Love and light, readers, love and light. What do you do when one of the housewives franchises has become beyond toxic? Well, if we're talking about Real Housewives of New Jersey, you'd bring back the most controversial woman ever…prostitution whoreDanielle Staub.
The former stripper, singer, stage mom, perpetual victim, and employer of personal security is set to return in the upcoming season to set the record straight about all the drama she was reportedly stirring up behind the scenes with Melissa Gorga about the table-flipping Teresa Giudice. Now, I am terrified of Danielle. I wouldn't want to meet her or her "friend" Danny in any sort of dark alley situation, that's for sure. However, this new twist could be very interesting.
Will Danielle side with the one woman who hated her the most in an epic effort to take down a shiny sister-in-law? Will Danny return to intimidate Poison Gorga while plotting to bring an end to the Manzos and their blk water? Can we get Ashlee Holmes back for an episode or two to rip out more of Danielle's weave? Oh, the possibilities are endless.
Last night's Flipping Out continued the insanity with Jeff Lewis, Jenni Pulos, Gage Edward, Zoila Chavez, and crazy Andrew. Actually though, the episode was really sad. It seems to be the downfall of Jenni and Jeff's friendship, which of course would mean the demise of their long-time working relationship. There is jealousy and deception from both sides, and if it continues, it's easy to see why it was so easy for Jeff to slap Jenni with that lawsuit. It was actually kind of heartbreaking to watch.
Right off the bat, Zoila announces her fake pregnancy while Jenni's alter ego Deb calls Eddie the carpenter. She's hilarious. Just start with the craziness…do not pass go, do not collect two hundred dollars. Poor Eddie is stuck coaching t-ball while getting hazed by Deb. Jeff loves that Jenni doesn't care at all about what people think of her. Jenni and Jeff head out to their project. Jeff is surprised to learn that Jenni wants to start trying to get pregnant immediately. She gives us a quick lesson on how to make a baby. Jeff isn't ready for a Jenni pregnancy. He still hasn't recovered from Jenni's wedding. They arrive at Jeanne's house, and poor Jenni plays a prank on her husband Tommy Shaw, front man of Styx. Jeff feels like he's doing a lot of free consultations for Jeanne to repay Tommy for singing for free at Jenni's wedding. Jeanne hasn't asked for the extra perks, but Jeff feels guilty that Jenni took advantage of their clients. Jeff tries his hardest to convince Jeanne that she needs to do further renovations to increase their property value.
Jenni, Jeff, and Vanina are discussing Jeff's new paint line. He and Gage are partnering with paint company Dunn-Edwards. Jenni hopes he'll name a color after her and call it Cougar. The rest of the names they come up with I would blush if I had to type here. DTF is the tamest of them all. At Spring Oak, Gage and Jeff are awaiting a representative from Dunn-Edwards to come meet with them about the line. Gage is hoping that the paint will be a new form of revenue that will free up Jeff to start thinking about starting a family. Jenni is all dolled up for the meeting, and both she and Gage are hoping Jeff won't make things uncomfortable for the rep with his inappropriate humor. The group toasts the deal, and Jeff starts in on paint names. Gage is freaking out about the names, as he should be.
I could barely type that title with a straight face. Yes, you read that right. Kim Kardashian is heading off to the Middle East next week for two Millions of Milkshakes store openings and plans to meet up with local political leaders to get some schooling on deep issues. Like bigger issues than which self-portrait to send out on Instagram to your five million adoring followers. Or sharing how awesome your side-part is today. Or the dolphin in your backyard.
Kim is heading to Kuwait and Bahrain next week and is hoping to learn a little about the unrest in the Middle East – in between her appearances at Millions of Milkshakes. A "source close to Kim" (on TMZ this is code for Kris Jenner) tells the site, "Kim wants to be as informed as possible … so she can use her celebrity to help those in need and raise awareness about important issues in the area."
Last night's Teen Mom 2 brought tears, tears, and more tears. Leah Messer finds that a reconciliation is not in the cards, while Jenelle Evans continues to screw up her life one failed drug test at a time. Kailyn Lowry can't understand why Jo Rivera is playing her. It's totally different than when she did it to him! Finally, poor Chelsea Houska. I think all that bleach has permanently affected her brain and her judgment. Who am I kidding? I am giving her hair dye far too much credit!
