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In the beginning there was a housewives franchise for any given night of the week, and then, there was Watch What Happens Live.  I must admit I was beside myself when Andy Cohen decided to make his fete a nightly deal.  I guess I overestimated the amount of guests who would entertain me in the clubhouse.  I don't care about has-beens or random current reality stars that know nothing of all things Bravo.  I want dish and dirt and a worthy jackhole.

Ask and ye shall receive.  My Monday night WWHL was everything I like to see happening in the clubhouse.  Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' Taylor Armstrong was present to clear up any rumors that she needed and intervention, and, I'll be honest, as much as I dislike her on the show, she was pretty funny and self-depreciating with ol' Andy.  Joining her was The Hills' Kristin Cavalarri who looked fabulous after just having a baby boy.  MTV's resident bitch was likeable and (dare I say it?) hilarious during her debut night in the clubhouse. 

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Rumor has it that former Bachelorette Emily Maynard only cares about one thing these days – being famous. Shocker! Ugh. I am sooo over Emily. 

ABC reportedly wants Emily to be the Bachelorette again; however, it sounds like Princess Emily's sole focus right now is landing her own talk show. And Emily allegedly plans to move from Charlotte to Los Angeles to better her chances of landing such a gig. Obviously, if Emily moves away from Charlotte, so does Emily's daughter Ricki

Understandably, Ricki's grandparents (parents of Emily's late finance Ricky Hendrick) are not too happy about Emily's desire to move their granddaughter across the country. According to RadarOnline, this moving business has caused major stress within the family, as the Hendricks feel as if Emily puts "her thirst for fame" ahead of Ricki's well-being.

Radar's source claimed, "Rick, Linda, and Emily do not speak at all now, aside from having to make arrangements regarding Ricki. They are majorly feuding and I don't see a resolution being reached anytime soon." 

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Some might say it's the end of an era.  I'd say that.  RIP camo hat.  I guess much like Leah Messer being replaced in Corey Simms' life of wedded bliss, his hat must also be replaced.  In this case, he has replaced both Leah and the hat with a more conservative, less redneck version…although if you look closely at both the new fiance and Leah and camo hat and new hat, they all are pretty interchangeable, right down to the bleached hair, fake nails, and super curved bill. 

Likewise, just how everything in Corey's world will always follow a simpler, flame-emblazoned truck story line, Jenelle Evans also likes to follow a script…and not one from the local pharmacy (that we know of, although I'm sure she wouldn't turn down any Rx painkillers).  It's a Teen Mom 2 post of stuff that won't surprise you in the least!

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Well that was FAST!  After like 12 minutes of dating a 14 day engagement, Teen Mom 2 star Jenelle Evans and Courtland Rogers got married this morning!  Coincidentally, Ke$ha dropped her new album today!  Oh the devotion Jenelle has for Ke$ha knows no bounds.

Jenelle's sister Ashleigh ran to the tabloids the minute she found out the news.  It's apparent that these two are still not on good terms. 

"My sister got married this morning, it was a shotgun courthouse wedding."  Um, not sure if Ashleigh really gets what the term "shotgun" means since Jenelle says she is definitely NOT pregnant.   Jenelle hasn't "confirmed" the wedding, but she did share on Twitter that she's not preggers again.  "NOOO I'm not and Courtland did not say anything about getting me pregnant or having kids anytime soon. Over my dead body if I would be that selfish to have a baby before getting Jace back."

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Last night on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills the ladies got wild and out in Ojai. I have to say last night was one of the most fun episodes ever and it makes you think if they all got their panties out of a wad, relaxed, and spoke to each other like normal people instead of obsessing over petty drama they'd all get along and be fun. But alas, that would be too easy and far too mature. 

Things begin with the girls still in Ojai where Brandi Glanville has just dropped the eff-bomb at Buckingham Palace in front of Queen Elizabeth and her corgis. Oh, wait –  no she didn't. She just said it to Adrienne Maloof, but the way these ninnies were acting you'd think this was the most official, classy, elegant prestigious dinner in all the world. I don't know why they were all getting up on their high horses acting like they've never said F-U before when we all know they use it. Right, Splits Richards?

