 3) Did I mention that she's only 13 years old? Love this girl! Beatrice had a lot to say after this week's disastrous "divas" show. 
 
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I think we all learned a good lesson on Real Housewives of Miami last night. Thomas Kramer's house is no place for Housewives of any strife, location, or wig-wearing persuasion. 

The creepy, weird older guy who hosted the ladies of Atlanta on an unforgettable girls weekend two seasons ago, once again did Housewives no favors by hosting the ladies of Miami for an atrocious dinner party where the lest desirable thing at the table was Thomas himself. Look dude, if you think telling an 80-year-old woman to sit down and shut-up because she's nearing her expiration date is going to get you a reality show, you're mistaken. 

Things begin at Lea Black's house with Mama Elsa and a case of missing mozzarella. Apparently Mama Elsa wants Lea and Marysol Patton to make up, but Lea has a conflict of interest – or two. One of them is 8 foot tall drag queen in a 40" wide wig named Elaine Lancaster. And the other is that essentially that The Patton Group screwed up The Black Gala two years in a row and there was nary an apology in sight. 

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