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Oh the tears of a Real Housewife. As legit as beachfront property in Arizona. Last night on the second installment of the Real Housewives of Orange County reunion it was Gretchen Rossi's turn to crumple face without tears. 

I dunno what you call that sort of cry where no liquid emanates? I mean is it all the botox? At the very least I would expect wine to come out 'cause all they consume is wine. Well, that and bulls#*!. 

So much happened last night – where to begin… 

Well, let's all get this out of the way: Alexis Bellino talked about JIM BLOB's man part. It was the most awkward 2 minutes of television ever! She tripped and stumbled over a forced non sequitur about how he wears a size 14 shoe if you know what she's saying… EW! So that's how things started and if you can believe it they went downhill from there! 

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As we just reported, Shahs of Sunset star Golnesa "GG" Gharachedaghi ended her relationship with new beau Sean Sette because he allegedly cheated. The couple handled the matter maturely and privately. Just kidding!

Like any good reality TV star would do… GG blasted Sean on Instagram and Twitter… now Sean has obtained a restraining order against GG.

Sean told a L.A. County Superior Court judge that GG has been stalking him and threatened his family, career, and sexuality, also pointing out, "GG has an abundance of knives that she carries with her, including illegal knives."  

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I feel like Real Housewives of New Jersey's Teresa Giudice and Melissa Gorga should just give up on pretending they want a better relationship.  They don't.  These two should just throw in the towel, cut their losses, and remain civil for the sake of their children.  The sisters-in-law and their whole "keep your friends close and your enemies closer" mentality is wearing thin on this gal.

In her Bravo blog, Melissa addresses that awkward evening at Teresa's launch party with acquaintances Penny and Jan (the same random chick off the street that was a bridesmaid in Melissa's wedding).  Those women certainly aren't her friends!

Melissa begins, "Well, that was a bizarre and confusing night. I’m sure you are just as dizzy as I am. Teresa and I had already talked about the rumors and she told me to just 'ignore it.' So I was surprised when she called and suggested that her launch party would be the 'perfect time' to confront the people that have been spreading these lies about me."

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Ramona Rizzo celebrates her bachelorette party

If you've been watching Mob Wives since its inception, you know it wasn't always Big Ang and spa days and break-downs. The ladies used to be scary violent until they realized what an atrocious example they were setting for their kids.  Now, even with underlying tension, they're relatively tame.   Even the sharp-tongued threats of Ramona Rizzo have been soothed with the sweet feelings of true love, even if that love has to be expressed via telephone while staring into her lover's eyes through a sheet of plate glass.  Le sigh…and more on that in a bit!

I guess VH1 was getting bored with the lack of drama and feuding because the network is mixing it up with new cast member Alicia DiMichele Garafola…and she and Karen Gravano are not going to see eye-to-eye.  Why, you ask?  Oh just a little thing called "Karen's dad admitted he put a hit out on Alicia's father-in-law at the command of John Gotti."  No biggie.

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Shahs of Sunset  star  Golnesa "GG" Gharachedaghi has ended her rebound relationship with Sean Sette.  GG hooked up with Sean very soon after ending her engagement with Omid Kalantari. Perhaps too soon!

GG repeatedly gushed about how "perfect" Sean was earlier this year.  At the Bravo Upfronts in May, GG boldly stated, "I’m hoping by the end of this year to be pregnant and ready to get married to him." What went wrong? According to GG, Sean cheated! 

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The Heart Truth's Red Dress Collection - Runway

Photo Credit: Andres Otero/WENN.com

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If there's one thing that's certain about Real Housewives of Miami it's that Adriana de Moura and Joanna Krupa do not like each other. Nope! 

Last week the two former enemies tepidly agreed to be civil, but clearly the peace won't last. With dueling weddings on the horizon the two attention whores ladies are about to out bridezilla each other. Oh goody! 

Adriana, whose wedding was accused of being a big ol' Bravo-manufactured publicity stunt, is slamming Joanna's wedding as tacky and over the top. 

“I think I had the most heartfelt, true to the feelings, family oriented, religious ceremony,” Adriana insists Hollywood Life. “I think she had a new, rich type of wedding… where everything is over the top."

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Well, when it was good it was super good, and when it was bad… well when it was bad it was the Real Housewives of Orange County reunion!

Tamra Barney and Gretchen Rossi were friends for literally less time than it takes to blow dry a set of blonde extensions and all of the sudden they're back to fighting about the same. old. ridiculous. things. Namely who's lying about what and whether or not Gretchen cheated on her first fiance. Do we care? Nope we don't but Bravo thinks we do… 

In her Bravo blog, Tamra calls out Gretchen for refusing to let go of the past despite the fact that she hauled five-year-old photographs to the reunion! 

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