Reality Tea

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Last night's episode of Real Housewives of Orange County was pretty boring. And by boring I mean tragic. And deafening. Gretchen Rossi tried to sing but she forgot to bring the big, pink plastic handbag holding her autotune with her. Oh the results were more tragic than a Made in Sweatshop plasticine Gretchen Christine handbag. Also plastic her face and now her lips. We'll discuss in a minute…

Moving on to other adventures in RHOC things, are still a mess between Vicki Gunvalson and Brooks. And by a mess I mean Vicki's life and hair are sadly reflecting her inner life. Get a brush and comb things out. Seriously – get a smoothing serum too. And call Dr. V

So let's begin… Gretchen has returned from Whistler and her friendship with Tamra Barney is as frozen and icy as her face. Did I mention her hair doesn't move either but it permanently looks wind swept? How? Mystery of science if I've ever seen one. Let's call Myth Busters! 

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kathy-wakile-white-pants

It's no shock to any of  you that the drama was front and center on last night's Real Housewives of New Jersey when the retreat that Teresa Giudice organized turned into a Joe Boxer situation with Poison Gorga battling brother-in-law Juicy Giudice.  Kathy Wakile has her own take on what's gone down thus far this season, and she's talking to OK about the craziness.

Discussing how it's hard to re-watch the drama after the fact, Kathy explains, "It scratches the surface again and that hurt keeps coming up. It’s hard to watch it because you’re like, ‘Oh my God—that’s what we look like.’ Sometimes it’s about the hurt and not about the actions that make is so bad. And we’ve come so far that you don’t want that to suck you back in."

She adds, "You have to rise above it and say, ‘Okay, I’m glad I’m not there anymore.’ It’s easy to add negativity because you now see what the other party was saying and you can easily start saying things and falling into that trap. You start reliving those patterns so you’re really not in a better place if you allow yourself to do the same things. Then you really haven’t learned anything."

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Speakeasy Moderne cabaret party

When Sonja Morgan isn't performing impromptu burlesque shows and cooking eight-course meals in her handy toaster oven, she is quite the philanthropist.  She has always been very involved with LGBT organizations and AIDS charities, and the Real Housewives of New York star was recently recognized by Inspired New York for her endeavors.

However, it wasn't all do-gooders and kind deeds…some attendees at the event wondered if there could be a romance blooming between Sonja and her co-star Aviva Drescher's ex-husband Harry Dubin.  Of course, both Harry and Aviva (along with Bravo's camera crew) were on hand to support the flighty reality star as she accepted her award.

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Last night's Love & Hip Hop Atlanta had everything you could ask for in a drama…romance, drugs, infidelity, the possibilty of prison, an unexpected proposal, and, of course, boobs.  Lots and lots of boobs.  VH1, you know what viewers want to see! #sarcasm #ican'tunseejoseline'sbathingsuit

Kirk Frost is livid over Rasheeda's mom's mini-van mayhem that ruined a palm tree and set his moped on fire (after running over it multiple times).  He's willing to give his mother-in-law a pass, but had it been anyone else, he'd have come to blows.  Oh yes, Kirk.  You are so tough.  Rasheeda reveals that she's already spoken to an attorney about filing for divorce, and Kirk actually seems surprised.  He loves his wife and his family, and he's not all about those other women.  He reminds her that she kicked him out, but she tells him she didn't tell him to go screw around…she was hoping he'd fight to stay in her life.  Kirk is trying to skew Rasheeda's words to make his behavior at Benzino's cabin…and he's failing miserably.

Erica Dixon and Mimi Faust are commiserating about Lil' Scrappy and Stevie J. both use money for their daughters to keep the women indebted to them.  Erica is sick of Momma Dee, and she's tired of Scrappy always taking his crazy mom's side.  Mimi can relate…after all, the BMW Stevie bought for her definitely had strings attached.  The women continue to share stories and discuss the wonders of a good boob job.  It's perfectly normal conversation for the driving range!

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Tamra Barney (the reality star now known as Tamra Judge) stopped by the clubhouse on Watch What Happens Live and while she was hanging out she cleared up the Malibu Country misunderstandings, talked about having babies with Eddie Judge and more. 

Andy started the show off rolling some of the tape from Gretchen Rossi's lunch with Alexis and asked Tamra if Gretchen has been overdoing the Botox because her face was so frozen.  Tamra added, "It was like no emotion at all and this used to be her best friend. I kinda felt bad for Alexis."

They dove right in to address the Malibu Country role (again!)  Tamra attempted to clear it up.  "I think the whole story wasn't told. I think that Gretchen did get a call for a part that was not the part that Heather got, clearly. And I think there were some Beverly Hills housewives, Alexis was called.  It was a role as an extra.  So what happened was as soon as Heather got a main role, that extra role was canceled.  But the thing is is that Gretchen kept up with "I got the role, I got the role" when there was no role to get. The role got shut down.  Heather shut it down. So then Gretchen lied about it and said she got it."

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Jenelle Evans hasn't had the usual amount of drama over the past few weeks, at least not out of the norm. But it looks like things might be reaching that point in the Jenelle cycle. 

Tonight Jenelle's latest beau Nathan posted the above photo with the caption, "Jenelle wanted me to post this. I feel so hopeless and I wish I could take her pain away… I'm sorry baby!".  No explanations, just the photo of an ailing Jenelle. 

Let's talk about this for a minute.  First, if I'm in the hospital, the hell if I'm letting anyone take my photo, much less post it on social media.  Second, if said photo was taken, my gown would not be hiked up awkwardly.  Sorry this is 100% an attention/pity ploy. 

Updated: He just shared that Jenelle had her appendix taken out.  Sounds like she's gonna make it, folks.

TELL US – WHAT DO YOU THINK JENELLE'S HOSPITALIZED FOR?

Photo Credit: Twitter

rhoc-lauri

Oh the nonsense that is Real Housewives of Orange County just never ends. See Lauri Peterson insists Vicki Gunvalson is a kinky sex monster who frolics around like this is the eternal summer of love. Orgies, threesomes, affairs… oh my! 

While Lauri is adamant that Vicki got her menage a trois on, Vicki dismisses Lauri as "disgusting" and a liar. Well Lauri maintains that she is telling the truth! 

I absolutely did see this,” Lauri insists to RumorFix. “There wasn’t just one occasion, there were two occasions."

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Are y'all still watching Hollywood Exes? Hello? Anyone? Two weeks ago, the second season of  Hollywood Exes premiered  to 1.7 million, but nearly half of those viewers failed to watch last week's follow-up episode. Ouch. 

This week,  Mayte Garia frantically prepares to bring a baby  into her home, Nicole Murphy enjoys a little too much tequila prior to giving a public speech, and Jessica Canseco continues to annoy Drea Kelly's face off. Oh, Sheree Fletcher also unpacks some boxes, and I can't help but to wonder how many people will change the channel this week. 

Mayte has just days to prepare her house and fill it with baby stuff. Can you say overwhelming?! While shopping, she tries to focus on essentials only, but Nelly is easily distracted by the cutesy stuff. Pink hats, hand puppets, and pink booties!  Oh my!  Mayte demands that Nelly focus on important things only, saying, "I know what it's like to pack up baby clothes, and I don't want to do it again."

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