We begin the episode with Leah. She's upset that estranged husband Corey Simms doesn't want to try to salvage their relationship. She only cheated once, so what is the big deal? Their twins are precious, but they are even cuter when they are biting their mom. Leah receives an e-mail from her attorney about a settlement agreement. Also not wanting to reconcile is Jo with his ex Kailyn. Kailyn is sad that Jo has moved on with his own video vixen, but at least her bestie is home from college to keep her company. She tells her friend about her love triangle with Jo and Jordan, as well as her non-existent relationship with her mom. It's been five months since the pair has talked, so Kailyn calls her. After being sent to her mother's voicemail, Kailyn has Isaac leave a giggling message of nonsense before she talks. She doubts she'll get a call in return.
Chelsea is thinking about quitting her job at the tanning bed. I don't think she's thought this through. How is she going to maintain that natural orange glow throughout the winter months? I am also confused as to what kind of headdress she is sporting. Oh wait, that's her actual hair. WTH? Doesn't she want to go to beauty school? Who would let her color their hair after seeing what she does to her own? Chelsea and Adam Lind are hot and heavy again, despite Chelsea's best efforts to take things slow. Bwahahahaha! Adam arrives, and Chelsea begins the requisite baby talk we've all grown to loathe. With her twentieth birthday being the following day, Chelsea requests her gift from Adam. It's a promise ring. He promises not to be as much of a d-bag as in season's past. It's a start. Baby Aubree bursts into tears at her mother's excitement. Smart kid!
Last night on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills we were treated to a feast of crazy. Newbie Yolanda Foster tells us her biggest problem in life is having too many lemons about her house (she has an orchard of lemon trees), and after last night's dinner party I think that very well may be the case. Sometimes friendships go sour, and sometimes sour grapes ruin a friendship before it even begins.
Things begin with Kim Richards getting her youngest daughter Kimberly ready for prom. Kim is breathless with anxiety and is taking out her stress by molesting a vat of chicken salad for 100 while Kimberly gets her hair done. Kim comes out with this bowl that weighs as much as she does and sets it down in the middle of some banquet feast saying she just wants everything to be perfect.
It was literally the chicken salad that ate Kim Richards and she was running her fingers through it, caressing it, just praying on this chicken mess that everything would go perfectly.
Kimberly's boyfriend shows up and he's 20 to her 16. What?! Maybe they should stay home and eat chicken salad. How exactly did this man meet this teenager and who exactly is condoning this? Well, besides Bravo and Kim, obviously. I'll try not to judge… I have to say I cannot get over how gorgeous Kimberly is and how much she looks like a young Kim.
With Thanksgiving just two days away, I must give thanks for the technology that allows me a live stream of Jenelle EvansandCourtland Rogers watching Teen Mom 2. Amazing, right? Before last night's UStream event, Jenelle tweeted, "Courtland gave me a HUGE surprise today. I'm so in love and you will see the surprise on UStream!!"
After listening to Jenelle and Courtland discuss last night's Teen Mom 2 for what felt like eons, Jenelle announced that she and Courtland are engaged! She added, “I’m not pregnant, but there is a reason behind why he got engaged to me. If you knew the reason, you would understand why we are taking this step. I hope you guys are happy for us.”
Last Wednesday, Jenelle sent out a twitpic that sparked engagement rumors. The backstory… Jenelle and Courtland went to the mall. While Jenelle ate her lunch and stressed that her missing-at-the-mall boyfriend was cheating on her, Courtland secretly bought several carats of diamonds. Needless to say, all cheating worries were forgotten when Courltand surprised Jenelle with the rings. Jenelle tweeted a picture of the rings, explaining that they were "just you're my girlfriend" rings. Less than a week later, there's a new ring and an official engagement.
Both Joanna and Romain shared their news and reactions to the breakup with In Touch. (Why InTouch? Next time call us, Joanna!) She explains, “We got in a huge fight, and I just pretty much got fed up with it. He loves me to death, he wants to be with me, but there’s something that’s holding him from committing 100 percent. It’s been more than five years, we don’t have a wedding date set … Nothing was going to change.”