I'm not going to lie, I've been looking forward to Juan-uary for a long time, but I have a confession to make. I've yet to watch it (it's patiently waiting on my DVR) because of Sunday'sSister Wives. Plus, I got hooked on a little web series on Hulu Plus that is the most hilarious Bachelorparody called Burning Love (and don't even get me started on the amazing guest stars!).
However, while I pine for this season's Juan PabloGalavis, one of the ladies who got kicked off in the first round is already trying to extend her fifteen minutes. Is it just me, or does one episode of the dating show not warrant a full fifteen? Not only that, but one reputable media outlet is touting hot father Juan as a (gasp!) deadbeat dad! What??
Let's get reaaadddy to ruuuummmmbbble!! It's Round (who can keep count?) of Jon and Kate. In this corner, weighing in with a job as a waiter and the recent cover of In Touch, we have Jon Gosselin…and in this corner, former chicken hair heavy weight champion and gracing People magazine, it's Kate Gosselin!
Who will win this latest bout of what's best for the former couple's eight kids? Both appeared onJon & Kate Plus 8, but now Jon is worried about what being thrust into the limelight has done to their kids. Kate, on the other hand, would love to get her brood back on your small screen. So, who's side are you on? Let's start with Jon, shall we?
This week's Shahs of Sunset was insane. Bravo gets the ick – MJ's sex tapes – out of the way first thing. We pay for this later.Mercedes "MJ" Javid seeks professional help to recover the missing files from her computer. She worries the young, hot computer guy will copy her sex tapes. He finds the files – not a cold chance in hell he enjoys it, let alone copies them.
Next,Mike Shouhed meets with old Vegas friends, Big Baller #1 and Big Baller #2. Their office building is nice and shiny but rather empty inside – much like their secretaries. The Ballers, who finance real estate deals, offer Mike a job as their broker. He promises to think about it, adding, "I want to show everybody a big middle finger, to the entire world and say, 'HAHAHA, I'm the richest.'"
Asa Soltan Rahmati meets with a party planner friend to go over details for the Diamond Water launch party. Not much to see here. She complains about the lack of gaudy gold accessories – yet the whiners on House Hunters never stop complaining about gold this, gold that – and requests a Diamond Water bottle ice sculpture. Asa also reveals she's planning a family reunion in Turkey.
Now, Jase'swife Missy is stepping into the limelight. She's just announced that she's partnering with Stephanie Carter's Southern Fashion House (the creator of the fun Judith March line) to create a wardrobe that's both fun for women…and age appropriate. I know a few housewives who should take that hint!
Kandi called out Chuck's revisionist history (or straight up lies) and explains that being on Chuck's team, was um… no big thing.
First Kandiwrote on Facebook, "What’s so interesting to me is that…. speaking of last night's episode, is for Chuck to try to play me like we were never were in a relationship… and to know how close he and my mama was… Still for years after we broke-up, he was still calling my mama seeing what’s going on."
Aaaahhh… Brandi Glanville. I've almost run out of things to say about the mess that has become Brandi. It's sad at this point. She was always rough around the edges, but it's become abundantly clear that she's pretty much rough all over!
Brandi is still making excuses for her behavior this season of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I wonder if she can't keep her mouth shut because she needs to open it constantly to insert wine – or her feet. In her latest Bravo blog she continues to place blame and point fingers at Joyce Giraud. These two need to stop talking about each other already. Let's hear what she has to say!
First up Lisa Vanderpump is to blame. Even though Lisa is ruining her reputation trying to be a good friend to Brandi this season, that's still not enough apparently!
"Lisa having a dinner to bring Joyce and I together is ironic because the whole reason we don't get along is because of Lisa and the Hairgate situation." How is that Lisa's fault – JOYCE chose to confront Lisa after Brandi instigated… "Lisa asked me to act as if Joyce didn't exist and now she is throwing a dinner for us? It's all so perplexing."
After being mercilessly teased about her Carrot Top do, Katie Maloney has returned to her roots and gone brunette again.
I'm not sure what on earth made theVanderpump Rules star decide to orange it up, but it was sincerely one of the most unflattering and ridiculous dye jobs I've ever seen! Katie is a pretty girl and why she thought that was a good idea is beyond me. My theory she was trying to emulate BFF Stassi Schroeder or try to earn some distinction between herself and other totally insane brunette Kristen Doute!
Whatever the case, Katie shared photos of her new hair on instagram and she looks much better! In other news she is still together with Tom 2 after he tried to put her out like a fire. We need an intervention – for him.