Bravo needs a 6 episode series of "Housewife Idol". Every Housewife who has ever foisted a song on our poor, defenseless ears, has to participate and only the viewers get to vote. Whichever wannabe wins the title is the only one allowed to ever release music from that day forward. Sounds like a plan to me. You in?
Give us your best caption for Porsha in the studio.
TELL US – DO YOU BUY ANY OF THE HOUSEWIVES' SINGLES?
Last night's Dance Moms had to have been one for the record books. Not only did it have the return of Black Patsy, but we got to see Abby Lee Miller express emotions other than hatred or favoritism. I didn't know she had it in her!
The episode begins as the girls and moms convene in the studio, but Abby is missing. She arrives late and explains to everyone that her dog Baby has passed away. Abby fights through the tears to remind her troupe that this week they will be competing in St. Louis. The girls are visibly saddened to see their teacher so upset. Pets are family members, so my heart goes out to Abby. Losing a pet is devastating. Abby quickly runs through the pyramid. Paige is on the bottom for her apparent lack of confidence. Brooke joins her for only scoring fifth. MacKenzie rounds out the lowest level. Kendall is on the second rung, along with Nia whose facial expressions garner praise from Abby. Maddie seems to have once again secured a permanent residence in the top spot.
The group number will have some ballet choreography, and MacKenzie is once again out of the dance. Abby touts the piece as an epic love story, and she hopes she'll be able to escape into the fantasy of the dance to forget about the loss of Baby. Nia is given a solo, and Holly is over the moon for her daughter. Maddie will also be dancing a solo. Abby reminds the girls that St. Louis is the home of Nicaya, who is the daughter of blink-and-you-missed-her-but-man-was-she-sassy-putting-the-crazies-in-their-place Black Patsy. Abby pleads with the moms to be on their best drama-free behavior. Good luck with that!
Now, I'm not one to call out someone else on their convictions, but the story you are about to read is ridiculous. Actually' I don't mean any of that. It's my job to call out celebrities on everything from political views to fashion mishaps, and this story isn't all that crazy. Of course, I am just qualifying that last part to prove that I really don't enjoy calling out anyone based on their beliefs. I could go on forever with this round of circular reasoning.
It's no secret that I am a huge fan of Duck Dynasty. The Robertson boys make me laugh, give me hope in the family unit, and, if you listen to my friends, solidify the notion that I have a definite type, and that type is anything with a beard. It's hard for me to imagine anyone not liking this show or this family, but I'm not going to judge someone who doesn't…even if it means that someone cancels a late night talk show appearance last minute to avoid the cast. Sticking up for what you believe in is an important character trait; however canceling last minute is just plain tacky.
Sean Lowe! Is that a long-tail boat you have there or are you just happy to see me? Sean sails into Thailand to forgo sexy times with his three remaining bachelorettes – Lindsay Yenter, AshLee Frazier, Catherine Guidici – in the Bachelor fantasy suite. They go to the suite, but instead of the normal sexy times, Sean and his ladies share closed mouth kisses and play M.A.S.H.
My M.A.S.H. game says Sean and Catherine will live in a house in Dallas with three kids. two dogs, and one hamster. Crossing my fingers!
Can you imagine spending only eight-ish "off camera" hours with someone before proposing marriage? I most certainly cannot, and leading into this week, Sean has some doubts as well. You see, he has feelings for all three women, and it's hard. Being. The. Bachelor. Is. Hard.
We share your pain, Sean. Watching it hasn't always been enjoyable either.
We've all been wondering when it would happen, but Juicy Jucidice is finally getting his day in court! The Real Housewives of New Jerseystar, who has the distinction of being the worst Reality TV hubby ever, will be headed to trial on April 1!
Unsurprisingly Teresa Giudice will be by his side day-after-day. Think of the glorious courthouse outfits. Squeeeee! “Teresa could be the star witness if we need to call her,” Joe’s attorney Miles Feinsteinconfirms with RadarOnline.
“And even if she doesn’t testify she will be there every day for him because she completely supports him. She wants Joe to win this case!”
TheReal Girls Of The Bada-Bing follows the everyday lives of the strippers/exotic dancers who work at Satin Dolls (the club used as the Bada Bing on The Sopranos). Where does Kim G fit into all of this? Don't worry, she's not climbing a pole! Kim is actually an associate producer and the resident den mother, trying to help some of the girls.
The show is described as a little "Jersey Shore meets the Housewives meets the Sopranos". In the first season we'll witness an American Idol-style casting call, as well as spats among the girls – with each other and the customers. The dancers all lead very different lives and will be shown as they try to finish college, raise kids, and keep relationships going. Executive producer Tom Murro says, "it is a cutthroat biz and there can be only one pole queen." The network is a secret right now, but we're told it's a "good fit" for the show.
TELL US – WERE YOU A FAN OF THE SOPRANOS? WOULD YOU GIVE THIS SHOW A TRY?
CLICK THE CONTINUE READING BUTTON FOR A SNEAK PEEK VIDEO
Growing up is sooooo hard to do. Especially when you're a 32-year-old male model perfecting the dilettante lifestyle. Such is the case of Jax Taylor, who everyday listens to Rod Stewart's anthem "Forever Young" on his iPod while slicing lime twists for the perfect cocktail. But alas fair Jax – everyone has a moment when they wake up Maggie Mae.
Worst of all is that Jax let his people down. His followers, ready to decamp in the jungle without their eyeliner for him, were crestfallen.
In the tangled web of Vanderpump Rules, Jax is trying to rekindle his relationship with Stassi Schroeder and to do that he's taking their dog shopping. Stassi wants all remnants of that flea Laura-Leigh exterminated. Over talk of new leashes, Stassi then turns her laser devil eyes on Jax and he is forced to beg and plead with her not to exterminate him as well.
Stassi and Jax, the endless tale of emotional f**kwittism. Is buying a new dog accessory some sort of break-up rite of passage now?
Last night on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills there was an intervention, the reveal of Ken Todd's secret life, and one incredibly boring trip to Paris which consisted of standing on a balcony in bad cocktail dresses speculating over whether or not Kim Richards was jet-lagged or relapsing.
Things begin at Kyle Richards' house where we are treated to the full scope of her sitting room. I certainly hope she isn't paying Faye Resnick for her design services because tacked onto the white walls are dead turtle shells. In other accents Kyle had American flag pillows strewn around her sectional. #Refund. Anyway, Kim loves this room. She just loves this room. Apparently in her house there is no place to sit down. She should hire Faye. Or you know, buy a couch! Craigslist, baby.
Segue: can you imagine how awesome the BH Craigslist offerings must be?
Anyway, one thing Kim isn't happy about, besides her lack of seating space, is Taylor Armstrong's behavior. After Taylor got drunk and took off with a married man whose private jet she's in love with and ditched her daughter with the nanny and Kyle, Kim is convinced Taylor has a little problem with the old Chardonnay. Something about Taylor slurring 'Keeedeeeee's with youse, Kow. I thought eye left er at ome with the burlr larm?' tipped her off to the problem.