Reality Tea

southern charm craig

A dear, dear lifelong friend (transplanted to Boston but addicted to seeing her state featured on Southern Charm) texted me a “Which Southern Charm Gentleman is Your Soul Mate” (or something to that effect) quiz, stating, “I’ll tell you mine, but ONLY after you tell me yours.” I got Shepard “Shep” Rose (natch), and she hesitantly admitted that her match was Whitney Sudler-Smith’s divinely devilish mother. She lamented, “I think it’s slightly embarrassing that an opinionated lady who loves her medicine is my soul mate. What does that say about me?!?” Um, I’d say it just confirms how amazing my friend is…had I known Ms. Pat was an option, I may have swayed my responses! That said, last night’s episode proves that Whitney and Patricia are just fine playing the villainous upper echelon who take pleasure in looking down (way down!) on their co-stars. She’s like the love child of Julia Sugarbaker and Regina George with her flawless style, biting observations, and ultimate Mean Girl exclusion. 

The show begins with Patricia summoning her butler (the newbie Mr. Belvedere has been busy polishing the silver…I’m glad to see he got the job!) to request glue sticks on his next run to the Publix. She’s compiling scrapbooks for her son as practice for a wedding photo album, but you won’t find these leather, gold-embossed babies on Pinterest, that’s for sure. Patricia opines about Whitney’s young, European reality star girlfriend and their foray into foreign tabloids as she dreams of a couture Valentino for their ceremony. Whitney arrives to complain about the Sandy Duncan from hell who Thomas Ravenel has enlisted to run his campaign. She doesn’t like the Raise the Roof ad, and Patricia is confused by this serf’s taste in low-budget political propaganda. Pat found her son’s vision of a dancing T-Rav to be “brilliant.” The duo laughs at the thought that any ad or manager could get Thomas a seat in the US Senate, as Whitney recaps his fundraiser at Bowen’s Island (Patricia briefly turns into Cher Horowitz…”as if” she’d attend any event off the peninsula!). He relays Kathryn Dennis’ bunny boiler meltdown when she felt condescended to by Whitney. Patricia poo poos the grammar and turns the attention to her diamond studded flats. 

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lea black

This former Real Housewife has been hard at work! Lea Black’s novel, Red Carpets & White Lies, parallels her own life and is a behind-the-scenes exposé of the glitzy Miami social scene! 

Red Carpets & White Lies, the first of the former Real Housewives Of Miami star’s planned trilogy, tells the story of Leigh White, a Miami-socialite, who is known for her fabulous charity balls, which she plans as she navigates drama with friends and pseudo-friends, and Lea’s book gives us all a glimpse at the sometimes very scandalous world of “Miami’s rich and shameless!”

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Bethenny Frankel

I am exhausted just thinking about all the places Bethenny Frankel has been the past few weeks to promote her new relationship advice book and her return to Real Housewives of New York. I couldn’t do it. I just don’t like people that much. #imkidding #umthatsalie #imnotkidding

In a recent interview with All Things Real Housewives, Bethenny dished on her co-stars and shared her thoughts on how Real Housewives of New York has changed since season 3. “I think it had changed in that it was contrived, in my opinion, because it had been on for so long that people who were new would know what to expect and think that’s how to manufacture drama,” she surmised.

Bethenny continued, “Coming back this season felt more like what it used to be like. Not contrived, it felt… it took a minute, I’ll be honest… but I feel like the tone was set to just be real and not be contrived and manufactured. You don’t need to do that, you can be interesting enough.”

