I feel like I need to pull out my Sweet Valley High slam book for the fiasco that was Sunday'sReal Housewives of Atlanta. Most likely to spend her life barefoot and pregnant? Oh, wait, she left the show for her own spin-off…Best looking? Let's ask the folks over at Miss America USA if pretty is as crazy does. As for biggest mouth, I think we can all agree that NeNe Leakes will own what she says–and twist it accordingly to serve her purpose.
This week the Neenster got into a war of words with Phaedra Parks and her special skills. While I'm sure she was known for her oral arguments in law school, NeNe insinuated that Phaedra had other oral accomplishments back in high school. Ladies, ladies, can't we all just get along?
While they hung out by the pool in Palm Springs, Joyce revealed that she can't swim, which prompted Brandi to fire off with "you're a black person". Brandi then tried to jokingly explain that her black friends would've laughed at that because they, too, won't get in the water, fearing getting their weaves wet. Brandi's castmates were shocked by her generalizations and fans reacted, calling her a racist.
Andy Cohen said to Brandi, "As you can imagine I got a buttload of Tweets for you, wanting to know what you were thinking. Kenya Moore, Atlanta Housewife Tweeted 'not all black women wear hair weaves, half the women on Beverly Hills Housewives are wearing some fake hair. Brandi could not be more ignorant.' "
As I expected, Reza lashes out at Mike, "How audacious are you to call me to uninvite me to a disgusting float that's an embarrassment to the gay community. I am disgusted." Reza hangs up on Mike, returns to asking Mirror, Mirror who is the finest gay Persian in all of L.A.
Reza later tells Adam that he's furious with Mike – how dare he be excluded from an event?!? But Reza had no issues cheering on his co-stars as they uninvited Mercedes "MJ" Javid and Golnesa "GG" Gharachedaghi from trips and parties last season. Reza tells Adam he needs time to decompress, which is code for, perfect a sob story that'll help justify his repugnant behavior.
Ugh… I need to lie down immediately after writing this. Seriously – I feel faint and I feel disrespectful even addressing this malarkey.
The first bit of news is not Kanye West's fault, save for the fact that it's totally believable given all the nonsense and highfalutin comparisons he's spouting. A self-described "Global Global Satirical Newspaper of Record" called The Daily Currant published a spam article claiming that Kanye referred to himself as the next Nelson Mandela.
The quote, falsely attributed to Kanye, read, “Mandela was working in South Africa, which has, like what, six people? I started my magic here in the USA and then I took my business global. I liberate minds with my music. That’s more important than liberating a few people from apartheid or whatever.”
The latest lady to be dealing with an incarceration is new star Alicia DiMichele Garofalo, whose husband Edward Garofalo, a Colombo member was just sentenced to 7 years in a federal prison for extortion.
Alicia arrived at the courthouse in her mafia wife best to support Edward with whom she has three children. “I’m here for my husband. I’m just trying to take care of my boys, that’s all," she told NY Post reporters.
Unfortunately Alicia may be doing her own time soon! The newly minted reality star was accused of colluding with her husband by working as his company book keeper and was caught on tape "gabbing about embezzling funds for their now-defunct trucking business."
Briana added, "We were all shocked but I'm glad I was given a chance to share my story and change others! That's all that matters. Time to move on from MTV and do bigger and better things, and no, I don't mean become a porn star."
No Princess Briana: Couch Bound Teen Mom to look forward to? Bummer.
Season four kicks off January 2 at 9/8c and will feature Jon Gosselin and Liz Janetta, Taylor Armstrong and John Bluher, Ghostface Killah and Kelsey Nykole, Whitney Mixter and Sada Bettencourt, and Farrah Abraham.
VH1 has released the first trailer, with special focus on Jon, Ghostface Killah, and Farrah. While I could do without Jon's whining, Farrah's eye roll at the 0:15 mark is not to be missed. Enjoy!