Reality Tea

 Bethenny Frankel & Heather Thomson 'Know It Alls'

The Real Housewives of New York star Bethenny Frankel would like it to be known that her co-stars of full of crap when it comes to F-Bombs and other matters of swearing.  She took to her blog to dish on swearing like sailors, Ramona Singer’s inability to close a deal, what a hot mess Dorinda Medley was, and so much more. 

She starts off confessing that she came across like a smarty pants.  “Although I stand by what I was saying at lunch, I am self-aware and did see that I was particularly aggressive and acting like a know-it-all. That doesn’t change that it was funny how lit up Heather got by it. We had just made up and were in a good place and she couldn’t help jumping on that.” 

Meghan Edmonds rejects Shannon's invite

Meghan Edmonds main storyline on this week’s Real Housewives of Orange County was mainly comprised of her angst about moving again with a man who can barely tolerate her, her inability to continue a lame argument with Shannon Beador (despite acting like a 13-year old on the phone) and standing around looking awkward while Vicki Gunvalson was reeling from the terrible news that her mother had suddenly passed away. In her blog, Meghan discusses deep thoughts, like how “Moving sucks!” and her new found appreciation for “old lady” games. 

Reflecting on her 65th or so house relocation with hubby Jim Edmonds, Meghan shares, “Moving sucks! And watching this episode made me want to throw one of my empty boxes (from yet another move) at the television for minimizing the stress and overall terrible feelings that come with a move.” But, alas! Apparently Jimmy has seen the light about how hard poor wife #3 has it, what with her directing the packing and unpacking of his their property. “I know you hear me say that Jimmy doesn’t do any of the actual moving and that’s why he thinks it’s easy, well he didn’t up until we moved out of our four month rental. That was the first time he unpacked more than one box. And guess what, now he hates moving! Finally! You see him rummaging through a drawer, he wasn’t packing.”

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cori-andi-liza-susan-party-secrets-and-wives-ep-007

Ok, people! I am watching Secrets and Wives so you don’t have to. You’re welcome! Juuuuust kidding. I know there are one or three of you out there still tuning in to Bravo’s latest “experiment,” so let’s get started on recapping the hot mess of last night’s episode! (I must confess I actually get a kick out of these ladies, God help me.) 

At Fire Island, Liza Sandler and bestie Andi Black are waking up in the same bed, per usual, to dogs and gay best friends pouncing on them. Cori Goldfarb and Susan Doneson are having coffee while reliving the night before, during which Susan took a lot of heat from the ladies about her trashy husband Jonathan’s behavior at Cori’s barbecue last week. All four of the ladies finally slap some orange makeup on and gather for breakfast. Not able to apply her own face shellac back in Long Island is Gail Greenberg, who’s left her 1993 light-up makeup mirror at their Fire Island house. How will she prepare for her Glamour Shots session in time!?!?

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Real Housewives of New York cast photo

Yesterday the Real Housewives Of New York taped their reunion. Amid a season of off-the-wall drama, serious friendships ups and downs, major cast changes, and the yet unseen “uncool” utterance, the reunion was sure to be epic. Especially with with 8 Housewives!

The reunion ran all day, beginning in the morning and didn’t wrap until after 9 PM. Andy Cohen had a WWHL taping with Jeff and Jenni scheduled, and raced from the RHONY reunion set, right into the WWHL studio. Talk about pressed for time. 

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Katie Maloney & Tom Schwartz Engaged

Well, well –  look who finally put his big boy underoos on and popped the question! Tom Schwartz has finally caved to Katie Maloney‘s demands and proposed to his girlfriend of a zillion years. And no, there were no rings on strings involved, just rings that came with strings called long-term commitment. 

Y’all know what this means: Another Vanderpump Rules wedding! Katie announced the news on instagram with a photo of her wearing the engagement ring while Tom 2 nuzzled her neck (yay for finally making physical contact!). “So I said… YES!!!!” she gushed. 

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Kristen Taekman - The Voice Of Reason On RHONY

The ladies of Real Housewives Of New York are still in Turks and Caicos, but they’re starting to panic, one mosquito caught in a macrame dress after another. Of course Ramona Singer is annoying everyone, and if there were Ramona-Off, it would be in constant use.

Bethenny Frankel is making lunch, because I’m sure there’s some Skinnygirl salad from her book, or she was trying to pimp her new Skinnygirl salad dressing or salad tongs or salad croutons made of compressed air and over-active imagination of what carbs actually taste like. But drama with Ramona eclipsed her Skinnygirl Self-Promotion Brigade.

Ramona is demanding everyone eat lunch at a restaurant. Bethenny is pissed, because she’s been cooking and that’s hella rude on Ramona’s part! Bethenny chases Ramona around the beach house yelling that she’s manic. That, my friends, is the true definition of Irony By Bravo – Skinnygirl Margarita glass calling the Pinot Glass empty. 

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dance moms kendall

In case you were wondering, last night’s Dance Moms was supposed to be all about Kendall, at least that was Jill’s hope. Alas, it was not the case, but I was quite happy about Abby Lee Miller’s absence for the entire hour. I needed the break…desperately. The episode begins with the girls wondering the fate of their friend Kalani and the mothers rehashing Abby’s epic tantrum with Kira. Not surprisingly, Abby is missing in action, and Gianna pretends to now know where their fearless leader is. Gianna grants each dancer a solo in light of Nationals being five weeks away. Wait, what? Does that mean this season is going to be even longer than normal? Geez. JoJo announces that she won’t be competing this week because she’s opening for Kids Bop at Disneyland. I have no clue what that means, but way to go?!?

As Kendall works on her routine, Gianna goads her about losing to Nia the previous week, and Holly questions how Kendall’s single is doing. Jill beams that the song, which dropped this week, is number one in Ireland, and Holly gushes about how exciting that is. However, it’s pretty obvious she only asked to segue into what’s going on with Nia’s budding pop career. I expected more from you, Holly! Jessalyn wonders if Jill is upset that Abby isn’t around to show her support for Kendall’s single, and Jill admits neither she nor Kendall ever know where they stand with Abby. Well, duh…she’s unstable! Nia and Holly then meet with Nia’s manager/producer who wants her to try her hand at rapping. Holly can’t wait to gloat share this news with the other moms. 

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Angie Simpson on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills

Rumor has it that Angie Simpson is in talks to join the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. In case you’ve never heard of her, let me fill in the blank, Angie is the mother of pop star Cody Simpson. Need more help?? Cody dated Gigi Hadid and competed on Dancing with the Stars.

With Kim Richards out, Brandi Glanville out, and Yolanda Foster very sick, Real Housewives of Beverly Hills is down three full-time housewives. Despite never ending rumors to the contrary, neither Kathy Hilton nor Denise Richards is joining the cast (if their denials are to be believed). So is Angie the real deal? Or just another dead end casting rumor?

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