Stop the presses and pour me a Skinnygirl margarita! On second thought, don't…I prefer my cocktails to taste good and go straight to my hips.
I have some wonderful news that will excite the masses. Whether you're a diehard Bethenneedy fan, a Bethennybody-else-but-her hater, or a passive and neutral Frankel, my dear, I don't give a damn, you are going to like what I have to say! Well, that third group probably couldn't care less, but the others–oh, the others!–will be thrilled! P.S. I'm working on a trademark for my newly coined phrases, so use at your own risk. TM, Ms. Frankel, TM! ;)
Anyhoo, can you guess who this post is about? Anyone? Real Housewives of New York veteran and purveyor of Hoppylicious spin-offs and diet liquor concoctions Bethenny Frankel made an announcement earlier Monday on her website. The post was aptly titled "My Big Announcement." You have to give her credit, Bethenny always has been a straight shooter!
I have some sad news and some not-so-sad news to share. First, the sad news. Your Here Comes Honey Boo Boo recap will be slightly delayed on Thursday morning. The not so sad news is the reason WHY Honey Boo Boo will be late. Our hilarious snarkoholic Mary will be mugging it up tomorrow on Anderson Live!
Mary is representing Reality Tea as "Anderson Live's Blogger of the Day". The cast of Bayou Billionaires will be featured tomorrow, as they kick off the second season of their show this week. While we don't recap the series (because Mary, Lauren and Melissa need to nap SOMETIME), we still watch it and think it's a riot!
Last night on Real Housewives of New York one special housewife had a resurgence of adolescence when all she talked about was me, me, me, mememememememmememememe! Yep – one whole long hour of Aviva Drescher, her phobias, the horrible St. Barths psycation, and her problems with Tweedle Drunk and Tweedle Cum. Luckily Heather Thomson was there to speak for the masses, be the voice of reason, and finally suggest that she maybe just LET. IT. GO.
Things begin with a dinner party in a lovely UES apartment. Attending the party are siamese twins Pinot Singer and Sonja Morgan and their frienemy LuAnn de Lesseps. Apparently all three ladies share a mutual friend who is probably looking for camera time because she's selling her apartment, her recipes, her interior design business, her dignity, her husband, whatever…
LuAnn lets us know things have been strained with Jacques since she told him about the incidents in St. Barths, mainly pertaining to a late-night episode in piratry, so she's been giving him extra reassurance that she cares.
Old coaches are out and new coaches are in on The Voice… and we didn't have to endure months of speculation surrounding possible new coaches? Not even a single, "How about Charlie Sheen?" plea for attention! WOW.
We turn around our chairs and give The Voice a standing ovation.
It's true. Just like that, sources say the The Voice has secured Usher and Shakira as coaches for next season's spring cycle. They will step in for Cee Lo Greenand Christina Aguilera, who both need a break from the hit show to pursue other projects.
Last night's Basketball Wives L.A. resumed with Jackie Christie crashing Gloria Govan's tasting party at Malaysia Pargo's request. As none of the other women had seen Jackie since the reunion (presumably), they were waiting with baited breath for an apology or an explanation…heck, even just a sentence at this point! Draya Michele is shocked when Jackie just fixes a plate, grabs a cocktail, and sits down silently at the table. The queen has arrived!
Malaysia makes a toast to explain Jackie's attendance, and both Gloria and Laura Govan have some catty things to get off of their chests. Jackie is trying to maintain her cool as her buttons are being pushed left and right. Draya says that Jackie is going to work very hard to regain any kind of trust. Poor newbie Brooke Bailey just introduces herself. Jackie begins her apology about being defensive, but Draya and Laura think she is totally lacking sincerity. I'd have to agree.
So, the Real Housewives of Miami are back, and this season they have apparently been informed that they are actually part of the housewives franchise and not some random reality show that is formatted around cooking parties. Baby steps.
While four new women join the fray, the "veterans" are out numbered…unless you count Mama Elsa twice, and, let's face it, she is so awesome she deserves the extra credit. Her daughter, Marysol Patton, appears to maintain her status as the voice of reason, although sadly she's missing one hot, foreign, much younger husband. What a difference a year makes! However, regardless of what is going on in Marysol's personal life, she still seems to have a stable head on her shoulders. It's a wonder she was even chosen by Bravo given her propensity to avoid drama. Who am I kidding? She totally got this gig because Andy Cohen wanted Elsa. End of story.
We're not holding our breath, since she's been changing her story for months now. These "sources" tell Us Weekly, "Alexis was really tired of being bullied and chose home and family life over celebrity. She wanted to go back to her simple life in Orange County."