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LHH Reunion Jhonni fight

We’ve finally made it to the other side, y’all! Last night was the final installment of the Love & Hip reunion, and if you didn’t think it could get messier than it already was, you were sorely mistaken! Picking up where we left off last week, Nina Parker chides Rich Dollaz about not copping to what happened with Cisco’s ex Diamond Strawberry in the bathroom. As you recall from earlier in the season, Rich was intrigued by Diamond’s brand of crazy, but he promised Cisco he wouldn’t break bro code by going after his leftovers. Nina reminds Rich that the pair forgot to turn off their mics, and she then shares some previously un-aired audio from the encounter…which is pretty raunchy. Rich insists that nothing happened, and Diamond seems embarrassed. Diamond’s mother blames Cisco for making Diamond so vulnerable to be susceptible to Rich’s advances, although she does think her daughter made some bad decisions.

Diamond asserts that her fling with Rich wasn’t rooted in revenge. She was in a fragile state, and she had strong feelings for Rich. Her stalker ways are recapped, which, of course, feeds into Jhonni’s jealous rages. Cisco questions Rich’s intentions, and he can’t believe that his friend would act so shady. Rich does what Rich does, and Jhonni gets angry that Cisco refuses to go off on his friend. Can’t he punch Rich or something? Cisco gives a rousing speech about not becoming the next Stevie J and Benzino. If they’re going to scrap, it will be in private and when finished and they’ll party together like rock stars. He high fives Peter Gunz while representing the original L&HH as Rich laughs in agreement. Who are these people? When asked whether Jhonni posed a threat to her, Diamond quips that she didn’t even know who Jhonni was and assumed she was an extra. Jhonni retorts, “Your daughter is an extra,” which riles up Grandma Strawberry. It takes about fifteen men in suits to pull Jhonni from the stage. Diamond’s mother wishes they’d let her go so she could learn a lesson. Lady, have you watched this season? Jhonni would put a hurting on the elder Strawberry for sure!

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Tori Spelling

Photo Credit: Frazer Harrison/Zuffa LLC

Teen Mom stars Catelynn, Farrah, Amber

Farrah Abraham took time away from studying to be the world’s best surgeon – Not kidding. This is happening. – to walk the red carpet at the MTV Movie Awards last night with Catelynn Lowell and Amber Portwood. I do not know why Maci Bookout did not attend, but my guess is, she was too busy nagging Ryan Edwards to make the trip. 😉

There are more pictures of Catelynn, Farrah, and Amber at the Movie Awards below, but first,  let’s talk more about Farrah’s plans to be a plastic surgeon. It’s been three weeks since the Teen Mom star shocked us with this news, and we’ve been dying for her to gift us with more nonsensical words about her plans ever since. That day has finally come.

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Shahs of Sunset star Asa Soltan Rahmati

Shahs of Sunset and Southern Charm are all new tonight – with a game of dodgeball on one and talk of an intervention on the other.

Tonight on Shahs of Sunset, Asa Soltan Rahmati starts to feel overwhelmed by her needy and/or obnoxious friends. She attempts to help Mike Shouhed reconnect with the group, listens to Reza Farahan‘s relationship problems, and argues with Mercedes “MJ” Javid over highly important stuff like leggings. To “settle the score” and “relieve pent-up tension” the Shahs of Sunset decide to play a game of dodgeball. <eye roll> In the preview clip below, Asa calls out MJ for the ish she started over Reza and Adam’s bachelor parties.

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ARMENIA-US-TELEVISION-KARDASHIAN-ENTERTAINMENT-PEOPLE

Reality star Kim Kardashian is almost done with her pilgrimage overseas.  During her time in Armenia, the Keeping up with the Kardashians star was seen carrying around a cutout of her brother Rob’s face as she filmed for their show.  I get that Rob wasn’t along for the trip, but seriously?  Neither was Kourtney, so I hope Khloe or one of the cousins had a cut out of her face they toted around!  Nothing like a publicity stunt during a “serious” trip.  hahaha.  I almost typed that with a straight face.

Kim and Kanye and Khloe left Armenia a few days earlier than originally planned and headed over to Jerusalem to have North baptized today.  Kim named Khloe as Nori’s godmother. 

Also, Kim must’ve forgotten her bras at home again.  See more pics below.