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I don't know about y'all but I am totally loving Real Housewives of Miami thus far. I don't know why; it's got a fun vibe, a rich vibe, and a kooky one. So that means next season someone will be a suicidal drug addict who escapes from Promises welding a stiletto as a weapon and is on a homicidal rampage after plastic surgery made her a cyclops and her AMEX Black Card was cut up at the Saks White Sale because her husband declared bankruptcy after it came out that he was selling aftermarket implants. Anyone that gets the Troop Beverly Hills nod in this sentence wins my eternal love. 

Anyway, enough about my super secret gift as a medium (watch it Alison DuBois – I'm comin' for you electronic cig blazing!), let's talk shop and get to the recap. 

Things begin with gossip before breakfast – or maybe it was lunch – I couldn't tell. Alexia Echevarria comes over to Ana Quincoces' house to discuss the delusions of Karent Sierra. See Karent isn't just clueless about how to spell "Karen," she's also clueless about boyfriend Rodolpho's definition of the word "boyfriend." 

Alexia does not like Karent right off the bat, she thinks she is icy and aloof. I agree. Something about her just doesn't translate well. Ana just seems to think it's odd that Karent is completely in the dark about Rodolpho's texting habits. 

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Sexy Dancing with the Stars pro Maksim Chmerkovskiy is ready to move on to the next phase of his life.

Maks announced today that he will not return to Dancing with the Stars after his contract expires at the end of next year. So, that means he's still obligated to bring the eye candy to All Stars, plus 2 more seasons (spring and fall). 

“What else do I have to do there after 15 seasons?” Maks said. “It makes total sense. The audience can’t expect for me to want to stick around, and the producers can’t expect for me to want to stick around.”

While there is no love lost between Maks and the DWTS's judges, Maks tweeted he has "nothing but love, gratitude, and respect" for everyone who has been a part of his Dancing with the Stars career. Maks referred to the time as an "amazing aspect" of his life. 

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Reason #549 that I'm grateful social media wasn't around when I was growing up! 

Kylie Jenner shared this little gem:

It's pretty obvious that it's just water, but still.  Gross.

 

Photo credit: Kylie's Twitter

 

Well, I never thought I'd see the day that a Real Housewife of any sort graced the pages of Vogue Magazine but apparently hell froze over when I wasn't looking and pigs have replaced planes as the flying objects in the sky, because Ms. NeNe Leakes has landed herself in the mag!

Appearing with the cast of The New Normal, her new hit sitcom, the Real Housewives of Atlanta star poses next to co-star Ellen Barkin looking fantastic. Mad props, Ms. Neen and in the words of RuPaul: "Werq!" Dare I say – does this make her the most successful Housewife beating out even Bethenny Frankel

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Photo Credit: Richard McLaren/Lifetime

Could it be? Am I dreaming?  Is a reality star actually taking responsibility for his actions?  I simply can't believe it.  Just can't.  Flipping Out's Jeff Lewis is the last guy I would expect to be so frank when talking about his friends, co-workers, and boyfriend, Jenni Pulos, Zoila Chavez, and Gage Edward.  Even more so, he's the last person I would imagine would watch this season and actually reflect…and on his own behavior at that!  Perhaps he should lead his own self-help group!

After watching part of the season, Jeff admitted that stress may have caused him to act out in an unbecoming manner.  He flat out says that from a personal growth standpoint, this definitely wasn't his best season.  I'm sorry…what?  It's almost as if he's speaking a different language!  What happened to blaming everyone around you for how you're portrayed?  Duh, that is Reality 101!

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Yeah, you have to love when someone becomes all about self-help.  It's even more entertaining when that person is Chad Johnson.  Don't get me wrong, I have thought for a long time that Chad is a total d-bag, and his domestic incident with Basketball Wives' Evelyn Lozada certainly exacerbated that.  Bless him.  It appears that Mr. Ochocinco is learning a lot from calf tattoos and shame.

The former NFL star–and former husband, for that matter–is taking steps to improve his self-image temper.  Taking a page from every violent celebrity's playbook, Chad has enrolled in anger management counseling.  Good for him?

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They're rich, they're fabulous – wait, no that's only some of them. Anyway Real Housewives of Beverly Hills returns! In its third season Bravo welcomes new Housewives and brings back some of the old favorites. Some we want to see back (Lisa, Lisa, Lisa!) and some… well yeah, we're a little less excited about.  

Returning November 5th, the ladies of Beverly Hills are brining big drama and big bucks. New Housewife Yolanda Hadid joins the cast, which features veterans Kim Richards (newly sober and looking good), Kyle Richards (aka Splits), Lisa Vanderpump, Taylor Armstrong, and Adrienne Maloof. Signing on as an official Housewife is Brandi Glanville who replaces the now 'friend of Housewives' Camille Grammer

Also joining the group as a friend of the housewives is Marisa Zanuck! Let's meet the cast!

CLICK CONTINUE READING FOR THE CAST PHOTOS!  

 

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