Last night’s Teen Mom wasn’t quite as depressing as I thought it would be, so that’s a plus right? There were other pluses too…a dog got painted, Maci finally realized Bentley needed to socialize with kids his own age, Amber decided to stick it out in rehab, and Butch reveals that he isn’t a big drinker. Just wait.
Farrah’s sister Ashley is visiting her in Florida. Her mom will be arriving in the next few days for a visit. Farrah reveals that she and Sophia have a more better place to live in Florida than she ever had at her mom’s house. Yes, yes, Farrah. It’s way more better. How’s school?
So what I’ve learned is that just because you rap it, it doesn’t make it real. It seems we all could learn a lot from the illustrious Kanye West.
In Kanye’s song Cold he raps, “Lucky I ain’t had Jay drop him from the team.” Of course, he is referring to his best buddy Jay-Z having girlfriend Kim Kardashian’s ex-husband kicked off the New Jersey Brooklyn Nets.
Today, after scoring a $24 million contract with the team, Kris Humphriestweeted, I’m up at Brooklyn! @ S_C_ ‘lucky I didn’t have Jay drop me from the team’ lol!” TMZ reports that it is a two year contract with a pretty significant raise, given that his prior contract was for a year at $8 million. Maybe Beyonce is in her team-owner hubby’s ear a little more than his rapping partner in crime…
It was the birthday party from H-E-double hockey sticks on last night’s Dance Moms. Abby Lee Miller doesn’t only have some of her dancers in tears, but some of the moms as well!
The bottom of the pyramid is Paige because of Kelly changing her choreography. While Abby is proud that she beat her Candy Apple counterpart, perhaps she would have beaten her even better with Abby’s moves. MacKenzie joins Paige on the bottom, followed by Brooke who is finally off of probation. The middle rung Nia and Maddie. Chloe takes the spot for landing her solo in the top ten and winning the overall best costume award.
As a writer you are challenged to encapsulate events and people in an exciting or innovative way. As a recapper you are challenged to reiterate exciting and crazy things that have already happened in a funny and innovative way. It’s a tough job.
Last night on Real Housewives of New York there were royal wars and pinot races. And nobody won at the end of an evening serenaded by the worst music I’ve ever heard on Housewives of anywhere – and that is really saying something. So Mazel, Cara Quici.
Things begin innocently enough with a bidet, some croquet, and champagne. Sonja Morgan, washing off the sins of her hangover, sticks her face in a bidet filled with ice. She does know what part of the anatomy a bidet is really for, correct?
Sometimes you see things on TV that are straight up embarrassing. Case in point: The ladies of Real Housewives of Orange County on last night’s reunion. I may just go ahead on record and call this the most vitriolic reunion ever. Am I crazy?
Some things should be kept private – or at least off camera – but never underestimate the power of a desperate and delusional blonde!
Tmara Barney and Gretchen Rossi continued their reign as the over-the-hill trainwreck Barbies – and both their weaves had to come from the Barbie Comes To Life Wig Collection, sold exclusively in the Sunday morning coupon section of your local newspaper.
I assumed Heather Dubrow was brought on to inject a dose of class into this mess? Mission failed.
The Men Tell All, The Parade of Tools, The Reincarnation of the 3 Stooges… however you label it, it’s still the Bachelorette starring Emily Maynard<yawn> Two hours of video recaps and retells taped in front of one very reactive audience <SCREAMS!> makes me wish I drank wine.
Chris Harrison welcomes us by asking, “Who here would finally like to see Emily find the love of her life?” Raising my hand! If it means she’ll go away, then, by all means, let’s get this woman hitched. Jef Holm and Arie Luyendyk, Jr. are not there, but the men who escaped a lifetime of love few short months of happiness with Emily are. Yippee.
Sean is there! <SCREAMS!> Kalon is there! <BOO!> Seriously, the audience is so over the top.
In what may just be the least shocking news ever, it seems that there are still fans of Jon & Kate Plus 8 who walk among us. Well fan. Singular. And it’s Kate Gosselin herself. Color me surprised!
The former reality mom turned fifteen minutes of fame diva recently tweeted, “Wow. We all agreed: we miss our show&the adventures and huge opportunities to help and entertain :)others! Why am I watching and crying??!:)” My guess is she’s crying because she’s no longer on television, but I could be totally wrong about that!