On this week’s episode of The Real Housewives of Melbourne, Chyka Keebaugh has invited all the ladies to a much-needed beach getaway. Jackie Gillies and Lydia Schiavello kick things off with a shopping spree to stock up on zebra-patterned caftans from a nearby caftan specialty boutique (these exist). Lydia models a modest Grecian dress and a Jackie steps out in a teeny, tiny leopard-print mini spandex dress and aptly pokes fun at herself by saying she looks like “a stick with big tits”. Ha! Meanwhile, Lydia can only muster, “Oh Wow” (remember, she is just sooooo articulate) the entire time they shop.
Andrea Moss finishes up her packing, ensures her nanny has the 735-point checklist and off they go to airport where the group will be taking private helicopters to Queensland for their vacay. Surprise, surprise Gina Liano is late. Again. Janet Roach is about to cut a b*#%h if Gina doesn’t arrive in like 5 seconds. Gina rolls up (how many colbalt blue dresses can one have in their wardrobe anyway??!!) and is hoping everyone is chill for the trip.
Teresa and Joe ended up pleading to 4 and 5 counts respectively with Teresa possibly serving up to 27 months in prison. Their sentencing was just delayed again until October 2nd. This is really going to mess up Bravo’s filming plans isn’t it? They’re hoping to capture Teresa and Joe’s sentencing for the season finale, of course.
This weekend Alexis Bellino renewed her vows to Jim Bellino in an over-the-top wedding that wasn’t a wedding on David Tutera‘s CELEBrations. And I can see why all of Alexis’ Real Housewives of Orange County castmates couldn’t stand her because Alexis needs sedatives – or some sort of psychiatric drugs. She constantly throws tantrums and is mega attention seeking!
Alexis wants David at her beck and call and treats him like ‘the help’. Two queens don’t make a right! To add to the drama, David is also in the middle of planning his daughter Cielo’s first birthday party and is strapped for time.
Jim surprised Alexis with the concept of a ten-year anniversary renewal by hiring poor to David show up at their house unannounced while Alexis was ‘reading’ the Bible (translation: looking at a children’s picture book version of a Bible while wearing knock-off Chanel). Jim’s surprise gift is that he wants the party to be in a week and he wants something classy and elegant – the irony of classy and elegant being used to describe anything related to Alexis does not escape me. Or David, who smirks at the correlation.
As always, it’s been a busy week for reality TV news, filled with ups and downs. First and foremost, our condolences go out to Melissa Rivers on the loss of her mother, Joan Rivers. A true legend, Joan will be missed by many.
I interrupt your weekend to bring you this truly gag inducing story. Plus, we can never get enough of the Kardashians, right? I kid, I kid. Clearly, they can’t get enough of themselves, and Kim’s recent nekkid GQ shoot is just more of the same for this crew.
The other day we asked what you thought of Kim’s bare bum and fake tan (missed it? Check it out after the jump! You’re welcome). I thought the picture alone was bad. I was so, so, so wrong. Along with the photograph, Kim also gave an interview in which she brags about her sex life with husband Kanye West, hints about another potential sex tape (she does love to star in those, doesn’t she?), and reveals that Vogue editor Anna Wintour put her stamp of approval on North’s creative name. Poor Anna. She’s losing cool points left and right these days!
Our favorite reality TV stars cannot get enough of the spotlight during their regularly scheduled time slots, so they take to social media to share even more of their daily lives with us. And we love them for it! Here’s a roundup of some of our favorite photos from this week! Enjoy!
Above: A bikini-clad Bethenny Frankel asked, “Should I buy this peanut Ferrari for my peanut? Isn’t it cute?!!”
Thursday’s new cast reveal did not impress me, but I will tune in to cheer on my favorite pro dancers. When did the pros become a bigger draw than the stars?! That said, I remember not knowing much about Emmitt Smith, Gilles Marini, Donald Driver, and Zendaya beyond their profession, but I grew to love each of them on their season. So I hope the same happens this time around.
Below are photos of the stars – Antonio Sabato Jr, Betsey Johnson, Alfonso Ribeiro, Janel Parrish, Lolo Jones, Tommy Chong, Bethany Mota, Randy Couture, Michael Waltrip, Sadie Robertson, Tavis Smiley, Lea Thompson, and Jonathan Bennett – with their pro partners. This coming Monday brings us the Bachelor in Paradise finale – who’s watching that hot mess?!? – then the new season of Dancing with the Stars kicks off Monday, September 15.