Oh Jimmy Kimmel, you just inched up a few slots on my cool people list.
Last night at the White House Correspondents’ Dinner, the comedian made Kim Kardashian the butt of several jokes. She and pimpmomager Kris Jenner saved face by laughing when the cameras panned their way, but I’m sure they were genuinely delighted to be the center of attention.
Last night, Donald Trumptold the remaining six victims on Celebrity Apprenticethat they all looked sick and tired. And, he’s right. I’m sick and tired, too. The marathon pace of the show is starting to visibly take its toll on the contestants. Or maybe the editing monkeys exaggerated everyone’s behavior. Whatever it was, after tonight’s elimination, there will only be one way to go, and that’s for everyone to turn on each other.
The challenge this week was to create a jingle for Good Sam, an emergency roadside assistance firm with a retro-esque mascot. What a shame that both our musically inclined “celebrities” were project managers last week. This week, Aubrey O’Day and Clay Aiken really could have shone, but instead Dayana Mendoza decided to PM, with Arsenio Hall managing Unanimous. Or, the reality, Aubrey took over the creative direction of the team while Arsenio’s true project management task was managing Aubrey.
Everything seems to be coming up roses in Kim Zolciak‘s world. She’s married, she’s having a baby, and Don’t Be Tardy For The Wedding wasn’t a complete flop – even if people only watched out of morbid curiosity.
According to The Hollywood Reporter, Kim’s new spin-off premiered to some pretty solid ratings. The two half-hour long series openers garnered about 1.55 million viewers! Not bad for a new show!
And since everything else is perfect in Kimlandia, it’s time to fix her fallen friendship with NeNe Leakes – which seems to be fragmented beyond repair. Much to my and Andy Cohen‘s chagrin.
Kim recently appeared on The Wendy Williams Show where she confirmed – Real Housewives of Atlanta or no – she is not interested in rekindling things with The Neen. “She’s really changed, and she’s not funny to me anywhere,” Kim shared. “She used to be really funny.” Funnier when she was a moose or when she had a penis? Wendy agreed, saying NeNe has become “mean-spirited.”
On last night’s episode of Real Housewives of New Jersey, the ladies of Jersey continued to fragment – but surprisingly so did the men! There was drunken debauchery, poison expulsion, and a fight! Oh, Joe G-to-the-iudice, why you such a mess?
Things begin with Jacqueline Laurita throwing the wayward Hatley Holmes out of the house. Except, Ashlee’s hatless now – she’s Lohan-esque instead (I would call her Injectibles Holmes, but people might think I’m talking about Jacqueline). Anyway, Jacs didn’t seem at all sad to see her go. And poor, once-promising Albie Manzo was sentenced to drive Ashlee to the airport. In the car she whines and fussed about flying and begs the aeronautics gods to make her 21 so she can get wasted before her flight. Then she brags about the time she drank a bottle of cough syrup through a straw to ease her fear of flying. That’s not completely cracktastic or anything! #rehab.
Albie compares Ashlee to Ke$ha but I think that’s too generous because at least Ke$ha has some semblance of talent (maybe?) and a career of some undeserved recognition.
Melissa Gorga pays a visit to Non-Juicy Joe where he is hard at work overseeing the development of buildings. She’s wearing some sort of tight, mini dress and Joe gooses her as they tour the facilities. Joe owns three buildings on the same street – one for each of their children. Melissa doesn’t get a building – she gets Joe and his poison instead. #luckygirl #sarcasm. They reminisce about a time when they had no money to buy diapers and were poor, poor while Joe was developing his buildings.
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On last night’s Mob WivesKaren found yet another endeavor, and Drita impressed us with her ability to throw down a rhyme. Also impressive? That Renee has kept it together for yet another episode!
Renee Graziano exits her father’s status hearing. She calls Big Ang to reveal how hard it was as her family members and friends ignored her. Her father was in poor health, but he was happy to see Renee there to support him, which made her feel better about such an icky situation. I must say I am impressed to see how well Renee is keeping it together.
Big Ang and her sister Janine head to get some Botox. While she is no stranger to plastic surgery (duh) and injections, it’s her first foray into Botox. It is much more painful than she could have imagined, but she is beyond pleased with the results. Her doctor tries to discourage her from getting extra injections, but Big Ang is addicted. She lurves it.
Remember when Amber Portwood was evicted while in jail for allegedly lying about her income to qualify for low-income state subsidized housing? Well, the government of Indiana is reportedly furious that the Teen Momtrainwreck star conned them and they want their money back! Amber was renting a home subsidized by the state’s Rental Housing Tax Credit Program. A program that provides lower-income housing for those in need.
Amber under-estimated her income by about $270,000 to qualify for the program, claiming she made only $10k last year. Unfortunately, Amber earned a whopping $280,000. Sadly, I imagine most of it was spent on legal fees! Upon learning of her income discrepancy scam, the company she was renting from promptly evicted Amber.
And took the matter to court! Predictably Amber never even bothered to reply to the company’s lawsuit, which accused her of lying about her income. In response an Indian judge ruled in the company’s favor and according to TMZ, ordered Amber pay the company $673 within 30 days or face further legal action. Oh, Amber…