Confession: I was obsessed with Pretty Wicked Moms last summer. Lifetime described the cast – Emily Boulden,Nicole Noles, Nicole Bennett, Marci Gold, Meredith Underwood, and Miranda Carlson – as six competitive moms breaking the molds of traditional motherhood with sky high stilettos and sassy attitudes. Um. The show was a complete train wreck. And must see TV.
I liked Nicole B the most, but Emily and Nicole N were the breakout stars of the series. Emily, mommy to Amzie and owner of the fashion boutique Swank, and Nicole, dog mommy to Sommer and Emily's best friend, are self-absorbed and out of touch with reality. In other words – reality TV gold. Which is why I'm not surprised to learn that they have scored their own reality TV show.
After calling out Lisa for regretting to her painting party at the last minute, Yolanda feels the need to defend herself after what happened in Andy Cohen's clubhouse last week. She begins, 'First, I wanted to clear up Brandi's jab at me with her tweet while I was on WWHL saying I cancelled dinner plans with her. It surprised me because it would have been justified if I had been a hypocrite and cancelled plans with her and instead taken a business meeting that was more important — but that’s absolutely not what happened! I cancelled because I was dealing with my crying child across the country in NY who was just diagnosed with a disease we were trying to figure out. This is something I shared with B in good faith — but not something I wanted to share with all of you because that’s my daughter’s privacy. But since Brandi brought it up on national TV, I feel I have to clarify the situation."
This is so, so rich. The two most upstanding ladies that MTV has introduced us to courtesy of Teen Mom are feuding over who is the better (worse?) mom to the children they very rarely see. One of them has a penchant for pregnancies while the other has a predilection for porn.
I bet you can't even guess of whom I'm speaking, can you? Bwahahaha! I'm kiddding, of course. We all know the only logical fame whores battling on social media could only be Jenelle Evans and Farrah Abraham. Farrah mades some back handed comments about how fertile Jenelle is, and Jenelle retorted, citing Farrah's backdoor aptitude for surgery and having the paps on speed dial. Man, this is amazingly bad. See you later brain cells!
If you can't figure this blind gossip item out, you're visiting the wrong reality TV website, my friends! They are serving us this one on a silver platter!
"She’s a conniving counselor, said to have dodged a Whitney Houston beatdown! Our tipster says the late legendary songstress snapped when she found out this BOP was secretly smashing Bobby Brown! We’re told it all went down back when our blind item subject was representing Bobby Brown, during his child support hearings. We’re told she didn’t only play her BOP role for Bobby, she did the same for Mystical too! She calls herself a Southern Bell, but to others she’s known as “Southern Bell-hopper” — on bended knees, serving up the likes of Mannie Fresh and Bryan “Birdman” Williams at Patchwerk Studios. Some say she’s the “head doctor” of Atlanta. But our source tells us that’s a lie. Don’t believe me… just ask Chuck Smith. Now, can you guess the rotten peach I’m talking about?"
Aaaaahhhh Kristen Doute, one-part hoochie mama, one-part crazy, one-part atrociously bad employee, one-part drama queen, and one-part REALLY, REALLY, REALLY bad decision maker! She's one helluva a potent Molotov cocktail!
Of course Kristen denied it. A lot. Even when all evidence pointed to the contrary. But somebody called Sherlock and Law & Order style Kristen got cornered and confessed. Yep, the kitty is out of the bag: Kristen banged Jax – and liked it!
Before we dive into that heavy stuff, we have to see Reza talk Golnesa "GG" Gharachedaghi through putting a suppository up her butt to curb motion sickness. Because 1) the Shahs of Susnet are going yachting. 2) Sea-Bands or Ginger Root wouldn't make for good TV.
Reza offers to help, because they're totally BFFs again, "Loch-nesa and I are so close now that actually putting something in her butt doesn't seem as alarming to me as it should." Oh Reza, you slay me. Only, not. Go away. GG carries on, screaming about her backdoor being exit only, but she figures it out.