I finally figured what Sonja Morgan and Aviva Drescher like about each other – they’re both totally and utterly delusional! And they reinforce each other’s delusions. Seriously – was there a psychiatrist waiting in the wings of the Real Housewives of New York reunion?
Kristen Taekman got new boobs. As an anniversary present. Is this like a thing now – getting new boobs for the reunion? Ladies – the suddenly ballooning mummeries does not distract us from the drama.
Of course, almost immediately Kristen and Aviva are at each other’s throats over all of their arguments this season; specifically the time Aviva told Kristen to “Shut the f–k up” in front of their kids. Aviva does not apologize. At all. In fact she denounces Kristen as a “rookie” (I see someone has been rehearsing their insults in the mirror again!) and dismisses the whole things perfectly fine and normal. I mean kids hear the f-word. No biggie. I mean it’s just a word.
Can it get any worse? Last night’s episode of Dance Moms certainly proved that it could. Abby Lee Miller was quite the whirlwind of negativity with her new competition team while the original moms–and dancers–dealt with the consequences. Not surprisingly, Christi has nicknames for the new mothers, including Christ-y (for the Jesus loving mom with a penchant for pot stirring and physical violence), Purple Haired Dud and Count Stalkula. I won’t remember those, but kudos to crazy Christi for her creativity. Abby opens with the pyramid (glad that some things never change), as Abby touts Maddie for leading the newbies to victory. Sadly for Abby, she hates the new moms as much as she can’t stand the veterans.
Christ-y, I mean Christy, isn’t happy to be one of Abby’s customers because Abby hasn’t yet heard the saying that the customer is always right. Abby needs the new team to serve as replacements for when her original stars have auditions in Los Angeles and New Work and Farmville. Maddie admits that she likes the new team, but she’d rather be with her friends. Before revealing the pyramid, Abby bad mouths Kira for pulling Kalani from the team so she could go be with her boyfriend. I guess that’s Lifetime speak for she’s no longer needed for a story line.
While Sonja Morgan thinks her “Caburlesque” is gonna become a thing (like “Fetch” is), LuAnn de Lesseps is actually working hard and earning money. Apparently being a former countess agrees with her!
At a housewarming shindig for her new house in Sag Harbor this weekend, LuAnn was all saucy jokes and quick wit – including revealing how she met her ex-husband and has quite the storied past! LuAnn apparently keeps a journal of all the good jokes she hears and “writes down” the punchlines so she can remember them.
After looking like a s#*!-stirring suck-up on this week’s episode, with her husband saying he’s not allowed to hang out with the Juicys because of their legal issues, Amber is trying to set the story straight.
“Neither Jim nor I have ever been judgmental of Joe and Teresa [Giudice]. At this point, we hadn’t even met Joe Giudice, and had only met Teresa once at our party. We knew of their situation, but still opened the invitation to them without regret,” Amber begins.
As you know, several Bravo stars turned up in Las Vegas two weekends ago. Jill popped up, of course, though she did not appear to be directly involved with the events. Gotta love her! This past weekend, Jill, Ramona Singer, and Betsey Johnson posed for photos at the Samuel Waxman Cancer Research Foundation fundraiser A Hamptons Happening. Check out pictures from Vegas and A Hamptons Happening below. It’s like a fun game of Where in the world is Carmen Sandiego Jill Zarin?!
In last night’s Game of Crowns, the ladies compete in the Ms. New England States pageant. Lynne Diamante plans her fifteenth wedding. Susanna Paliotta’s jumpsuit stylist gets caught in a hornets’ nest. And Vanassa Sebastian, like the mighty eye of Sauron, gathers her army of orcs and seeks one crown to rule them all! Bwahahahaha.
We begin 5 days before the Ms. New England States pageant, a charity event in which Lori-Ann Marchese, Leha Guilmette, Lynne, and Susanna will all compete. Susanna shops for a new gown in one of the tackiest shops I’ve ever seen. Her stylist Anthony helps her choose a dress that will “speak for her.” Susanna’s eldest daughter Victoria meets her at the shop and we learn that she survived a facial injury her senior year that resulted from a teen bullying incident. Victoria entered pageants after reconstructive surgery to rebuild her confidence. Good for her. Hope she stops competing before the world of Mrs. Pageants transform her into a steaming pile of poo like her mom and company.
Things begin with Tamra Barney telling Vicki Gunvalson about Ryan’s surprise engagement. Vicki understands given that Briana surprised eloped last season. If your children are always hiding something from you that’s probably a sign that they think you’re crazy.
However, quickly talk turns to TheShannon BeadorDilemna. Vicki is straight to the point with Tamra that she started causing all this drama and now is stepping back like ‘Don’t look at me! I didn’t do it!’ – and that Heather Dubrow is also being an instigator. Vicki thinks Heather needs to be knocked down a a notch or two to understand empathy. I am loving this equanimous Vicki. More of this please! Less of that rat’s nest on her head that she calls hair, however!