I guess I should have braced myself for the return of Teen Mom 2. I'd forgotten that with it would come a new media hurricane of all its "stars." I'm used to Jenelle Evans being in the tabloids 24/7/365 (I'm so 2005), but I kind of forget about the other girls when they aren't stored in my DVR.
Perhaps I need to be grateful for non-Jenellecreated drama, but I feel like it's the same story line over and over again with these girls. Guess what? Chelsea Houska is still pretending she's over douchebag and baby daddy Adam Lind while claiming that she doesn't receive help from her ever-present father. Hey, no shame in taking money from the Bank of Dad if he gives it willingly, right…even if you do have all that MTV money for doing nothing more than being totally immature, irresponsible and overly dramatic. That last sentence is not a dig a Chelsea. It's a dig at all of them.
Now, JWoww and Rog are sharing the gender of their little one. Roger took to Twitter, joking, "Been 4 years trying to figure out one girls brain. Now I get to try and figure out another one. Grey hair is in my immediate future." Oh Rog…I'm sure they make product to cover that!
And here I was thinking that Kelly Hyland was being quite passive (so far) on this season of Dance Moms. I had no idea we'll get to see her assault Abby Lee Miller–and the ensuing hearing–on an upcoming episode! Her poor daughters…hopefully Kelly's behavior will give Brooke some melancholy song-writing material. She needs a good ballad in her repertoire.
Apparently Kelly (who, as you recall is not only a crazy dance mom, but also Abby's high school nemesis), became livid when Abby continued scouting for replacement dancers and she pulled Abby's hair. Wow, this is really going back to grade school, isn't it? However, Kelly allegedly kept harassing Abby via social media, landing her with an additional charge. The judge ordered a Twitter ban for the wide-eyed dance mom. Reminds me of a Seinfeld episode…"No tweets for you!"
To start the episode, GG meets up with her sister, mortal enemy, and business partner, Leila, to talk about GG's Extensions. They're not meeting with clients, per se, but they are on Bravo. Yet Leila looks like a drowned rat and GG looks like she just came from the gym. Neither are looks I'd strive for when promoting a hair product. Anyway, Leila brings up GG's fight with MJ at Del Mar, because it's been on her mind and totally concerns her. GG points out, if Leila would stop involving herself, she wouldn't be so put out. Leila believes MJ is innocent and GG is out of control. She talked to MJ, so, of course!
GG informs Leila that MJ phoned their mother, calling GG a slut whore bitch and vowing to never be in the same room with her for the rest of her life, on the way home from Del Mar. Leila admits this is news to her, but she adds, "Since forever your story and everybody else's story rarely is the same story."
It's hard being Kim Kardashian and Kanye West, y'all! With all this talk about space honeymoons and astronaut families, you'd think the folks at Versailles would think it would be an out of this world opportunity to host the attention starved couple's wedding. I mean, they should be over the moon at the prospect, right? Surely with Kimye's celebrity wedding guest list, it will be the night of a thousand stars! Too much?
Unfortunately, the not so royal couple's plans to have their nuptials at the beyond lavish 17th century palace outside of Paris may not happen as envisioned. Is this shocking to anyone? Why would such a historic and high brow location want to be tarnished by the Kimye name? Can you even imagine Kanye's wedding toast? Go ahead and try…you know it will be epic!
Over the weekend Farrah Abraham hit the beach in Miami to play a little football…by herself..in a swimsuit. Okay, so she wasn't entirely alone – the paps she called were there, too.
Farrah hit the sand in a blue and white cut out one piece swimsuit, striking various classy poses, making sure photographers got a really good shot of her important features. Because bent over is her best angle, apparently.
If you need another Farrah fix, she'll be back tomorrow night on Couples Therapy. You don't want to miss a minute, trust us! Plus we have some more shots of her in our photo roundup tonight – with one creeptastic pic you don't want to pass up.
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