Buckle up! Last night was yet another crazy episode of Love & Hip Hop Atlanta. I am really going to miss these ladies when the season ends.
We start–where else?–with Joseline wearing the most ridiculous “outfit” for a photo shoot. She looks like a mermaid Beyonce in drag. There is a lot going on to say the least. Stevie J. arrives and he’s not feeling her ensemble. Perhaps he wants her to dress more patriotic like himself. He immediately goes off on her for texting his baby mama. She has a name! I mean, how hard is it to say, “Did you text Mimi?” Joseline calls Mimi Faust a b*tch, and Stevie doesn’t like her disrespecting his family. He storms out of the photo shoot. Joseline goes back to her posing.
Momma Dee and Shay meet for lunch. Shay knows she needs to tread lightly and get on Momma Dee’s good side so she can grow her relationship with Lil’ Scrappy. Momma Dee is very happy that her son is with Shay, and she warns Shay that she may have to check Erica Dixon at some point. She says they can either act like ladies or handle it with some gangsta sh**. I have a feeling Momma Dee hopes it’s the latter.
American Idol winner Jordin Sparks has stepped out with a rocking new figure thanks to diet, exercise, and good old fashioned hard work. The star has recently lost fifty pounds! How did she do it? She entirely changed her diet and lifestyle, implementing new strategies to make sure that the pounds just melted away.
Jordin touts cutting out her Starbucks cravings and late night snacks, and swapping out sugary drinks and treats with healthier options. She also swears by portion control and not eating within two hours of going to bed.
LuAnn de Lesseps is a reality show veteran which is why it’s surprising that she would find herself wrapped up in a cheating allegation orchestrated by Pinot Singer‘s stinger.
People is reporting that on a recent cast trip to St. Barts the Real Housewives of New York star was accused of getting frisky with a Frenchmen who wasn’t longtime boyfriend Jacques Azoulay! Well if she gets pregnant, I say call Maury for a paternity test!
The accused man – a Johnny Depp lookalike – was spotted at the vacation home by google-eyed Singer, “I saw you here [at the house]. … OK, kiss and don’t tell,” Ramona remarks in an upcoming episode.
It’s finally here. The most amazing Bachelorette finale ever. (No, really, it might be true this time.) Who does Emily Maynard love more - Jef Holm or Arie Luyendyk, Jr.? Will Emily’s chosen one propose? Chris Harrison welcomes us to the three hour finale of the Bachelorette. (Three hours!) Grab a drink, a snack, and a box of tissues, because Chris promises good stuff. He better not be lying.
Emily‘s parents and brother are in Curacao to meet Jef and Arie.
First up, Jef! Suzy, Emily’s mom, asks Jef how his family feels about Jef looking for love on this crazy show. Jef’s family is skeptical, because Jef’s family is smart. But, of course, they were completely sold on the idea after meeting Emily. Suzy and Jef sit down for a chat. Jef wants to be a good husband and father. He’ll accept Ricki as his own. Jef wants to marry Emily, she completes him. Suzy thinks Jef is a good fit for Emily.
Emily’s brother Ernie is the next one to grill Jef. Jef asks Ernie if Emily is ready to settle down with somebody. Ernie says, oh, no, Emily does not settle. If Emily doesn’t feel right about it, it won’t happen. Jef thinks what he and Emily share is special. He’s excited about a future with Emily. Ernie thinks Jef’s intentions are good. Ernie loves that Jef talks like he’s reading greeting cards.
Jef is nervous about talking to Emily’s dad. Jef is mentally preparing to ask for Emily‘s hand in marriage. Jef wouldn’t feel right taking the next step with Emily without Dad’s blessing. Lucky for Jef, Dad isn’t a hard sell. He hands it right over.
On last night’s Big Ang, we were treated to house parties and dog shows, with a little emergency care mixed in for good measure.
Ang takes Louis to be groomed. He is adorable, but he turns into a little gremlin when they put the hairdryer on him. He’s trying to bite people left and right. Ang needs Louis to be a beautiful pooch because she’s planning to enter him in a dog show.
Janine was able to get Ang her dream house, but moving and Big Ang don’t get along. Lil Jen is helping her get settled, but her stuff seems to be multiplying. As Jen says, Ang has enough furs to start a zoo.
On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey (brought to us by the Bravo Home Shopping Network) the ladies brought home the bacon while the menfolk sat around the kitchen table gossiping and snarking like old biddies. I applaud the progressive feminist nature of these industrious girls. Except for the one whose husband said he owned her. Yeah, that one needs to take a women’s studies class, stat!
So things begin with Teresa Giudice - or is Joodichee? Our favorite Jersian wordsmith has apparently, once again, forgotten how to pronounce her ever-shifting last name. Teresa’s newest venture is branding herself – I think she should start with having a consistent pronunciation of her own name, but that’s just my suggestion. “Branding” means adding Fabellini to her ever-expanding product repertoire. I swear Teresa makes up these words, Fabulicious, Fabellini, etc because she can’t actually pronounce any real words!
Teresa is in the car with Joe Goodouchée and they are headed to a vineyard, she thinks. Despite the fact that she is now in the wine making business, madame Giuhoochie has no idea where wine comes from or where one goes to taste wine.
“My greatest accomplishment in life was my most difficult task in life. With God and my family we did it. I will forever remember this day 7/16/12. It was written in cursive for this king to exist,” Yandywrote. This is the first child for Yandy and her boyfriend Mandecees.
“Long day.. Or journey I should say! Congrats to my Pud@yandysmith on her beautiful baby boy..She’s a trooper for delivering such a blessing,” Kimbella supportively tweeted.
Kimbella also welcomed her little girl into the world. Juelz Santanatweeted: “7p 3oz 7/21/12 U won’t ever need no ni&&a for s#it cause DaDDY got U!!” A photo of Juelz and his new daughter are below! This is Kimbella’s third child.
Mariah signed on the dotted line today and it seems that she and J-Lo have more in common than having twin babies, as Mariah will be paid a whopping $12 million, the same amount that Jennifer was earning during her stint on the show.
TMZ reports that Adam Lambert and Miley Cyrus are still in the running for the other empty seat.
UPDATE: TMZ now says her paycheck for one season stands at $18 million!
TELL US – DO YOU WANT TO WATCH NOW THAT MARIAH HAS SIGNED ON? DO YOU THINK SHE’S WORTH TWELVE MILLION DOLLARS?