When will reality stars learn? Alright, I realize the answer is "never," but throw me a bone, people! We have seen enough fame whores dying to have Bravo cameras following them around, but they don't give a second thought to the fact that the fleeting fifteen minutes will undoubtedly unleash all of the skeletons in their closets.
"That will never happen to me," they all say. Clearly these folks have heard of the Giudices, right? The public is always going to find out your business if you put it on television! Not shockingly, the newest reality stars to fall victim to this truth will be a new couple on the upcoming season of Real Housewives of Orange County.
Just when I thought pimp momager Kris Jenner couldn't get any worse, she posts the above picture of herself on Instagram (captioned "Date Night"–gag) sporting tween duck face and dining with Francine from the PBS cartoon Arthur. On the heels of the tabloids covers touting a not-so-secret romance between the icky reality star and former BachelorBen Flannel, er, I mean Flajnik.
And what does poor estranged husband Bruce Jenner think of all this messiness? For his sake, I hope he realizes that life is far better out of Kris' klutches. I wonder if he ever gets the itch to spill what he knows about loyal and doting wife. We all know if the tables were turned, she'd do it in a heartbeat!
Well I know that hell hasn't frozen over because it's pushing eighty degrees here on the coast of South Cackalacki, but I don't have any other rational explanation for this reality news. Much like the Grinch, it appears that some ladies in the Garden State have hearts that are growing and growing. 'Tis the season, right?
Past, present, and future Real Housewives of New Jersey stars–and sisters–and technically still sisters-in-law (ya follow me?)–Caroline and Dina Manzo have reconciled after a long and anti-climactic feud. I know, I know. I can't believe it either!
I believe Reza had issues with Sasha, but I definitely do not believe this was their first ever encounter. I think Reza is a very mean-spirited and disrespectful person, and the producers used it to their advantage this week.
First up, Mike Shouhed visits a dermatology and hair restoration clinic to find out if his hair needs professional help, as his asshat of a friend Reza has suggested. Then Mike bring Reza for moral support – Mike doesn't need hair help, he needs brain help. Reza never stops making fun of Mike. Mike puffs out his chest and says he's going to shave Reza's head and mustache ("that Burt Reynolds looking mother f–ker") while he's sleeping. Yeah, sure.
So, a doctor examines Mike's full head of thick black hair, then determines he's not balding. What. A. Nail. Biter. But the scene wasn't all for naught – we learn Mike suffers from ear dandruff. As well as poor taste in best friends.
If ever there was a reality star that probably should have her own wine it's longtime bar and restaurant owner Lisa Vanderpump!
There were whispers some time ago that the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star was working on a Villa Blanca rosé, which never appeared on the market. However last week Lisa was in Miami for The Pride White Party and she was also promoting something surprising: a sangria!
Huh? Where did that come from?! Lisa and daughter Pandora Todd promoted LVP Sangria at the party which as of course pretty in pink and probably tastes delicious. According to the website it's coming soon.
Last week K. Michelle was in Washington DC to perform a concert.
The Love & Hip Hop star did a concert in Silver Spring, MD and was expected to perform at an after party at the Howard Theater with a local go-go band. Unfortunately it seems there was a miscommunication of sorts with K. denying that she was ever hired to perform at the second venue!
Promoters advertised that K. would be present for a "mini-concert", but Ms. Michelle assumed she was only making an appearance and denied any sort of promised concert!