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They're baaack with a wigence and a fury of sequins! And these girls work it better than any girl I know. Oh please, Latrice "Mother Effing"  Royale, please, please descend upon my house in full paint and do my make-up before unleashing me forth into the world. Mama needs to go to church and she needs her everlasting glory!

Before we go any further let me also profess my undying love for Chad Michaels (and of course Cher). I spread La Mer on my toast too, bitch. 

So let's get this recap of RuPaul's All Stars Drag Race started! Hit it, Queens! 

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Meet up, talk about whatever happened in the last scene, lather, rinse, repeat.  Basketball Wives: LA is so predictable these days!  At least last night we had Jackie Christie's wedding and Laura Govan's weird fashion choices to keep us entertained!

Draya Michele and Malaysia Pargo are meeting up to discuss…well, Jackie.  It seems that she is the only topic anyone speaks about on this season!  Draya reveals that she will never be on board with a Jackie friendship and she is certainly not going to her eighty-eighth wedding.  Draya doesn't see Jackie's vow renewal at a gay club as a tribute to homosexuals.  She sees it as a slap in the face as the gay community is forced to watch a straight couple get married knowing that gay couples don't have the same rights.  Malaysia hadn't thought about it in those terms, and honestly, neither had I!  Brooke Bailey arrives dressed to the nines, and Malaysia tells the other women she really doesn't want to go to the wedding, and she feels like Jackie used her to get back into the group and then just dumped her.  She plans to pull Jackie aside at the rehearsal (they've done this forty-seven times…do they really need a practice round?) to share her feelings.  That should go over well!

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Hard work and tireless self-promoting apparently pays off. Real Housewives of New York's resident intellectual, Carole Radziwill has just inked a six-figure deal to publish her first novel, The Widow's Guide To Sex & Dating

According to the NY Post, following a serious bidding war, Carole procured a two book deal with Henry Holt & Co worth $700,000! The second book will be a collection of essays tentatively titled, A Girl's Guide To Life. Clearly Carole is a woman who likes a theme! 

Carole confirmed she had indeed signed a deal with a publisher but wouldn't elaborate on which one. Carole's first book, a memoir, chronicled the death and aftermath of her late husband Anthony Radziwill. Carole's novel has also been optioned for a sitcom. 

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Photo Credit: George Chin/WENN

 

Here comes Bobbi Kristina Brown.  The daughter of the late Whitney Houston was out in NYC last to party with her family, celebrating the launch of their new reality TV show, The Houstons: On Our Own

Bobbi Kristina, her almost-brother/fiance Nick Gordon, and other family members and friends and celebs, including Imani Showalter, turned out for the premiere party at the Tribeca Grand Hotel. 

This is one reality show I sort of hoped wouldn't come to fruition.  I mean, this girl needs time to grieve her mother and get her life together and I just don't think reality TV is the best or healthiest post-loss project to jump into, but that's just me. 

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There is so much speculation surrounding Adrienne Maloof and Paul Nassif's divorce.  Rumors have been swirling and custody battles have been waged.  We've been reading all about it thanks to the Internet…and we're about to get to watch it when the new season of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills airs.

Having to go through such a personal and private matter in such a public forum is no doubt extremely difficult.  Not to mention, they both have to go through it the first time and then re-watch it with the rest of the world.  I'll just stay behind my computer…I'd rather not have to deal with all of that!

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I feel like high stepping, finger snapping, dance-off gang fight is about to happen in Miami a la the Sharks and Jets, and the Sharks are the Kardashian sisters and their fans and the Jets are, well, everyone else.  As you recall, the Kim and Kourtney got the boot from South Beach, but they landed in a very nice gated community in North Miami Beach.  Granted, said gated community is near strip malls and convenience stores (I know, I totes have hives too just typing about it.  Gag.), but those Kardashian girls are nothing without without their keen ability to adapt in any situation with other vapid ridiculously rich for no reason people. 

Oddly enough, it was living near the Kardashians that led potential South Beach neighbors to send the girls packing.  Now that filming has begun for the umpteenth spin-off of their family reality dynasty, the North Miami Beach natives are getting restless…or at least one of them is!  There is apparently a disgruntled realtor on the scene.  Um, he clearly didn't get the memo that it's called Kourtney and Kim Take Miami, not Some Guy Wants Money Thanks to Famewhores.   Some people will always try to make a buck at the expense of innocent reality stars.  Sadly, in this case, I'm not being sarcastic.

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Because Bravo knows a good thing when it sees it, last night we were treated to even more madness from the Real Housewives of New Jersey.  While the season was supposed to be over after the reunion trilogy (The Hunger Games it was not), the network decided to milk a little bit more out of the women and the viewers.  So it is without further ado, I present to you the lost footage from season four.  It's actually very telling to see what ended up on the cutting room floor, and what's being revisited in light of the ongoing feud surrounding Teresa Giudice and everyone else Melissa Gorga.  Editing truly is magical!

Narrated by Andy Cohen, the episode takes us behind the scenes of what happened during the season and at the far-too-drawn-out reunion.  Buckle up (if you haven't boycotted the show yet!), and enjoy the bumpy ride with Melissa, Teresa, Caroline Manzo, Jacqueline Laurita, and Kathy Wakile.  It's truly a sight.

We begin with a lost cause…Andy is trying to convince Juicy Joe (once again) that homophobic slurs are offensive and nasty.  Joe is all, Ahhwatdisagain? before turning into a brick wall of Who Cares.  By the way, did you know that Joe went on a boat ride with seven guys and one of them was gay?  He is not a homophobe.  The comments he made about Gregg Bennett were meant to be funny, not mean.  He's so sorry Greggy doesn't have a sense of humor!  Jacqueline tells Andy that she thinks Joe speaks more out of ignorance than maliciousness.  Fair enough. 

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