Reality Tea

rhonj amber and jim marchese

Last night on Real Housewives of New Jersey we open with the drama at the First Responsers Ball, where the pillars of RHONJ society congregated in their Partay Citay deluxe luxury couture vinyl posche-y firehoochie ensembles (basically this is like the MET Gala of Franklin Lakes, NJ, here people). 

Of course not everyone was in the party mood, despite the finest quality vinyl they were wearing. Amber Marchese had her hair yanked out and her husband had his authority questioned. Jim Marchese whispers in Poison’s ear (not in the way that gets the poison flowing), that he is a “dumb f***” then walked out the door. And Poison, our jr muscle man hopped out of his chair, swimming in his fireman couture, and followed Jim to demand an apology.

Jim does not fight – he’s an attorney and an upstanding citizen who will just have you arrested. Then sued. Oh yes – Jim is a grown man who does not brawl in someone’s basement wearing a low-rent version of Kappa Kappa Gamma’s Halloween party garb. Nor does Jim exchange blows on the snow covered sidewalk of a New Jersey McMansion.

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 kuwtk3

On last night’s episode of Keeping Up With the Kardashians, the girls each got the chance to show off their new McMansions. Kris Jenner and MJ got high off magic Gummi Bears and Bruce Jenner was a buzzkill. Surprise Surprise. Scott Disick got sloppy and became Scott circa Miami meltdown and Kourtney Kardashian may or may not have failed to take Khloe Kardashian to dinner before screwing her over.

Things begin with Khloe and Kourtney playing grab ass while mocking Kim Kardashian for her Vogue Cover. Really we should be mocking Anna Wintour for her poor lapse of judgment. Maybe she was high too? Kim has a case of sour grapes because her sisters didn’t drop their lives, worship her, kiss her feet, hands and ass and come to the newsstand at 5am to purchase one of the first copies of Kim’s bible cover. Khloe taunts Kim and tells her she already has her copy and reads it while she is on the john. #ToiletMaterial

Teen Mom stars Catelynn and Farrah

Ah, the miracle worker that is Dr. Jenn Berman has struck again. Not only did she cure Farrah Abraham on Couples Therapy, but now she has also ended the longtime feud between Farrah and her Teen Mom co-stars, Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra, on the Couples Therapy reunion. Gosh, is there anything that Dr. Jenn cannot do? #EyeRoll

Following the taping, Dr. Jenn tweeted, “All I am going to say is that last night’s Couples Therapy with Dr. Jenn reunion was major. It airs September 3rd and it will not disappoint.” Doug Hutchison and Courtney Stodden, Nik Richie and Shayne Lamas, and JoJo and Tiny Hailey participated in the reunion as well, but all of the gossip surrounding the taping is about the Teen Mom stars.

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Amber Marchese was a guest on Watch What Happens Live tonight, alongside actor David Arquette.  Amber dished on tonight’s episode of The Real Housewives of New Jersey

Amber defends her husband Jim Marchese from Dina Manzo saying on tonight’s episode that his level of douche was equivalent to the size of a whale’s vagina.  “I don’t think she knows my husband well enough.  She never gave him the chance or the time of day. When you know him, you love him.” 

Co-guest David Arquette remarks that the way Jim was talking down to the ladies wasn’t cool.  Amber says “you have to understand I was just attacked downstairs and we come upstairs and they’re like all trying to come at him.” 

David then tells her that Jim’s talking head interview where he spews about being a lawyer and will sue and take people down, blah blah, “also not a good look,” he says.   I love David Arquette.  But then he adds “he seems like a sweet enough guy but..” and Amber jumps in with “but watch out, he’ll sue you.”  Awkward.  She seems to be the only one who finds it funny. 

Ringling Bros. And Barnum & Bailey Presents

Rumors are abuzz that fired Real Housewives of New Jersey star Jacqueline Laurita will be back to cause major drama.

Jacqueline and sister-in-law (and fellow resurrected Housewife) Dina Manzo don’t speak after the last time they were on RHONJ together, and Dina has vowed never to do a reality show with family again. Too late because Jacqs needs the money and attention! 

Despite a public twitter feud (mostly perpetrated by Ashlee Holmes) at the beginning of the season which exposed how strained Jacqueline and Dina’s relationship is, Jacqueline’s intentions for returning to RHONJ reportedly have nothing to do with confronting Dina or getting into a public fight. And then of course there was the rumor that Dina got Jacqueline fired in the first place… 

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Real Housewives of New York reunion

As always, it has been a busy week for reality TV news, filled with ups, downs, and drama. Ramona Singer announced the end of her marriage to Mario and blamed her co-stars for Real Housewives of New York‘s low ratings. Also, Amber Marchese blasted her co-stars after the fight on Real Housewives of New Jersey, Teen Mom star Catelynn Lowell showed off her baby bump, and Adrienne Maloof explained her surprising return to Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. More photos, recaps, and reality TV news:

PHOTOS

Kim Kardashian is punking us, right?!

A lovely wedding for a beautiful bride

Brandi, Taylor, & more out and about

Peter and Kordell open new bar in NC

RECAPS

Oh boy… RHONJ is as classy as ever

Kim tried to adopt a child on KUWTK

Dance Moms: Elite vs. Cathy’s Apples

Will Benzino regret these decisions?

More delusions on RHONY reunion

The Biermanns invade Destin, Florida

Lizzie calls out Tamra in Bali on RHOC

REALITY NEWS

NeNe Leakes talks RHOA, Phaedra Parks, Apollo

Heather Dubrow isn’t happy with Vicki Gunvalson

How could she ever speak to Tamra Judge again?

So happy about this, I am obsessed with this show

Former RHOBH star facing multiple fraud charges

Heather Thomson calls Ramona a pretentious brat

Lizzie calls out TamraTamra whines about Lizzie

Is Soulja Boy joining Love & Hip Hop Los Angeles?

Carole reveals why she’s not suing Aviva Drescher

Photo Credit: Bravo

Reminder – Reality Tea’s Comment Do’s and Don’ts

kim kardashian selfie

If you follow Kim Kardashian on Instagram, you know the Keeping Up With the Kardashians star loves to take a selfie. Well now, like any good Kardashian, Kim is turning her love of selfies into some cold, hard cash.

Mrs. Kanye West recently inked a deal to publish a new book of selfies. You can pre-order yours today, but you have to wait until April 2015 to get your copy.

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Yolanda Foster Brandi Glanville

Our favorite reality TV stars cannot get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to social media to share even more of their daily lives with us. And we love them for it! Here’s a roundup of some of our favorite photos from this week! Enjoy!

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Yolanda Foster shared, “Another day at the office with Brandi Glanville. #BeverlyHills #LemonPants”

Below you will find photos from Bethenny Frankel, Melissa GorgaCaroline StanburyRyan Serhant, Kenya Moore, Shannon Beador, and more.

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