Reality Tea

rhobh-recap

Last night things were starting to settle in on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Everything that is except Carlton Gebbia who really cannot f–king deal with anyone and is over everything. Oh and Brandi Glanville's face – that's not settling either. She better watch it or she'll be turning into her arch-nemesis Adrienne Maloof!

Unfortunately the show began on a sour note. Poor Yolanda Foster is bravely taking us through her health journey battling Lyme Disease, which sounds horrible. I am seriously never going into the woods again. No, No, No!

Lemanda is undergoing surgery to remove a tube that sends antibiotics straight to her bloodstream and to celebrate she's doing a master cleanse instead of having a drink. I will never understand – pass me the alcohol! Gawd, do I sound like Brandi. #EpicFail. Even Yolanda's housekeeper is master cleansing and dividing all the lemonstrocity juice into a million Fuji bottles. Lemon does know how bad that is for the environment, right? 

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hip hop fight

Well, what do you know? Promises were kept on last night's Love & Hip Hop…although said promises caused some major blow-ups. Peter Gunz assured Amina Buddafly that he'd tell Tara Wallace about their relationship, and he does. Nya wants to keep her word to help out Erica Mena. Of course, that will certainly end well–everything with Erica always does!

After thwarting Amina's plans to tell Tara about her wedding to Peter, ol' Petey boy calls up Rich Dollaz for advice. They are having a meeting of the creeps, but just because Peter is a creep doesn't mean he's a bad person. He's just indecisive as to who he wants to have sex with on a regular basis. Speaking of creeps, Joe Budden is meeting with Nya at the strip club. They've developed a true friendship as only a stripper and hookah smoking patron can be. Professor Budden tries to dissuade Nya from collaborating with Erica Mena, but I am totally distracted by the dancer in the background whose arse is literally about to eat some gentleman's face. Thanks for the nightmares, VH1. Thanks a lot.

Peter stays true to his word for once and keeps his "tomorrow" promise to tell Tara about Amina. He invites her to come by the studio and halfway tells her that he's been diddling his artist for a little while. When she gets upset about the fact that he's cheating (yet again), he says she may need to shoulder some of the responsibility since the pair hasn't been getting along. Is he serious? She's slapping him every which way to Sunday before throwing his guitar and storming out of the studio. Tara feels so stupid for thinking that Peter had changed his cheating ways…as she should!

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bruce-kris

For goodness sake, Bruce Jenner, cut the cord already! Even though he and Kris Jenner have already confirmed their separation, he continues to allow her to use him to make herself look better in the public's eyes. It isn't going to work, Kris! 

No matter how much she promises the pair will be best friends (while publicly stating her regret at divorcing Robert Kardashian), Kris always has a selfish ulterior motive. I'm still going to think Kris a self-absorbed pimp momager and emasculating wife regardless how many awards she bestows upon Bruce.

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Tonight's reunion episode of Real Housewives of Miami spilled over onto Watch What Happens Live and things get a little messy, courtesy of Brandi Glanville and her unfiltered sass. 

During the Miami reunion episode, Adriana de Moura brought up the reports that Joanna Krupa played a part in ending the marriage between Yolanda Foster and Mohamed Hadid.  Joanna flat out denied having any involvement.  Andy played a clip during WWHL, and Brandi immediately called Joanna a liar.  

Brandi said what she knows is "Joanna had sex with Mohamed".  Is that what busted up the marriage? "It was one of many affairs.  But Yolanda and Mohamed are great now. It's just when I was with Yolanda at a party and Joanna started to walk up to us, we had to go."

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Brandi Glanville Lisa Vanderpump

This season on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills the tables are turning for Lisa Vanderpump. Meaning no one likes her. Rumor had it the isolation and ostracization became so intense Lisa was threatening to quit the show! No amount of money could get me to hang out with Splits! 

Lisa heartily denies the rumor, insisting. “If I quit, you will hear the words right out of my mouth or I have been fired.”

Furthermore she doesn't even know what she would quit, even if she wanted to! "There are all these rumors but there is nothing to quit. We are not in production — they don’t even start production until next year,” Lisa explained to E! Online. 

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Joanna Krupa shows off her bikini body poolside in Miami

Here's a Monday afternoon gift for you – Joanna Krupa bikini photos.  Actually, Joanna Krupa in a bikini..doing handstands!  Double bonus. You know your week is now complete.

The Real Housewives of Miami star let it all hang out this weekend as she hung out near the pool with her friend and husband Romain ZagoJoanna frolicked around the yard in pink bikini, chasing her dog and then doing handstands against the glass door.  She did take a quick dip in the pool, but looking at the full set of photos earlier, I don't think she actually got wet…  She spent the rest of the afternoon hanging out and looking gorgeous on her lounge chair. 

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Life & Style Presents Hollywood In Bright Pink, Hosted By Giuliana Rancic

I'm not going to lie. Sometimes (no, all the time) the amount of over-sharing people do on the Internet makes me slightly uncomfortable. I have certainly been guilty of it, but I try to keep updates about my appointments at the lady doctor, weird rashes, and sexy times (bwhahaha! Like I have them) out of my Twitter and Facebook feeds. 

Former Real Housewives of Orange County star Lydia McLaughlin does not seem to follow this philosophy, and that's okay. It just kind of creeps me out a bit. She and husband Doug want to expand their family of four, and I know about it thanks to Twitter.

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Filming for 'Keeping Up with the Kardashians'

We all know that when the Kardashians claim to be doing something for no reason, there's always a reason: famewhoring! Kim Kardashian took to twitter yesterday to announce she was just, you know, throwing a party for no reason, no reason at all! 

"Slide ✔️ dance floor ✔️mechanical bull ✔️…our party for no reason is almost ready," Kim announced. With the season 8 Keeping Up With The Kardashians finale airing last night and season 9 filming on-going there is of course a reason for the Kardshians to celebrate! Perhaps they're celebrating season 9 allegedly being their final season? One could hope…

A photo of Kim's "party for no reason" is below. Or of course you could view the celebration in action on Keek! #KeekingUpWithTheKardashians

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