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This has been an eventful week for Farrah Abraham – she released a song that’s destined to be a Grammy contender for least decipherable lyrics, she announced that her memoir comes out next week (paging the NY Times Best Seller list), and she was accused of abusing Adderall and Xanax. All in the days life of a an adult who wants to act like a Teen Mom, I s’pose.

Well, of course Farrah is denying the accusation that she has a little problem with drugs. “These are ridiculous, untrue claims,” Farrah insists. The claims in question were made by Austin Mathouser, a teen mom herself, who won a contest to celebrate Farrah’s 21st birthday with her.

According to Farrah, Austin is just another famewhore looking for a chance at her 15 minutes. “It’s very sad that another mother would make up such stories, especially when I invited her out and treated her like a friend. In return, she was fake and wanted to make money off of hanging out with me,” Farrah fumes.

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Joan Rivers is brash, outrageous, and really really wacky. In the latest scheme from the gracefully aged star of Joan and Melissa, Joan decided to stage a little shop-in at Costco to protest the chain’s decision to not sell her raunchy memoir.

Joan’s book, “I Hate Everyone … Starting with Me,” has spent more than six weeks on the NY Times best seller list, but that doesn’t mean the family-friendly Costco chain has to carry it. Well, Joan decided that was simply unacceptable. The 79-year-old TV host arrived at a Burbank, CA store to let them know if Costco hates her, well she hates them right back.

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After wowing the world in London by winning the gold over teammate Michael Phelps in the 400 meter individual medley, Ryan Lochte continued to intrigue us with his grill, his bedroom revelations, and, let’s be honest, his abs.  If you were worried you’d have to wait four more years to see the guy, fear not!  He’s in talks to do a reality show.  Check that, he’s in several talks to figure which reality show he’s going to choose.

Ryan hasn’t been shy about saying he’d love to compete on Dancing with the Stars, so perhaps that is an option.  Michael Phelps has shared the same sentiment, even challenging his friend for the mirror ball.  According Fit Perez, Ryan’s agents reveals, “I cannot tell you the exact shows, but two different reality show concepts have been offered and one additional is being discussed.”

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Last week on Teen MomTyler Baltierra and Catelynn Lowell supported April after Butch assaulted her, Maci Bookout and Kyle King bought a house, Farrah Abraham let her boy toy Daniel meet Sophia, and Amber Portwood proved rehab did not make her a better person.

Catelynn and Tyler Stand by April

Tyler’s mom Kim urges Tyler to go to Butch’s arraignment. Kim, Tyler’s sister, Tyler, and Catelynn are eating lunch, talking about Butch. Tyler and Catelynn are done with Butch. There are a lot of feelings flying around the table. Kim finally just says, “No one is a perfect parent.”

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It’s been almost a year since Russell Armstrong‘s death and his remains have finally been laid to rest in both of his home states, Texas and California.

Although a funeral was held for Russell shortly after his death, his remains were not present and he was only recently laid to rest. Russell passed away on August 15, 2011.

According to Celebuzz the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star was cremated and following a long battle over where his ashes should be buried it was ultimately decided to divide his remains between Taylor Armstrong and his family in Texas.

Last Friday, Taylor finally laid her portion of Russell’s remains to rest at a plot in the Columbarium of Morning Hope section of the Forest Lawn Memorial Park in Hollywood Hills, CA. “Taylor was due to go through with the ceremony months ago but it was canceled at the last minute. She finally was able to say goodbye last Friday,” a source shares.

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Lord help us all, the biggest Real Housewives of New Jersey famewhore to ever hit the garden state (or Bravo) is unleashing a new book upon us. Yes, yes… if you thought the literary prowess of Danielle Staub was paltry, feast your eyes on Kim Granatell‘s attempt!

Kim’s book will detail her experiences on RHONJ of course, the implosion of her marriage, why she was so crazy, and her new life as an ex-wife starting over. I don’t think all the words in the world could explain why Kim is so nuts, but ok.

Kim says she was forced to start over once her husband left her and the show ruined her reputation, but it was all a blessing in disguise. “Everybody had the wrong idea about me because of what they saw on ‘reality’ TV,” Kim asserts. Afterwards, “I became very isolated.”

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LuAnn de Lesseps just wants to have a storyline baby, y’all. She wants to keep her much younger man by proving she’s not so close to menopause after all. Or does she?

In a new report by the Huffington Post, the Real Housewives of New York star’s MOTHER claims LuAnn doesn’t want any more kiddies because she had her tubes tied following the birth of her son Noelle. Noelle is now 16.

“Luann’s tubes were tied after her last kid,” LuAnn’s 80-year-oldish mother announced at the RHONY premiere in June. When asked to clarify, her mother was emphatic: “Her tubes are tied!”

LuAnn claims her mother was merely joking. “If she said that, it’s my mother’s way of joking,” Luann insists. This seems about as much of a joke as the Ramona Pinot caper at the Wine Olympics.

Adding, “She had seven children, and at this point, she would rather travel with me than babysit, but it’s absolutely not true.”

[Photo Credit: PNP/WENN.com]

TELL US – WHOSE TELLING THE TRUTH: THE EX-COUNTESS OR THE EX-COUNTESS’ MUMMY?

 

 

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