I'm going to be totally honest with y'all…every time I'm assigned a Real Housewives of Atlanta post which involves NeNe Leakes and Kim Zolciak I hear NeNe's voice in my head screaming variations of "Keep your legs closed to married men" and "WIG!" the entire time I'm typing. It's equal parts awesome and a tad crazy. It's like I have NeNe Tourettes.
We all know that the once besties turned frenemies turned mortal nemeses (Looky there! I just learned the plural of nemesis…informative and educational!) have been going back and forth about the real reason Kim allegedly leaves the show mid-season. There's even a Twitter battle immortalized on the Internet where they spewed insults. Kim claims she quit, while NeNe has her on blast for being fired.
Kim counters with her own spin-off in the works (why would Bravo fire her, it basically promoted her?), while the Neenster cites pre-existing contractual obligations regarding said spin-off. Is NeNe going to law school in between filming her reality show, her sitcom The New Normal, and her guest spots on Glee? Kim's new spin-off is set to premiere in April and is creatively titled Don't Be Tardy…does she owe Kandi Burruss royalties for that title?
I don't know about you, but I've been waiting with baited breath for Jackie Christie's line to debut at New York Fashion Week. Can you even fathom the insanity that is going to head down that runway. Well, on last night's Basketball Wives LA, the ladies let it all hang out while working that catwalk. Apparently Jackie's line doesn't include a bra big enough to tame Brooke Bailey's giant chest, so she commandos it down the runway. Laura Govan follows in braless suit, but she's thankfully not about to put out her own eye…or anyone else's. But we'll get to that later…
Draya Michele and Malaysia Pargo are trying on Jackie's fashions for the show. Draya is beyond impressed with Jackie's pieces. Why doesn't she wear these kind of clothes in her real life? Brooke invites the women to a business deal, but she makes sure to get in a dig to Draya about the magazine cover shoot. Draya can't cover up her jealousy. Gloria Govan and Brooke are walking in another show, and Draya, Laura, Jackie, and Malaysia are going to be be supportive. Draya is confused as to why Jackie and Laura are being so buddy-buddy. Jackie wishes that Draya would stop butting into her and Laura's friendship. Laura thinks it's funny that people are concerned about her behavior towards Jackie. Her master plan isn't going to go down at a fashion show where she's supporting actual friends!
Brooke takes the catwalk…or the slim slice of floor not overrun by revelers looking like a poor man's Nicki Minaj. I'm sorry, but that wig is all kinds of unfortunate. Gloria follows suit and she's dressed in the outfit that Hello Kitty would wear if she ever decided to be a construction worker. Backstage, the women are being supportive of the models, but Draya backs out on a dinner celebration to honor Brooke's magazine cover. Draya feels like she's being a good friend by not going to the dinner where she'd be sure to be a pouty Debbie Downer. At Brooke's celebration, the other women wonder about Draya's absence, but Malaysia tries to play devil's advocate on Draya's behalf.
Egads! A post where I actually have to exercise sensitivity…and about Kim Kardashian and her tiny rapper no less! I guess now that it's officially the holiday season, I need to practice more kindness and goodwill, right? Well, here it is.
While we were gorging on leftovers and shopping for major deals, KanyeWest was facing a heartbreaking anniversary…five years since the death of his mother Donda West after plastic surgery gone horribly wrong. Kanye, who has been fiercely protective about his mother's memory, has finally found a woman with whom he wants to share that part of his life. That's a pretty big deal, if you ask me. After the couple spent Thanksgiving with Kim's family, Kanye whisked his lady love to Oklahoma City to introduce her to his mom's family and visit Donda's grave site.
Adrienne Maloof and Brandi Glanville have been at each other's throats since last year's reunion. And things are about to explode staring with tonight's Real Housewives of Beverly Hills episode. The former friends (Adrienne reportedly got Brandi cast for the show!) get into an argument over Adrienne's marital problems.
“Adrienne and Brandi get into a HUGE fight about Adrienne and Paul [Nassif]’s marriage,” an insider dishes to NY Daily News.
Apparently the fight began over Adrienne misrepresenting herself to cameras – including behaving as if her marriage was fine while the entire cast knew things were very rocky between Adrienne and Paul!
“Adrienne has been very controlling about what she allows the cameras to film because she wants to project a certain image of having the perfect life,” the insider explains.
Anybody remember Puck? He was reality TV's original creator of shock and trashiness when he starred on The Real World in the 90's. Well since short-lived fame, Puck's life has fallen apart.
He's been arrested several times, once for a DUI while his child was in the car and another time for allegedly assaulting his wife. Well the former reality star has just landed himself in prison for stalking!
Holy majoley! I wonder how much Shaunie O'Neal pays her minions on Basketball Wives. Former star Royce Reed (who got the ax from the upcoming season) apparently didn't make much, although that makes sense considering Shaunie couldn't stand her anyway.
Royce and her ex-boyfriend are now embroiled in a bitter custody dispute, and she's asked the judge to have her son's father pay her legal fees because she can't afford to play hardball like he can. Of course, her ex is NBA star Dwight Howard who reportedly makes millions each MONTH (!!!), so it's no shocker that her BBW earnings would pale in comparison.
"F*** me now, slave – or I'll spend more of your money on Versace china and wigs!"
Last night's episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta was a lesson in living large, but not necessarily in charge. We spent our last day in Casa de Eviction where the Zolciak-Biermann fam was unceremoniously tossed out, left to the mercies of a generic moving company and schlepping 17,000 square feet of wigs back to Big Poppa's condo. Le sigh. My how the delusions of grandeur have fallen.
Elsewhere Kenya Moore continued to rock crazy like it's a pair of Louboutins. I would say she wears it well, but she doesn't. Instead she comes off looking the girl in foolboutins. I think they sell them at Payless. BOGO bitches!
Things begin at Casa de Eviction, where Kim Zolciak, wig askew, is like freaking out. She's got a whole house to move and one day to do it and no one is helping her. So she storms around ranting and blaming the movers for everything. Sweetie is shockingly the voice of reason as she tries to steer Kim in the direction of focusing on the important things – packing her wigs and makeup. Apparently Sweetie wants to spare us a Kim sans her face.