I would like to personally thank whoever at TLC had the briliant idea to put June Shannon, Sugar Bear, and family into Pilgrim garb for the opening sequence of their Here Comes Honey Boo Boo Thanksgiving special. It was amazing.
We begin the special in the hospital, where Mama June and Sugar Bear are talking to a groggy Pumpkin. Unfortunately, the key catching incident from Halloween was worse than they originally thought, and Pumpkin had to have emergency surgery for a detached retina. Poor girl! Sugar Bear plays the doting father figure (seriously, how sweet a guy is he?), while June plays with her daughter's belly fat. A drugged up Pumpkin just slurs her disdain. Back at home, Pumpkin is on strict bed rest, so June gives her a metal bowl and spoon to bang if she needs assistance. They are like a family of fat McGyvers!
TRAIN! Alana is working on a project for school about the first Thanksgiving. She knows there were turkeys and that the Indians Native Americans ended up getting screwed over with a crappy meal and some casinos. She also knows that the Pilgrims came over on the Mayship the Flowership the Mayflower. According to Chubbs, this happened in 1942 (near the time of Pearl Harbor) when Christopher Columbus discovered the new world. Close, Chubbs. Very close. The first Thanksgiving meal was held at the Piedmont. Wait, no. Kribbet's Rot. Make that Plymouth Rock. I'm getting much dumber by watching these two minutes of television, but it is totally worth it. And TRAIN…twice!
We here at Reality Tea found that announcement surprising, not because Melissa doesn't look hot, but because sister-in-law Teresa Giudice has been mentioning she is planning to release her own fitness DVD to coincide with her healthy eating cookbook empire.
Well, our source shared with us that Melissa's true intention behind announcing a workout DVD was purely to enrage Teresa and try to continue their never-ending competition.
"This fitness video nonsense is unreal. Monkey See Monkey Do…A.K.A Melissa jumped right on the workout bandwagon. She knew Teresa was working on a fitness DVD so she just threw it out there on Twitter that she was making one," our source dishes.
Last night's episode ofReal Housewives of Atlanta was brought to you by the Bravo Home Shopping Network. We also learned a very good lesson about donkeys – they are stubborn. Very stubborn. And the more expensive the shoe, the more said donkey digs her heels in!
Things begin in normal land, or should I say New Normal land with NeNe Leakes and the family relocating to LA and their temporary home in the Hollywood Hills. Luckily Kenya Moore was on hand to loan NeNe some peeing cupid statues and other hideous faux Versailles pieces. What nothing reminiscent of Gone With The Wind? No massive draperies in velvet? No partially burned in the Civil War looking shabby chic dining room sets? No Rhett Butler portraits? #amateur.
So yeah, NeNe has arrived and she is ready to thrive!
Moving back to the land of ATL, Kandi Burruss is celebrating Todd's birthday by baking him a cake from scratch with her daughter Riley. Kandi was using cooking tools and clearly had a grasp of how they worked. I have to admit I swooned a little at the down-to-earth moment. Riley is talking about how she wants to move into the guest house when she gets older.
"You can't fake emotions," Kenya maintains. "If he was playing games, I wasn't playing games." Uh huh – I think actresses can and do fake emotions all the time, and doesn't Kenya fancy herself an actress?
And after she did that talking bit that we all don't care about, Kenya did the for real important thing and that was to perform LIVE! Yes, LIVE! her new song "Gone With The Wind Fabulous." Is anyone else failing to see what exactly is so fabulous about GWTW? Has Kenya seen the movie? Read the book?
NeNe Leakes cleans up nice! The Real Housewives of Atlanta star hit up the NBC Universal Golden Globes After Party last night lookin' classy as ever in Carolina Herrera. We think she knocked it out of the park with this look!
Nene was Tweeting her nervousness over the situation. Yes, our NeNe had a major case of the nerves! "Catch me on the red carpet tomorrow @ The Golden Globes! Imma little nervous abt all the judging." She was in awe of the whole situation, which was really sweet! "My eyes were watering on the red carpet wit excitement & forgot I had on fake eye lashes! Oh Lawd".
We began last night's episode as Karen and Ramona head to Renee's, and Karen has some major extensions. It's the afternoon of that dreaded brunch, and Renee is filling in the ladies on Carla's behavior. There is a lot of bleeping. Renee thinks that Carla is addicted to sleeping with married men. Renee reveals that neither Drita nor Big Ang came to her defense, and at one point, Carla threatened her life with a butter knife. Ramona is curious as to whether Carla planned to Grey Poupon Renee to death. The girl has jokes! It's jokeable…if that's a word. Karen shares that back in the day, they would have thrown Carla in the trunk of a car and threatened her family's life just to scare her a bit. Glad to see they've grown and matured.
Carla and her kids are playing in their pool, and she is getting the skinny on Joe's new house from the twins. She is shocked to learn that her husband and his girlfriend love to cook for the kids. Her children love the new lady Raquel as she takes them to Coney Island and does nice stuff for them. Carla is confused as to why a nice, young girl would want to get involved with an older, not yet divorced guy with kids who just got out of the slammer. Her kids are adorable.
Well, well… didn't I predict this would be the next big Housewives product on the horizon. Not five minutes after Phaedra Parks and Apollo Nida came out with Phine Body the first copycats are arriving!
Melissa Gorga announced on twitter that she and Poison Gorga are producing their own workout DVD. Cause e'rybody wants to look like they work at Lookers. I predict they'll call it Poisonous Body By MeGo and JoGo. Oh dear… Jersified workout gear coming soon!