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This November, I am thankful for Basketball Wives: LA.  Seriously.  They make me feel a wee bit better about my life.  I may not have money or reality fame, but at least I've got great friends and family and don't look like a fool week after week for the whole world to see.  That is definitely something for which to give thanks!

Once again, last night's episode was the Jackie Christie show, and I have to wonder why she doesn't just get a spin-off already!  Fortunately for the viewers, the ladies seem to have veered from their whole meet for lunch/drinks/dinner/canyon/walks/cat fights premise.  Sorry, I couldn't even type that with a straight face.  We begin with Jackie meeting Gloria Govan for lunch to discuss Laura Govan's recent behavior.  Jackie needs to get her personal life sorted out so the drama doesn't interfere with the most important thing in her life–her daugters New York Fashion Week.  I am still shocked that she has a show.  Are we sure this is New York City Fashion Week?  In Manhattan?  Perhaps it could be New York Missouri Proper Fashion Week?  Jackie reveals that Malaysia Pargo will be walking in her show, and she had planned to ask Draya Michele as well.  Gloria is confused.  Doesn't Jackie hate Draya?  Gloria is too involved in her webisodes.  Jackie decides to vent about Laura to her sister, and Gloria totally flakes.  Jackie knows Gloria is the mouthpiece for the group, but she hopes Gloria will be nice when she sees Jackie's clothing line.

Malaysia and Bambi are returning to volunteer with Educated Ballers.  They have two high school girls they are going to mentor.  Well, this is a refreshing change if we have to see a "meet up" with the women.  Malaysia wonders if the girls would like to work in fashion.  One girl would like to be a social worker while the other would like to work in a correctional facility.  They are going to be roommates when college starts in the fall.  I must say that both Bambi and Malaysia are good at talking to the girls without talking down to them.  Malaysia is inspired.  She wants their next vacation to be a volunteer endeavor, like building houses in New Orleans. 

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We can always count on Brandi Glanville to say what we're all thinking. That's why we love her, right?! In this case the outspoken Real Housewives of Beverly HIlls star is commenting on Taylor Armstrong's behavior at Portia's fourth birthday party in last week's episode. 

If you recall, shortly after Brandi high-tailed it out of there fearing the crazy would be unleashed, Taylor started loose-lipping salacious gossip about Brandi to anyone that would listen. Taking to her Bravo blog, Brandi says she's pretty sure Taylor's behavior was spurned by drunkeness – and she was prepared!

"When Taylor arrived seemingly drunk to a four years birthday party I had a good idea that s— was gonna go down. So after hearing some of the things she was starting to talk about and also seeing her passive aggressively ignore me as she spoke to both of people sitting on either side of me, I decided to get gone," Brandi recalls

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Last week on Big Rich Texas, Leslie Birkland decided to have Kalyn Braun baptized (in a pool during a thunder and lightning storm) to wash away her slutty tendencies. Much to Kalyn's dismay, Leslie invited Kalyn's mom, Terry. Instead of embracing her mother, ignoring her, or faking small talk, Kalyn threw a temper tantrum of epic proportions. 

Following the party, if Leslie's face could show emotion, she would look bewildered. Leslie doesn't understand why Kalyn got so upset with her mother. Just a guess… perhaps because they're two manipulative drama queens fighting for attention. Kalyn tells Leslie that she got too heated and cannot even remember what set her off, adding, "Everything was just rushing through my head, like all the crap she pulls, and I just went off. I lost it. I couldn't handle it anymore." 

Leslie stresses that people can change. Leslie blows my mind with, "Now that you're an adult and you've been baptized, you're looking and viewing life differently." Being baptized does not instantly make one an adult… and, for crying out loud, Kalyn's hair is practically still wet. When did she have time to change her outlook on life? Leslie urges Kalyn to give Terry a chance. Kalyn says the mere thought is exhausting. 

