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Deep in the middle of Real Housewives of Orange County, it was a beautiful clear night overlooking the Pacific Ocean. It could have been the setting from a movie, but instead it was real-ish life. And from Heather Dubrow‘s palatial lawn stars dotted the sky of what should have been a perfect evening. Sadly, an evil eye had befallen the enchanted party and instead of an evening of friendship, love and celebration – it was one recriminations, accusations, and petty slights.

‘Perhaps the drinks flowed too abundantly?’ Heather thought to herself. ‘Perhaps I was too liberal with the invitations?’ she pondered. But then she remembered, she had sold her soul; let it all slip away and now Bravo owned her – they owned her home, her celebrations, and even her name. Well, at least for next couple years. Oh, well might as well make the best of it. Champs for all!

Last week there were issues over a bow. Some loose ends were left untied and Sarah Winterchester, the faux-heiress (who left her holler for the wilds of Orange County), was being shown the door at this exclusive party. Sarah began to realize the Xanax in her purse was a bad idea (OK, I made that part up). Also a bad idea – letting herself be talked into attending a party where she was out of her element, nervous as hell, and wearing the dress she bought at the adult superstore on Sunset. All in all, mistakes were made and she would suffer for them. One can escape the trailer park, but never really escape the trailer park. Just ask Tamra

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Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is shaping up to have some serious drama this season! Except the drama  basically seems like a reboot of last year’s nonsense with the same feuds, the same annoyances, and the same contrivances.

Since it is my duty to report the crazy, filming has started and with it silly petty feuds have continued. Wetpaint reveals that the ladies recently filmed in Vegas – where ex-Housewife Camille Grammer tagged along. Didn’t she get fired?

Brandi Glanville, new BFF Lisa Vanderpump, Lisa’s old BFF Kyle Richards and new girl on the block Yolanda Hadid spent two days luxuriating at the Four Seasons’ super exclusive penthouse.

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It seems like it’s finally happening for Kimmy Kakes.  She has arrived.  After months of trying, she is friends with Beyonce…or Bey as I’m sure Kimmie calls her.  Beyonce has broken down and now actually likes Kim.  I guess you could say she (metaphorically) put a ring on it.  She likes her.  She really, really likes her.

The duo was spotted this weekend watching their loves perform their Watch the Throne concert in Birmingham, England.  The girls even, according to an US Weeklysource, venturing into the mosh pit.  All this friendliness is new for the ladies.  While Kim’s boyfriend Kanye West and Beyonce’s husband Jay-Z are close friends, Kim has allegedly been getting the cold shoulder from Beyonce for a while.  An insider recently told The Sun, “The girls have never really seen eye-to-eye. It’s a shame because Jay-Z and Kanye are so close. Beyonce has always viewed Kim as a reality TV star who’s not earned her fortune with a specific talent.”

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Last week on MTV‘s Teen Mom, we saw Catelynn Lowell and Tyler Baltierra graduate, Maci Bookout invite herself on the Edward’s family vacation with Bentley, Farrah Abraham adopt a puppy, and Amber Portwood and Gary Shirley contemplate the future of their relationship.

It was mind numbing – at best.

This week must be the Teen Mom beach special.  With the exception of Catelynn and Tyler, who are busy caring for their new bundle of joy, all of the crazy kids, plus adult Farrah, are at the beach.

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She’s ba-ack!  Perhaps Paris Hilton was getting hives seeing how much and how often her former friend who loves marriages and sex tapes, who used to be much less famous, is in the headlines every nanosecond.  Paris is now branching out…the heiress, reality star, designer, and party shower-upper can now add deejay to her impressive resume.  Yes, in the past she has regaled us with some forgettable dance tunes, but Paris is determined to get back in the limelight.

Starcasm.com is reporting about her foray into the turn-tables, which took place at the Pop Music Festival in San Paulo, Brazil.  Paris was in good company, with acts like Kelly Clarkson, J Lo, and Cobra Starship.  The celebutante also spun her new single “Last Night” with rumored boyfriend Afrojack.  Check out video below!

Last night’s Dance Moms saw another Payton/Leslie invasion, the moms standing up for one another and Abby sneaking Maddie into a second competition without telling the troupe. Geez!

Abby gets on the troupe for getting second place overall.  While any other dance teacher would be thrilled, Abby reminds her girls that she is not any other dance teacher.  Paige is on the bottom of the pyramid along with Brooke, who is still on probation.  She blames the girls for not coming to them on their own to beg for their solos after mom Kelly pulled them from the competition.  Is she serious?  Nia is also on the bottom, although I’m not sure why.  Chloe and Maddie are in the middle of the pyramid with MacKenzie taking the coveted top spot.  Melissa is super proud.  The competition this week will be held in Virginia, and it’s touted as the largest dance competition in the country.

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Tonight is part two of the Real Housewives of Orange County’s finale, and the battle is raging on between former besties Vicki Gunvalson and Tamra Barney over Vicki’s affirmation-lovin’, creole cookin’, child support payin’ (oh wait…) beau Brooks Ayers.

In her Bravo blog, Vicki compares Tamra to Jeana Keough, writing, “I…believe Tamra should not have chosen Heather [Dubrow]‘s party to replay her drama with the wine episode with Jeana. Remember why Tamra was mad at Jeana last year? To refresh your memory, it was because Jeana was getting involved in Tamra and Simon’s marriage and “butting in.” Hmmm. . .isn’t that what she has been doing with Brooks and I?”

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