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Reality Tea is new to Big Rich Texas. Actually, so am I, so please be kind. There are way too many blondes and annoying voices to keep all of the characters straight. And they're all either holding or throwing wine glasses. Good thing the Hollywood Exes aren't the "Dallas Exes"… one little glass throwing incident sent those women into a tailspin. Their heads would explode over here.

Tuning in for the first time, I didn't know what to expect. I did not anticipate using "vagina" and "booger" in the recap title, that's for sure. Big Rich Texas sure knows how to keep it classy up in their fancy community. I also did not expect… I freaking love this show… in a trashy reality TV/guilty pleasure sort of way. Thank you, Reality Tea readers, for being so vocal about this hidden gem. My life will never be the same. Coincidentally, neither will my liver, because I have a feeling the Big Rich Texas shenanigans are much more fun to watch when paired with a glass of wine or a flask of vodka. Let's get this party started, shall we? 

For season three we have Bonnie Blossman, Leslie Birkland, Melissa Poe, Connie DiebDeAynni Hatley, and newcomer Cindy Davis. And, of course, their lovely daughters and borrowed pageant girl. Already this season, the ladies have had a botox party, where Melissa and Leslie fought, a casino party, where Melissa and Leslie fought, and a crab boil, where DeAynni slapped her daughter Shaye Hatley. Apparently, it's not the first time this has happened, either. Also, worth mentioning, Bonnie's daughter Whitney Whatley moved in with her boyfriend Booger and Leslie's been bragging about her never-before-seen billionaire boyfriend Kip.

Episode three starts with Leslie's borrowed pageant girl Kalyn Braun lounging by the pool with Tyler and new-on-the-scene Terry. Terry is a jockey at the ranch where Kalyn dresses like a Texan hooker to shovel horse poop. Maddie obsessively plays with her hair and makes fun of Kalyn's new occupation. Why anyone would leave a cupcake shop for a ranch is beyond me. On the couch, Kalyn says there's one big perk to scooping poop, "On my days off, I get to bring the hot boys to the country club. Job with benefits." 

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Oh the things reality TV stars do for beauty.   Kyle Richards of The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills shared this gem with her Twitter followers over the weekend.  When a follower asked "what ever happened to just moisturizing and growing old?”, Kyle responded with "wasn't cutting it". 

Give us your best captions in the comments below! 

And tell us – what's the craziest thing you've done in the name of beauty?

 

Photo Credit: Kyle's Twitter

Wow! October is a BAAAAD month for Bachelor Nation! Three couples in a row have called it quits on their engagements. The latest is Bachelor Pad 3's surprise couple Blakeley Shea and Tony Pieper!

If you recall Tony proposed to Blakely at the BP3 finale with a $100,000 Neil Lane ring and a tearful Blakeley ecstatically said yes. Blakeley relocated to Portland, OR to live with Tony and his young son and a mere ONE MONTH (that's some Kim Kardashian time!) later the couple has called it quits. 

"Unfortunately, things didn't work as we had hoped," Tony told with Wetpaint. "No one is to blame. It just ended up being a lot harder than we expected. I wish her nothing but the absolute best. She deserves total happiness."

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Brandizzle.  Fo shizzle!  If you thought Dana Wilkey's song $25,000 was the best thing ever, you need to listen to the amazing rap recently bestowed upon our ears by Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' Brandi Glanville.

Brandi, or Brandizzle as she's known on the mean streets, recorded the rap to promote Australian celebrity gossip magazine NW.  She prefaces the rap by revealing, “You guys all know I’m gangster.”  Nothing says "gangster" like a koala knit cap and sunglasses…although not $25,000 shades presumably.  She raps about grilling and dopeness, complete with hand motions that would put Lil' Wayne to shame.  It's nothing short of epic.  Check it out after the jump, but be warned–if this were an actual CD, it would garner a Parent Advisory Warning for the language.  Deuces!

CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON TO SEE BRANDI'S VIDEO!

 

 

Aaaahhh… it wouldn't be a day in reality TV blogging without some Real Housewives of New Jersey gossip. Ever hear of that saying Cher, cockroaches, and spam would survive an apocalypse? I think we need to add our favorite dueling New Jersey sisters-in-law to that list! 

First up, Teresa Giudice says what some have been thinking all along; that Melissa Gorga is using Teresa's name – and their televised feud – to keep herself in the press! After complaining long and hard that Teresa loves the tabloids more than her family and friends, it seems Melissa also has a tabloid love that once unleashed cannot be squashed. Perhaps tabloid interviews are like tattoos (or designer sweaters, in my case) – in that once you get one, you just can't stop!

Melissa has been making the rounds pleading her case and talking up Teresa left and right. In a recent Bravo Blog, Melissa accused her fame hungry sister-in-law of being behind strippergate yet again and cites Teresa's friendship with Kim D as proof. Melissa also accused Teresa of doing appearances with Kim. 

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Well, well… lookee here! She by SheBroke is She by SheNotAsBroke. Hopefully that son of her's will be trading in that air mattress for a real, live mattress. Although, truth be told an air mattress is pretty comfortable. 

So, it would appear that the many years long child support case between Sheree and Bob Whitfield (which was heavily featured in Sheree's final season of Real Housewives of Atlanta) has finally come to an end. TMZ reveals that a judge granted Sheree $75k – and he has 21 days to pay up or else!

According to court documents Bob was remiss for 38 months of child support payments to the tune of $2,142 per month for the two children he shares with Sheree. Bob claimed he was to Bob By HeBroke to afford them, despite being an ex-NFL player (who signed a $30M deal with Falcons in 2000) and something of a music mogul who sold a successful recording studio. 

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Photo Credit: Judy Eddy/WENN

 

Hmmm… either someone is lying or someone has changed her mind about returning to Real Housewives of Orange County

RumorFix is reporting that Alexis Bellino has been filming for the eighth season (which other cast members have claimed is in progress) and that her husband Jim Bellino was spotted at a high-end store asking to "borrow" an expensive purse for the show! 

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