Next, DeAynni Hatley brings 15-year-old Shaye to the Big Rich Texas plastic surgeon for Botox. I'll let you digest that statement for a moment and meet you in the next paragraph.

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Awwww… apparently all is hunky dory with the ladies of Real Housewives of Orange County. I'm sure that has absolutely nothing to do with filming for season 8 happening, does it? 

This weekend Tamra Barney (who may or may not be getting married to Eddie Judge on the show) headed to Puerto Vallarta for her bachelorette party weekend!

Surprisingly, attending the festivities was former BFF, turned season-7-nemesis, Vicki Gunvalson. The girls who are also business partners courtesy of Wines by Wives seemed to have patched things up. I wonder if that has something to do with Vicki reportedly ending things with serial-scammer and lover of all things Hallmark, Brooks Ayers?

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Oh my.  This is good.  I mean, when I say this is good, y'all, this.  Is.  Good.  It speaks volumes to the characters of the women from the original Basketball Wives.  VOLUMES!  As you know, Shaunie "Nostrils" O'Neal, after a face-saving attempt to seek counseling from her pastor at the end of last season to end the show's violent ways, is bringing back her two explosive, bullying best friends Evelyn Lozada and Tami Roman

Evelyn and Tami want to use the fifth season for redemption after all of their heinous behavior in seasons past.  Well, they are off to a great start, I tell you!  The two ladies are hoping to revamp their images, and Shaunie and Suzie "Both Sides of her Mouth" Ketcham are also along for the ride.  Guess how the four ladies are planning to show that they've changed for the better??  Why, they're planning a walk out if they don't get their salaries hiked!  They truly have changed.

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Somebody hand me the antibacterial soap, I need to scrub the dirty off to get through this post.  This creepy trainwreck, also known as Couples Therapy, seems to be never-ending!

This week's drama-fest consists of Courtney Stodden challenging Nik Richie to fight her husband, Doug Hutchison, in a street fight and Nik trying to convince us that Courtney is obsessed with him.

The 18-year-old wanna-be reality starlet Tweeted the challenge, "My hubby challenges Nik to a street fight. Is he man enough to accept? Let's see how tough he is w/out a keyboard in his hands!!" 

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Last night on Real Housewives of Atlanta we met other new Housewife Porsha Stewart. What can we say about Porsha other than she's very, very, very, very, very, very blessed – and everything's, like, so perfect, like, all the time!

Porsha can pretty much be described as Kenya Moore's diametric opposite – a fact that has not escaped Kenya for one second. While Porsha grew up rich, doted on, and adored only to get married to a famous athlete and live as a socialite, as Kenya pointed out – she had to earn her own titles. Which may be why she clings onto an aging, tarnished, crown for dear life. When alls you've got is yesterday's honor and some Stuff Magazine covers, girl can't sit back on her booty and let the world forget!

Things begin with NeNe Leakes and ex-husband/current squeeze Greggalicious having a little one-on-one time. They head to Miss Lawrence's salon for some pedicures on giant, ridiculous, lacquered thrones. Gregg displays his talent for memorizing Hallmark cards and old wedding toasts by serenading an embarrassed NeNe with badly rhyming poems. All Gregg wants is a key. A key to NeNe's house, a key to her life, a key to her heart! 

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Those Real Housewives of New Jersey never take a day off.   When they aren't filming, they are hard at work promoting their wares, trying to keep the ship afloat.  Whether it's Teresa Giudice pimping her cookbooks, drinks and hair products, Melissa Gorga serenading us with her latest tunes, or the Manzo-Lauritas hawking their blk. water, these Jersey gals are workin' hard for the money.

This weekend was no exception.  The blk crew, Caroline Manzo, Albie and Chris Manzo, Jacqueline Laurita and husband Chris, were at Stacks Pancake House in Paramus for a water tasting and bottle signing – and we have the pics for you! 

 

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Photos by: Rula Kanawati

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