Aaaahhh… Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. There comes a time in every recappers tenure when she is just beyond blown away by what appeared before them on the screen. And taking one's mother-in-law to Hustler and grinding on them has knocked me over.
Carlton Gebbia takes her hubby David along with her mother-in-law to Hustler to choose lingerie for her "playroom". Listen – I mean the storyline is gross as is, but you couldn't pick a classier place than Hustler?
Carlton is like thongs – no big – my mum-in-law has pulled babies out my vagina. Then she proceeds to educate MIL on what "DTF" means and huffs the F— word in the ladies face like she's going to vampire her. This is a preclude to the main event where Carlton puts on a teeny-tiny bikini and drops it like it's hot on her MIL's lap. Apparently her MIL accepts Carlton because David loves her. David needs inpatient therapy.
She begins by putting her childless co-stars in their place, writing, "Kenya and Porsha have no clue about parenting, so let's just let them stay in their room and do their fake hug and cry. I love it! Moving on!"
Taking a dig at Apollo Nida, NeNe continues, "As Phaedra said, 'I have had problems with my son.' Now Phaedra you are entitled to your opinion, but the facts remain, you don't know anything about my children. Have you ever met Bryson? If so, it couldn’t have been but once. Remember you have two young boys to raise! Let's pray they don't do six years in prison, because you know the apple doesn't fall far from the tree." I mean, is the sun even out anymore? Shade, shade, shade!
Well, dare I say that that some of the folks at Oh No They Didn't! may have a bit too much time on their hands? That, or someone at the site has the tragic (or fabulously awesome–I can't decide) job of monitoring Jenelle Evans every move on social media and dissecting them in light of her arrest record and the upcoming Teen Mom 2trailer.
Of course, as the age-old saying goes, "You can't out-twitter a tw@t twit" (or something like that) and now Jenelle is firing back at In Touch for picking up the story that claims she's been drinking during her pregnancy. You'll be totally shocked to learn this is all going down–where else?–Twitter.
I have sad news to share with fans ofTia & Tamera – there won't be a season four of the show!
Tamera Mowry-Housley confirmed via Twitter that she and sister Tia Mowry will be ending their reality show after three seasons so they can move on to other projects.
The news comes on the heels of Tamera's talk show "The Real" getting picked up and launching nationwide after a successful test run earlier this year. She co-stars on the talk show with Tamar Braxton, Adrienne Bailon and others.
If you thought Carlton Gebbia's sexcapades have been bad in previous weeks ("girlfriend kiss", flirting with the nanny, and of course "mommy and daddy's playroom") – this week will surely get your panties in a bunch!
Trying to push Brandi Glanville off her throne as Real Housewives of Beverly Hills' most controversial Housewife, Carlton takes her husband and her mother-in-law shopping at a lingerie store and proceeds to give ol' mummy dearest a little action! Carlton, seriously – don't try so hard!
Last night was thriving on the cul-de-sac with the return of Sister Wives and, more importantly, Kody Brown's hair. Everyone is thrilled to be in their homes, and everything is as it should be. Kody can run from house to house–it's the best exercise routine ever! The wives are glad that the kids are in such close proximity, but the ladies are still as independent as ever…in other words, they still despise one another. Even with a commitment ceremony looming, the women's interactions are incredibly awkward.
Now that some of the older kids are preparing for college, the family believes that a discussion about a tuition budget should be at the forefront. Kody is anti-student loans. He doesn't want his kids to have any college debt, as if that's entirely feasible. Thanks for reminding me of my debilitating law school debt, Kodster! With Meri about to be an empty nester and Mariah wanting to go to a much pricier school, Kody thinks Meri should shoulder more of the financial obligation.
Robyn has Meri's back, but Kody isn't budging. They call in Mariah to share "their reality," and Christine informs the high school senior that her full time job should be trying to find scholarships. With seventeen kids, no one should get a full ride. A tearful Mariah (when is she not tearful?) explains that she wants to reconnect with her Mormon faith. Janelle wants Mariah to be able to go to the school of her choice. Kody doesn't seem to be onboard with this wife mutiny, and he reminds everyone that he's the common denominator with the children. He's such a prize.