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Jersey Shore is drawing to a close, and I'm equal parts sad and relieved.  Okay, so maybe not equal parts…I'm more relieved than sad.  Just like the shirt before the shirt, tonight is the episode before the finale.  I am going to miss these crazy kids.  They love each other without question.  Nicole "Snooki" Polizzi, Jenni "JWoww" Farley, Sammi "Sweetheart" Giancola, Vinny Guadagnino, Pauly "DJ Pauly D" Delvechhio, Ronnie Ortiz-Magro, Deena Nicole Cortese, and Mike "The Situation" Sorrentino, I'm honestly going to miss you.  Call me.  Seriously.  And God speed. 

I realize they are probably too old to be the party animals they are at this age (although that throws a wrench in my social plans), but they are still human, vulnerable, and fun-loving.  You can't help but relate to that…or maybe you can't, but I can.

On last night's episode, the boys have recently made peace with JionniJenni calls Roger who reveals that Jenni has been pot stirring about Jionni's mismatched relationships with the guy roommates.  Jenni isn't happy that Jionni says she's been talking crap about her.  Rawn is quick to defend Jenni although he knows what was said at the guys' night out.  Jenni decides to go straight to the source and calls Jionni.  She questions why Jionni thinks that she's been talking smack.  As far as Jenni is concerned, Jionni wasn't present for the first half of the summer.  He bends, she forgives, and the pair loves each other for the sake of Snooki.

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On last week's episode of Real Housewives of Miami things got very, very real. Karent Sierra and her ever showing teeth was plopped down on a luxury sofa and basically called out for her boyfriend Rodolfo being a skanky, cheating, bastard!

Karent denied knowing about Rodolfo's antics and believes the ladies, led by Alexia Echevarria, planned to ambush her on camera to embarrass her! 

"Seeing Alexia tell Lea [Black] to come back to the house because she wanted to speak to her about something brought chills to my spine, because I couldn't believe the smile on her face," Karent writes in her Bravo blog. 

"We had decided to meet at a certain time for dinner and Lisa [Hochstein], Joanna [Krupa], and I ended up waiting for over an hour and a half for everyone else to arrive. After seeing the episode, I see now that the delay was all because of the scheming of how to perfectly ruin my night," Karent believes.

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Is Kim Kardashian losing some of her male fanbase?

In the 2011 edition of AskMen's "most desirable" poll, Kim was at the top of the heap, ranking in at #8.  This year, however, is a whole different story.  Kim nearly fell off the poll entirely, landing in at #98 (out of 99)! 

The site polls over 2.4 million readers, so this isn't some tiny overview of males who just happen to be over Kim.  AskMen's editor James Bassil said in the press release  "Kim Kardashian is petering off and basically dropping off the list at this point even as she's become more visible."

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Last week on Top Chef Seattle, the unusual ingredient dishes were so disgusting that head judge Tom Collichio refused to give any of the chefs the $10,000 prize. As a result, several chefs were knocked off their pedestals and a few egos were bruised. 

Newcomer Tyler Wiard and returning chef C.J. Jacobsen were sent home for being the worst of the worst. While Tyler went out as humble as ever, C.J.'s whiny ways didn't do him any favors. 

Padma Lakshmi and Marilyn Hagerty, food writer for the Grand Forks Herald, introduce this week's Quickfire Challenge. Marilyn has been writing about middle-American restaurants for 30 years. About her career, Marilyn says, "It's been a hoot." Too cute! One day, I hope to look back on my career and say it's been a hoot. :) 
 
Quickfire Challenge
 
The challenge: each chef must create a sweet and savory holiday dish reflecting his or her cultural heritage. The cheftestants have only 30 minutes and must share one knife. The twisty mustache gets first dibs on the knife, so the other chefs get creative with graters, meat slicers, spatulas, pizza cutters, and busted scissors. 
 
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Evelyn Lozada has the unique distinction of having the shortest marriage in reality TV history. She's even beat out the illustrious record set by Kim Kardashian. Of course, Evelyn has a much better reason for her divorce from Chad Johnson than Kim ever did. Not only was Chad abusive towards Evelyn, she also caught him cheating mere weeks after their million dollar wedding which was also filmed for their now canceled spinoff Ev & Ocho

Evelyn and Chad quickly divorced but the Basketball Wives star reveals that she's having trouble moving on and is left with lingering questions about what led her husband to cheat. 

"I haven't spoken to Chad, we can't – we have a 'no contact' clause, but I hear things," Evelyn shares with RadarOnline. "I moved out, I took my clothes and I never looked back. I never went back to the house to pack my stuff, I had someone pack it, and I pretty much moved on with my life."

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It was the _____________ (thanks, Mary!) heard 'round the world when Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' Brandi Glanville called out Adrienne Maloof and Paul Nassif for ______________.  It was very dramatic, not to mention very confusing.  Of course, Paul wasn't bleeped when he accused Brandi of being such a hard partying mom that she neglected her boys by sleeping until 3pm everyday.  How very nocturnal! 

Brandi denied Paul's claims with some more bleeping, and now her former roommate is coming to Brandi's defense to set the record straight.  Brandi's biffle (and a reality star in her own right thanks to Dr. Drew) Jennifer Giminez finds Paul's statement ridiculous, and she's also got some words for Adrienne for calling Brandi a drug addict. 

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Yes, you read that right! The nanny-challenged terminally boring to the point of a coma former Real Housewives of Miami star Larsa Pippen is going out on her own. 

Larsa was fired after one season of RHOM because viewers found her dull and couldn't relate to her storyline which consisted of complaining about all aspects of her fabulous life and degrading "the help." Meanwhile in the off-season Larsa's former NBA star husband Scottie Pippen maybe filed for bankruptcy because he might be broke.  

Currently Larsa spends most of her days parading around with Kim Kardashian for exposure on Kourtney & Kim Take Miami, but now she's nobody's latch-key famewhore because she just scored her own show. Who do they think is going to watch that?

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Photo Credit: Joel Ginsburg/Wenn.com

 

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