On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey, the ladies of Jersey continued to fragment – but surprisingly so did the men! There was drunken debauchery, poison expulsion, and a fight! Oh, Joe G-to-the-iudice, why you such a mess?
Things begin with Jacqueline Laurita throwing the wayward Hatley Holmes out of the house. Except, Ashlee’s hatless now – she’s Lohan-esque instead (I would call her Injectibles Holmes, but people might think I’m talking about Jacqueline). Anyway, Jacs didn’t seem at all sad to see her go. And poor, once-promising Albie Manzo was sentenced to drive Ashlee to the airport. In the car she whines and fussed about flying and begs the aeronautics gods to make her 21 so she can get wasted before her flight. Then she brags about the time she drank a bottle of cough syrup through a straw to ease her fear of flying. That’s not completely cracktastic or anything! #rehab.
Albie compares Ashlee to Ke$ha but I think that’s too generous because at least Ke$ha has some semblance of talent (maybe?) and a career of some undeserved recognition.
Melissa Gorga pays a visit to Non-Juicy Joe where he is hard at work overseeing the development of buildings. She’s wearing some sort of tight, mini dress and Joe gooses her as they tour the facilities. Joe owns three buildings on the same street – one for each of their children. Melissa doesn’t get a building – she gets Joe and his poison instead. #luckygirl #sarcasm. They reminisce about a time when they had no money to buy diapers and were poor, poor while Joe was developing his buildings.
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On last night’s Mob WivesKaren found yet another endeavor, and Drita impressed us with her ability to throw down a rhyme. Also impressive? That Renee has kept it together for yet another episode!
Renee Graziano exits her father’s status hearing. She calls Big Ang to reveal how hard it was as her family members and friends ignored her. Her father was in poor health, but he was happy to see Renee there to support him, which made her feel better about such an icky situation. I must say I am impressed to see how well Renee is keeping it together.
Big Ang and her sister Janine head to get some Botox. While she is no stranger to plastic surgery (duh) and injections, it’s her first foray into Botox. It is much more painful than she could have imagined, but she is beyond pleased with the results. Her doctor tries to discourage her from getting extra injections, but Big Ang is addicted. She lurves it.
Remember when Amber Portwood was evicted while in jail for allegedly lying about her income to qualify for low-income state subsidized housing? Well, the government of Indiana is reportedly furious that the Teen Momtrainwreck star conned them and they want their money back! Amber was renting a home subsidized by the state’s Rental Housing Tax Credit Program. A program that provides lower-income housing for those in need.
Amber under-estimated her income by about $270,000 to qualify for the program, claiming she made only $10k last year. Unfortunately, Amber earned a whopping $280,000. Sadly, I imagine most of it was spent on legal fees! Upon learning of her income discrepancy scam, the company she was renting from promptly evicted Amber.
And took the matter to court! Predictably Amber never even bothered to reply to the company’s lawsuit, which accused her of lying about her income. In response an Indian judge ruled in the company’s favor and according to TMZ, ordered Amber pay the company $673 within 30 days or face further legal action. Oh, Amber…
It wouldn’t beThe Bachelorette without douchey suitors and plenty of drama. Emily Maynard may have been a diva, demanding producers only cast totally amazing guys, but that doesn’t mean she’s exempt from getting a ratings grabbing dud! Hey, it is reality TV after all! And dating – two things that are notorious for their calamities.
Unfortunately for Emily, it seems one of her finalists has a previous relationship with one the show’s producers – who was also very involved in the casting process for Emily’s season! While ABC has not officially released the names of Emily’s guys, rumored top four pick indie car racer Arie LuydendykJr once dated Cassie Lambert, a female producer for The Bachelorette. Upon learning Arie’s history, Emily is reportedly “very pissed off,” according to WetPaint.
Emily shouldn’t worry because Cassie and Arie’s romance ended long ago and Cassie is currently engaged to another producer on the show! But Emily can’t get past the odd connection. “Arie has definitely been a front-runner so far,” an insider reveals. “Emily’s developed serious feelings for him.”
Speaking to HollywoodLife, the self-titled Queen of Mean hints that tonight’s episode is quite explosive, as she comes to verbal blows with her teammate! “Let’s just say me and Clay Aikenexplode at Dayana [Mendoza] so loudly, we renamed our team Team Chernobyl,” Lisa hints. “We have the biggest eruption.”
“I feel like I’m finally vindicated,” Lisa continues. “A man, or as close to a man as Clay can be considered, is going to be backing me up and saying, ‘Wow, Lisa was right all along.’ I saw him yelling at her in the preview, and I was like, ‘You go, Blanche from The Golden Girls!’” Um… why is Lisa so impressed with her cruelty towards people. She does realize she’s embarrassing herself on national TV?
So tonight is the second episode in the epic fourth season of Real Housewives of New Jersey. While the filming took place months ago, the ladies have still not recovered from slights, bruised egos, and cookbook insults. #OliveGardenGate2012. Let’s make this a thing on Twitter, people!
Apparently, all the drama, which has been dangling like a sequined bikini in front of her Jersey-loving noses, has paid off big-time in the form of ratings. Last week’s RHONJ season premiere was the highest rated premiere in Bravo history with over 3 million viewers tuning into watch the ‘when you’re here you’re family fest.’ In fact, last Sunday was Bravo’s best-rated night in network history, according to TV By The Numbers, with the network ranking as the highest watched channel in the 18-49 age range. Wow!
I guess no matter how much complaining I do about the trashiness overtaking the shows, it’s not gonna change because people are watching—big time!
Proving that the drama will continue, the ladies of NJ took to their Bravo blogs to talk last Sunday’s episode and do what they do best—complain about each other! Gotta love public venting!
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