Reality Tea

Elton John Academy Awards Viewing Party

Look I'm just gonna say it straight out: I don't believe this anymore than I believe Kim Kardashian's butt (or her relationship to Kanye West) is real! 

Last week Kim played the role of paid escort to billionaire Richard Lugner at the Vienna Opera Ball. After taking his money, she proceeded to complain about him all over the media. Now Kim is claiming her trip to Vienna was even worse than we imagined! 

“Some woman started screaming obscenities at me for being in a mixed-race relationship…and went on for about five hours,” the Keeping Up With The Kardashians star whined to Piers Morgan. “They called the police when we landed, and she was taken away. But it was so disgusting.”

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Marysol Patton seen wearing a see-through top with a mystery man in Miami Beach

When you hire Real Housewives of Miami star Marysol Patton to promote your product, she goes the extra mile! 

Marysol and a friend hit the beach this weekend to show off her bikini body and promote a little wine in a can (aka Friends Fun Wine – she's an ambassador for them).  Marysol lounged in a tight white top – braless (and sans bikini top) – and then jumped in the ocean for a little impromptu wet t-shirt contest.  She was the only entrant. 

It wouldn't have been so obvious that Marysol was working the product placement if she hadn't jumped in the ocean with an expensive watch still on – and brought her can along to chug in the water.  In any case, it worked because here we are posting about it!

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dancing-with-the-stars-season-18

Bring on the parade of former child stars (I'm not complaining–The Wonder Years is my Netflix go-to!) and a loud housewife as we prepare for an eighteenth season of Dancing with the Stars. While all of the original judges will be returning, host Brooke Burke has been replaced with sports commentator Erin Andrews. Also returning? Dance pro (and eye candy) Maksim Chmerkovskiy! He reveals that he was actually invited back in a different capacity.

Also, Lisa Vanderpump paved the way for Bravo housewives on the dance competition, and she has some sound advice for competitor NeNe Leakes of Real Housewives of Atlanta. She knows that it takes a lot of blood, sweat, and tears to make it on the show, but Lisa promises NeNe that it's worth every minute!

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rhoa-recap-kenya

I'm just not sure what to think of Kenya Moore.

By that I mean, is she an evil genius or straight-up crazy? Kenya has orchestrated shade so elaborate it's like a 7-layer taco dip with extra cheese. It's deep and flavorful and frankly scary in its articulate complexity (Kenya IS Top Chef!). And there is no nacho chip to be left unturned.

Kenya has so many targets it's difficult to know if there's a safe-zone, but good lord is it crafty and thrilling to watch. If she is working at this alone, then I bow down to her as the true maestro of all Housewives. And if she's just full-scale nutty then NeNe Leakes better contact the authorities! 

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Kate Gosselin on The Marilyn Denis Show

Season 7 of Celebrity Apprentice is a go – and the cast list is slowly being revealed to us.  On the list?  None other than the Wicked Witch of Eastern PA, Kate Gosselin! Awww – dreams really do come true. Her dreams. Not mine. In case that wasn't clear. 

According to Gossip Cop, the confirmed cast also includes Sharknado star Ian Ziering, tennis player Martina Navratilova, and figure skater Johnny Weir

David Hasselhoff reportedly has the contract in his possession, but he hasn't put down his cheeseburger long enough to sign it. Rumor has it that NBC really wants The Hoff because he's so unpredictable. 

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Khloe Kardashian arriving at Loews Hollywood Hotel

The guest list for Kim Kardashian and the tiny rapper's intimate wedding may have just gotten smaller by two people. While the producers of Keeping up with the Kardashians want to film yet another of Kim's weddings for the show (they need a story line, y'all!), putting the hoopla affair on E! may cost Kanye West his desired best man. 

As Kim preps for her big day (shouldn't be too hard to plan for given that it's her third), sister Khloe Kardashian is strutting her stuff now that she's newly single. She sported the above outfit (is she going for hillbilly dominatrix?) while attending a Rick Ross concert. I guess she doesn't want to get lost in the shuffle, but I doubt that outfit will help Kim convince Beyonce that her wedding to Yeezy will be a classy affair!

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juan pablo bachelor

I think Bachelor Juan Pablo Galavis may be past the point of a simple "Bless his heart." He just needs to step quietly away from the roses and fade back into obscurity. And while he's at it, he should probably stop blaming all of his insensitive remarks on a language barrier.

On Friday, Juan Pablo retweeted (and then quickly deleted due to backlash) a follower's joke that made light of disabilities. In the aftermath, he told his detractors to "relax" and "try to be happy and enjoy jokes and sarcasm." I'm confused. Hasn't ol' JP blamed all of his cluelessness about sarcasm on his language barrier? It seems that ABC is as tired of this season's Bachelor as I am!

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rhoa-recap-nene

It's been two weeks but the television gods are again blessing us with a brand new episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta. I mean, how dare the Oscars air on NeNe Leakes' night, amirite?!

​Since RHOA's absence there has been plenty of action however – NeNe signed on to do Dancing With The Stars and continued her feud with Marlo Hampton and Kenya Moore. Remember – that's where we left off with our favorite Atlanta ladies!

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