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Could Farrah Abraham be the next Kim Kardashian?

I really hope not. I seriously doubt that many people will ever care to Keep Up With The Abrahams. However, for reasons I'll never understand, a lot of people cared to Keep Up With Farrah's Backdoor.

Whole. Body. Shudder. For real. 

According to TMZ's sources, Farrah's video, Farrah Superstar: Backdoor Teen Mom, attracted more than two million viewers in just 12 hours. Crazy, right? In comparison, Kim K Superstar garnered a piddly 600,000 views in the same time frame. In response to the news, the former Teen Mom star tweeted:

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Last night on Don't Be Tardy the Zolciak-Biermann fam wrestled with parenting roles and expectations. It seems that Brielle is a child after Kim Zolciak's heart and by that I mean, well… Brielle needs a bit of guidance!

Things begin with Brielle's math tutor showing up. I'm guessing Bravo casting scoured the neo-Reganite Young Republicans club and found the most traditionally "square" looking kid, begged him to come sit at Kim's house and pretend to tutor Brielle in math. I hope they warned him that he may be treated to an eyefull of Kim's lactating boobs, or Kim's boobs bursting out of an ill-fitting top. 

Kim harasses "Phillip" about following Brielle on twitter and allegedly stalking her because he's a fan of Kim. AHAHA! Yeah right. Kim wishes. "As if I would ever let a fan up in my house," Kim tells us. She seems way too devoted to knowing which of Brielle's classmates are interested in her. The answer: none. Is Kim repeating Karen's behaviors now that Brielle is getting older?

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Photo Credit: Aaron Gilbert / WENN.com

 

Us Weekly Annual Hot Hollywood Style Issue event

It's a hard life when you're Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' Kyle Richards.  Doing a reality show for Bravo isn't easy, and being put in the middle of your friends' drama (when you've never wanted to be in the center of it–EVER) makes things difficult.

Thankfully, Kyle has learned to cope with her feelings by talking to any media outlet that will listen.  For Kyle, the reunion was especially contentious…one might even call it "torture."  Well, Kyle calls it torture, so there's that.  Woe is Splits!

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The executive producer of Dance Moms, Jeff Collins, is back to host the crazy tell-all that is the Dance Moms Season 3 reunion.  Bless him.  He thinks he can wrangle in Abby Lee Miller and the drama fueled moms who trust Abby to teach their daughters.  He looks heavily medicated…as he should be for the task.  It's part one of two-part reunion, y'all!

A hoarse Abby is first to join Jeff on stage.  Does she ever have a voice?  Jeff brings up some of her more memorable altercations this season…like when she was yelled at by a Candy Apple dance dad and got into it with Kathy.  Abby is quick to remind Jeff that she was "verbally assaulted" by said dance dad and "physically assaulted" by Kathy.  Semantics?  Eh, it's a tough call.  He wants to do word association, and Abby is quick to call Kelly "foolish" and Christi "evil."  Melissa is "sly like a fox" while Kathy's purse (the one from the aforementioned assault) is "heavy, sharp, hurtful" among other things.  In the green room, the moms play their own game.

ABBY LEE CAUGHT ON VIDEO SPILLING BEHIND-THE-SCENES GOSSIP

When questioned about Melissa's new loyalty to the mothers this season, Abby cites disappointment in Melissa putting her need to be accepted above her daughters' success.  Melissa joins Abby on stage to talk about her wedding.  She admits that she wanted the ceremony filmed for the show, but she respected her husband's wishes to keep their day private.  As the audience asks questions, the other moms are reacting backstage.  Even the reunion is scripted!  Geez Louise!

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So apparently I wasn't the only one watching Bravo's newest reality show Newlyweds: The First Year.  I had 999,999 of my closest friends watching with me…give or take a few!

The series, which follows four couples through their first year of marriage, premiered on Monday night with three of the four pairs saying their "I dos" in lavish ceremonies.  The show promises to document the ups and downs of family, finances, sex, and the major adjustment that is the first year of marriage.  

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Teresa Giudice Signs Copies Of Her Book

With the launch of her new cookbook, Fabulicious!: On the Grill: Teresa's Smoking Hot Backyard Recipes, Teresa Giudice is hard at work promoting it (and her new olive oil)!  Here's the Real Housewives of New Jersey star attending a book signing at Mendham Books in New Jersey yesterday, the official release day. Today she'll be making an appearance on Wendy Williams and on The Couch show.

Mrs. Juicy's book is whipping some book-selling butt on Amazon. 

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TELL US – DID YOU A BUY A COPY? DO YOU PLAN TO?

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Teen Mom 2 has come to an end, and while we don't know if it's forever or just for now, it's time for the cast to talk about their troubles with Dr. Drew Pinsky.

This is Teen Mom, where "promising futures gave way to daily struggles, such as poverty, addiction, family breakdowns, absentee fathers, and revolving door boyfriends," says Dr. Drew. "The pressures and responsibilities of motherhood can be catastrophic." Then, to prove his point, the TV doctor welcomes Leah Messer Simms Calvert, Chelsea Houska, Kailyn Lowry, and Jenelle Evans to the stage and reminds us what happened this season.

Leah flip flopped between Corey Simms and Jeremy Calvert, but her Magic 8 ball ultimately told her to marry Jeremy. Also, Corey and Leah searched for answers for little Ali. Chelsea and Adam Lind hooked up sans birth control but avoided a second pregnancy. Then, hell froze over, and Chelsea realized that Adam is no good for her. #hallelujah

Kail fought with Jo Rivera. Kail fought with Javi Marroquin. Kail fought with anyone with a pulse. Kail and Javi got married… military benefits, yo!… Jenelle left her military man, Gary Head, after he beat her up and reunited with her pot head, Kieffer Delp, after he wooed her with the green hoodie. Sadly, Kieffer introduced Jenelle to heroin. 

Phew. Let the healing begin. 

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