Anyway, Brandi and Kim Richards were doing a big Ojai love-in and pouring their hearts out when Adrienne gets on the intercom with her whiny, donkey voice to announce that someone is crying in Aisle 5 and clean-up is required. Repeat, someone – ahem KIM – is crying!

So Brandi was forced to tell Adrienne to eff off and everyones' heads snapped around like Adrienne just announced that someone was peeing on a Chanel bag. Their mouths dropped, and they glared at Brandi as if she was pee culprit desecrating the holy statue. 

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Never a dull moment in the land of wigs and cigs, eh? Kim Zolciak has had one helluva a shitty year. I mean, sure she got a hubby, a spinoff, and a baby out of it, but otherwise it's been bad news blues. An eviction, a possible firing, a public and nasty feud with her parents, and now she apparently owes the IRS big time. Time to pawn some wigs and Versace china, girl. 

A source NeNe tells Celeb Dirty Laundry that the former Real Housewives of Atlanta star is in hot water with the IRS because she hasn't paid taxes in 10 years and owes them $7 million dollars! Um… what? I didn't know being a mistress was considered taxable income. 1099?

The news comes from a "close family member" who shares Kim has been committing tax fraud for years by not paying taxes on "hundreds of thousands of dollars worth of gifts" Big Poppa gave her. Apparently while they were fauxgaged, he was also shelling out a reported $250,000 for her spending allowance. He also unsuccessfully tried to limit her spending to $150,000 per month. 

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I can now say with certainty that Real Housewives of Orange County's Vicki Gunvalson's love tank is no longer being filled by Brooks Ayers.  What?  No more daily affirmations?  No more crawfish boils?  No more rented furs?  I wonder what happened there…I'm guessing that she got tired of spending all her money on him.  Vicki recently chatted about all things Season 8, grandson Troy, and bacon vodka.  What is the housewives' obsession with having their own liquor line?

Also in RHOC news, Tamra Barney is shopping for her wedding duds and bringing along the majority of her co-stars…whether she's friends with them or thinks they are fake air heads.  That's right.  Vicki, Heather Dubrow, Gretchen Rossi, former cast member Lauri Waring Peterson, new housewife Lydia Stirling McLaughlin, and dun dun dun dun…Alexis Bellino (what?) all accompanied Tammy on her trek to find the perfect gown.  I'm sure that was fun!

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With each season and every episode, Teen Mom 2 just gets more and more depressing.  I honestly don't think that Leah Messer, Kailyn Lowry, or Chelsea Houska are getting any more mature…their kids are just getting older.  Notice I didn't even mention Jenelle Evans.  Seriously, what's the point anymore with that one? 

Leah is finally getting over the divorce despite the fact that she was once in love with Corey Simms…like the day before this scene was filmed.  If you can get over it in a day and a half, chances are it wasn't true love.  She's ready to focus on getting back into school for nursing. 

Jenelle's friend Tori bails her out of jail, and Jenelle is upset that her mother wouldn't do it.  I'm more upset that Tori does!  I think she begins to regret it when she learns that she'll be responsible for paying $10,000 if Jenelle is a no-show for court.  Given Jenelle's track record, Tori could have a very hefty fine on her hands!  Both girls lament about how horrible Barbara is for taking care of Jace not springing Jenelle from the clink.  Meanwhile, Chelsea is desperate to get out of the house.  She's totally stressed out about not studying for her GED and her relationship woes with Adam.  Now that he's no longer squatting for free at her apartment, he doesn't really want to talk to her.  Not shockingly, her friend isn't that sympathetic, but she does surprise Chelsea with tickets to Deirks Bentley (jealous!) for the night before a practice GED test.  This is what most would call a conundrum…but not Chelsea.  She like so used to totally cry to Deirks' songs when she was pregnant with Aubree and Adam would treat her like crap. 

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