Bethenny Frankel doesn’t want us to get it twisted. She never called Kristen Taekman “dumb,” and she doesn’t have a running feud with Heather Thomson. So, then, why were those two themes a central focus in last night’s episode of the Real Housewives of New York? Bethenny shares in her Bravo blog that she “just wanted to end the dynamic with Heather.” She goes on to explain her wall/no wall (oxy)moronic way of living: “Although I am a reality star, I don’t always want the spotlight on me. I love doing reality TV, because I love the connection with the audience, the running commentary, the interaction with the women, and ultimately, the humor of it all. This doesn’t mean that when I’m going through some personal sh– that I want people up in my grill. It takes me a minute to get warm,” Bethenny explains.
Bethenny argues that making up with Heather, whether real or fake, was simply because she “just wanted to hug and make up and keep it moving.” She adds, “Aside from trying to give Sonja [Morgan] some guidance in the past, I am not on top of anyone trying to do anything. I just want to ease in and keep it easy breezy light and bright. Heather and I have different approaches.” Hitting the point home with the force of a blunt hammer, Bethenny continues, “I approached Heather, because I really didn’t want this to become some insane Housewife rivalry that it isn’t. She came on strong. I backed up. That is it. Different strokes for different folks. She is not my frenemy. Life is too short.”
About her first reunion, Asifa said, “I was feeling very anxious and a little jittery. So much happened all season long and there was a tremendous amount of pent up anger on so many different ends. It was like a volcano waiting to erupt. I can confidently say it was an intense feeling for all, kind of like being on the Titanic right after hitting the iceberg. Who would feel comfortable walking onto a sinking boat?” Eh, I’d feel comfortable as long as MJ‘s boobs were on board.
I still don’t know what the hell happened on Real Housewives Of New York! One minute Bethenny Frankel was crying, the next she was hugging, the next she was building flimsy walls, the next she was eviscerating, the next she was arguing, the next she was conducting a high-powered business summit, the next she was running away, then she was apologizing. Dare I say – with all her emotional turmoil – she was acting like Kelly from Scary Island. I feel like everyone needs an instruction manual for how to operate Bethenny.
Back in the Berkshires at Dorinda Medley‘s birthday dinner, Bethenny is having a sobbing meltdown because Heather Thomson tried to smother her with a meatball like some sort of depraved Upper East Side momogul version of Aqua-Teen Hunger Force. Get the memo, Heather: Bethenny doesn’t eat! Bethenny is allergic to fish – and, also Xanax!
Then Bethenny is running around to Heather’s side of the table, eyes shining with tears (or maybe it was Skinnygirl Sparklers; who knows) hugging Heather and apologizing for the walls she’s has because everyone is trying to put her in a Skinnygirl box. “I’m over myself!” Bethenny snaps. “I just don’t want attention!” Except for the times I’ve talked to the media and put myself on reality shows!
So, it’s the second installment of Bravo’s experiment with the “real” Long Island friends ofSecrets and Wives, and this time we’re going to be able to tell these dern ladies apart if it kills us! (Or maybe just me.) We start at Liza Sandler’s house where she is waking up in bed with bestie Andi Black, both of whom are in full drag queen makeup. Speaking of queens, Liza’s mother enters the room to compare hair heights with her daughter before Liza and Andi start chatting about Susan Doneson’s sideways remarks about Liza at her party the previous night. Susan basically thinks Liza is a whiner for complaining about moving out of her North Shore palace, as she doesn’t have a job, but does have a hefty divorce settlement coming her way. Liza is not happy with the smack talking, that happened at HER party, in HER yard, at her soon-to-be-surrendered McMansion!
Meanwhile Susan, the only career woman in this circle, is heading to the gym with Amy Miller for a Soul Cycle spin class. They run into Cori Goldfarb at her spa before entering the gym. The concept of “Truth + Beauty,” Cori and husband Sandy’s business, is a “one stop shop” for all your health and beauty needs. It looks like a spa with a poor-man’s gym and Chico’s costume jewelry, but what do I know? Andi joins the ladies at spin class and gets an earful from Amy about her upcoming trip to the Bahamas with her much-derided boyfriend, Arthur. Back at the front desk, Cori is needling Sandy about his “involvement” in the business, which she doesn’t really want much of. After he pretends to know what’s going on for a while, Cori shuts him down with an “I am going to stab you” threat. In the gym, Gail Greenberg shows up in dueling rat-tails and Andi immediately asks her if they can all go for a ladies’ weekend to Gail’s Hamptons home. Gail evades, then sort of nods yes while Susan interviews that Gail goes nowhere without her plastic surgeon husband, Dr. G, who Gail carries around “like one of her Birkin Hermes handbags.” Susan complains that Gail looks down on her. Why? “Because I’m a working girl?” asks Susan, with no irony.
Meghan begins by explaining away “Jimmy’s” gruff treatment of her during their premiere scenes together. “It’s easy to see that Jimmy doesn’t share my happy demeanor, he is stressed about this move because it means that our deal fell through (our buyer couldn’t get a loan for the house while we were in escrow, we lost a lot of money on this failed deal),” Meghan explains. She goes on to list a litany of excuses for his dismissive behavior: “He’s also stressed because he knows that he will be the one flying back and forth between St. Louis and Orange County and his family is once again split up. But he does need to sit back and smell the roses! A little traffic never hurt anyone! And especially on PCH, traffic is practically a prerequisite! As for the wedding ring, he was missing that dang thing for weeks. He finally found it after we moved into our rental house about a month after that dinner with Hayley, it was floating around a rogue suitcase. I think St. Anthony might have had something to do with that discovery!”
Kim Kardashian rented out the Staples Center, the home of the Los Angeles Lakers, for Kanye West‘s 38th birthday. The surprise cost her $110,000.
An insider told E! News, “Kim rented out the Staples Center so Kanye and his boys could play an NBA-style game with real refs and Laker girls. John Sally is the announcer. Houston Rockets player James Harden and rapper 2 Chainz are the coaches. John Legend sang the national anthem.” And the cherry on top of the star-studded sundae, Kim invited Justin Bieber, too. #NowItsAParty