Reality Tea

Katie Maloney & Tom Schwartz Engaged

Well, well –  look who finally put his big boy underoos on and popped the question! Tom Schwartz has finally caved to Katie Maloney‘s demands and proposed to his girlfriend of a zillion years. And no, there were no rings on strings involved, just rings that came with strings called long-term commitment. 

Y’all know what this means: Another Vanderpump Rules wedding! Katie announced the news on instagram with a photo of her wearing the engagement ring while Tom 2 nuzzled her neck (yay for finally making physical contact!). “So I said… YES!!!!” she gushed. 

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Kristen Taekman - The Voice Of Reason On RHONY

The ladies of Real Housewives Of New York are still in Turks and Caicos, but they’re starting to panic, one mosquito caught in a macrame dress after another. Of course Ramona Singer is annoying everyone, and if there were Ramona-Off, it would be in constant use.

Bethenny Frankel is making lunch, because I’m sure there’s some Skinnygirl salad from her book, or she was trying to pimp her new Skinnygirl salad dressing or salad tongs or salad croutons made of compressed air and over-active imagination of what carbs actually taste like. But drama with Ramona eclipsed her Skinnygirl Self-Promotion Brigade.

Ramona is demanding everyone eat lunch at a restaurant. Bethenny is pissed, because she’s been cooking and that’s hella rude on Ramona’s part! Bethenny chases Ramona around the beach house yelling that she’s manic. That, my friends, is the true definition of Irony By Bravo – Skinnygirl Margarita glass calling the Pinot Glass empty. 

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dance moms kendall

In case you were wondering, last night’s Dance Moms was supposed to be all about Kendall, at least that was Jill’s hope. Alas, it was not the case, but I was quite happy about Abby Lee Miller’s absence for the entire hour. I needed the break…desperately. The episode begins with the girls wondering the fate of their friend Kalani and the mothers rehashing Abby’s epic tantrum with Kira. Not surprisingly, Abby is missing in action, and Gianna pretends to now know where their fearless leader is. Gianna grants each dancer a solo in light of Nationals being five weeks away. Wait, what? Does that mean this season is going to be even longer than normal? Geez. JoJo announces that she won’t be competing this week because she’s opening for Kids Bop at Disneyland. I have no clue what that means, but way to go?!?

As Kendall works on her routine, Gianna goads her about losing to Nia the previous week, and Holly questions how Kendall’s single is doing. Jill beams that the song, which dropped this week, is number one in Ireland, and Holly gushes about how exciting that is. However, it’s pretty obvious she only asked to segue into what’s going on with Nia’s budding pop career. I expected more from you, Holly! Jessalyn wonders if Jill is upset that Abby isn’t around to show her support for Kendall’s single, and Jill admits neither she nor Kendall ever know where they stand with Abby. Well, duh…she’s unstable! Nia and Holly then meet with Nia’s manager/producer who wants her to try her hand at rapping. Holly can’t wait to gloat share this news with the other moms. 

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Angie Simpson on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Rumor has it that Angie Simpson is in talks to join the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. In case you’ve never heard of her, let me fill in the blank, Angie is the mother of pop star Cody Simpson. Need more help?? Cody dated Gigi Hadid and competed on Dancing with the Stars.

With Kim Richards out, Brandi Glanville out, and Yolanda Foster very sick, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is down three full-time housewives. Despite never ending rumors to the contrary, neither Kathy Hilton nor Denise Richards is joining the cast (if their denials are to be believed). So is Angie the real deal? Or just another dead end casting rumor?

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The extended Kardashian-Jenner family attend church in Woodland Hills on Easter Sunday

A very wise woman once told me never to believe any Kardashian news that surfaces when the family is filming yet another season, and she couldn’t have been more correct! The family certainly knows how to stay in the limelight with a constant stream of well-timed drama. Not a day goes by that we aren’t treated to giant revelations, inappropriate Instagrams, pregnancy announcements, and break-up rumors.

The Keeping up with the Kardashians media circus is often carried out by random sources and unnamed family insiders, but we all know that Kris Jenner is the true ringmaster. Caitlyn Jenner news is subsiding and the hype about Kim and Kanye giving North a baby brother is so last week, so what should we focus on now? I know! Let’s dish on Kourtney kicking the always douchey Lord Disick to the curb yet again. The couple has been together for nine years and just recently welcomed their third child, but Scott’s out-of-control partying and obnoxious behavior are often front and center on KUWTK and its slew of spin-offs. We’ve seen the cycle practically every season…Scott constantly boozes to the point where his habits become a legitimate concern, Kourtney threatens to leave him, Scott has a break down that involves hitting rock bottom (usually smashing something in the process), Scott seeks treatment, Kourtney takes him back with a laundry list of ultimatums, and boom, they have another kid. And so it begins…again.

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Kylie and Tyga

Photo Credit: Marc Piasecki/Getty Images

Dorinda-Medley-RHONY-Twitter-001

Dorinda Medley has broken her silence about the argument with Heather Thomson that seemed to come out of nowhere on last week’s Real Housewives of New York, an argument Heather deemed “lame.” Dorinda, for her part, agrees about the relative ridiculousness of the tiff, but she does spend quite a while in this week’s blog defending how “hurt” she was by Heather’s “dismissive” attitude when walking in front of her to a local Turks and Caicos eatery. 

Before getting into the Heather debacle, Dorinda reflects on her part in instigating the Sonja Morgan volcanic eruption that left no housewife untouched! Asserting that she cares about Sonja’s welfare because “there IS a difference between being a friend and being someone who cares for someone else, let’s be clear…,” Dorinda says she merely “wanted to offer some advice and help boost her confidence a bit” when she spoke to Sonja the morning after her “STFU!” moment with Bethenny Frankel.  But Dorinda does admit, “I had no idea she was going to come charging down the mountainside at the rest of the girls the way she did. It’s like I lit a spark that sent the cannonball on a warpath. That wasn’t my intention.”

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Shannon Beador struggles to trust David

Shannon Beador has chosen to expose the rawest details of her marriage this season, but in light of Vicki Gunvalson getting the heartbreaking news of her mother’s passing on last night’s Real Housewives of Orange County, Shannon is trying to express gratitude for what – and who – she has in life. In her blog this week, Shannon reflects on the petty drama she’s trying to squash with Meghan Edmonds, her sympathy for Vicki’s loss, and how she’s trying to move past David’s infidelity.   

“This is a very difficult episode to watch,” begins Shannon. “I can’t imagine how incredibly hard it is for Vicki to relive. It is just a reminder to us all that life is precious and that we should be grateful for every moment we have on this earth with our family.” And these precious moments should not be spent on insignificant arguments with thirsty newbie housewives. “We shouldn’t focus on petty things—which brings to me to my phone call with Meghan in this episode,” writes Shannon. 

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