I knew it would happen, y'all. It was just a matter of time before Real Housewives of Orange County newbie started to get on my last nerve. On Monday's episode, Shannon Beador and husband David traveled to Mexico with Vicki Gunvalson and that guy, and it just seems that nothing is ever as Shannon hopes it will be. The room is too small. Her husband has too much tequila, the ladies are judging her relationship by using the stories she's woefully told them when things were bad. She's under a microscope. Nope, Shannon. You just chose to live your life on reality television.
Of Monday's show, she begins, "It's especially difficult to watch these episodes that are about my marriage. It was hard enough to go through as we were filming, but as I watch again, I am basically reliving it. While some of it is positive, some of it is not. I am glad that you get to see David and I packing for Mexico. There is a sweet moment in my dressing room where I giggle when David hugs me. When David and I are connected, sometimes I act like a little kid and get giddy around him because I am still so in love with him. I am really looking forward to going on the trip and starting to initiate different approaches to my relationship because the ones I have been using have been failing miserably."
Say whatever you want about pimpmomager Kris Jenner, but the lady knows how to make that money! Case in point – her daughter KimKardashian reportedly earned $28 million dollars in 2013!
With ratings for her reality show Keeping Up With The Kardashians sinking, her fashions universally mocked, and her relationship (and marriage) to Kanye West constantly reviled, it's impossible to imagine how Kim earned that chunk of change! Are sex tape royalties that good?! Apparently not, but showing up places sure is.
The bulk of Kim's earnings come, not from endorsements or TV appearances, but sadly from appearances – that is showing up at a club, a store or restaurant opening, parties, or events.
After being missing from several intros earlier in the season, Aviva was back (and with her revolting father). Rumor was Aviva was temporarily fired for being a complete diva and refusing to attend mandatory cast functions.
The entire time the cast has been filming in Montana (yes – they're STILL there! #MostBoringHWTripEver!), Aviva has not made an appearance or been featured in the intro. Aviva claimed she could not attend the trip due to extreme asthma – asthma no one had ever heard of before.
Andy Cohen explains why Aviva's appearance have been so scattered and the truth behind her Scooby Doo style intro! "She's not in about five or six of the episodes this season," Andy reminds us.
And then Apollo Nida got indicted for fraud and Phaedra refused to comply with her deposition in Angela's lawsuit case. Angela's attorney has issued a court order demanding that Phaedra sit for her deposition within 45-days says a judge.
As with everything involving The Real Housewives of New Jersey, things are not ever as they seem. And in the case of Melissa Gorga's $3.8 million Montville mansion, the cracks are showing – literally! Kai Patterson's spokesperson reached out to shoot down the claims made in the press yesterday byJoe and Melissa regarding the sale of their home and their attempt to evict him from the mansion for non-payment. It would appear there's another side to the story (shocker!) and it's a doozy!
Mr. Patterson's rep shared an extensive response which includes a laundry list of repairs not completed on the home – with photo evidence and more. Get your popcorn and Pinot. There are BEAVERS running amok in the Gorga mansion, y'all!
"In response to your article related to the Gorga's home, Mr. Patterson's rental agreement was modified on November 21, 2013, which changed the price of the rent to $10,000 per month (See Attachment: Modification of Lease and Purchase Terms Executed by All Parties on 11-21-2014.pdf – Paragraph 3b). A subsequent agreement changed the start date of the agreement executed on November 21, 2013 to February 26, 2014 and possession was taken the property on February 28, 2014. The February 26, 2014 agreement pushed back the increase in rent until after October 2014, which the Gorgas failed to provide to the Court (See Attachment: Paragraph 1 of Modified Rider as of 02-26-2014). In addition to paying $10,000 rent, an additional $10,000 per month was to be paid towards the purchase of the property, and those payments were to be used make several needed repairs before and after taking possession of the property. Although the Gorgas were initially paid $10,000 rent, and a deposit of $25,000, which was to be applied to the purchase price of the home and used to make the repairs, none of the repairs were made on the list of repairs provided below (See: Needed Repairs List and Pictures Below)."
Well, what a coinky-dink..or as Lil' Scrappy would say a "coince-nigh-ee!"! VH1 show-hopper Bambi Johnson is claiming that she didn't order a hit (is this a Mob Wives crossover?) on her Love & Hip Hop: Atlanta nemesis Erica Pinkett. It just so happens that Bambi's sister and Erica got into a brawl at an Atlanta bar with no connection whatsoever to Bambi or her beef with Erica over Scrappy.
As you recall, Erica was attacked in the restroom of an Atlanta nightclub, and police arrested a woman named Stephanie Nicole Harp who initially fled the scene. Stephanie was charged with aggravated assault and use of a deadly weapon since she reportedly came at Erica with a razor blade. Erica told police that she believed Bambi was the mastermind behind the confrontation.
Oh Vicki Gunvalson – after eight or so seasons of Vicki annoying the piss out of us (see what I did there – cause Vicki peed her pants), she's getting counseling and emerged a wiser, more self-confident, and self-aware woman. And she's spreading her messages to the masses.
On last night's episode of Real Housewives of Orange County we entered an alternate universe of housewifery where Vicki was preaching about learning from mistakes, taking ownership, and in general being a happier person less concerned with what others think. Either Brooks' falsie-affirmations are working (the power of believing, yo!) or counseling is, but whatever – we'll take it. And I'll also take a Vicki G spinoff called The Love Tank Whisperer.
Vicki took her love tank restructuring seminar to Puerto Vallarta and invited Shannon Beador and her imploding marriage along. It takes a brave woman to take a disaster on vacation and still focus on the fun! Shannon and David are in a tailspin of dysfunction with Shannon digging in and clinging tightly to an evaporating David who is floating farther and farther out in the metaphorical sea.