Reality Tea

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This week's Shahs of Sunset was insane. Bravo gets the ick – MJ's sex tapes – out of the way first thing. We pay for this later. Mercedes "MJ" Javid seeks professional help to recover the missing files from her computer. She worries the young, hot computer guy will copy her sex tapes. He finds the files – not a cold chance in hell he enjoys it, let alone copies them. 
 
Next, Mike Shouhed meets with old Vegas friends, Big Baller #1 and Big Baller #2. Their office building is nice and shiny but rather empty inside – much like their secretaries. The Ballers, who finance real estate deals, offer Mike a job as their broker.  He promises to think about it, adding, "I want to show everybody a big middle finger, to the entire world and say, 'HAHAHA, I'm the richest.'"

Asa Soltan Rahmati meets with a party planner friend to go over details for the Diamond Water launch party.  Not much to see here.  She complains about the lack of gaudy gold accessories – yet the whiners on House Hunters never stop complaining about gold this, gold that – and requests a Diamond Water bottle ice sculpture. Asa also reveals she's planning a family reunion in Turkey.

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Forget about duck calls and beards and controversy, it seems the ladies of Duck Dynasty have found away to separate themselves from their burly counterparts. Y'all recall when Willie's beautiful daughter Sadie became the face of Sherri Hills' prom dress line. Then, her mom Korie Robertson opened Duck and Dressing boutique in the family's hometown. Next, Jep Robertson and wife Jessica partnered with a designer Corello to create a line to benefit St. Jude.

Now, Jase's wife Missy is stepping into the limelight. She's just announced that she's partnering with Stephanie Carter's Southern Fashion House (the creator of the fun Judith March line) to create a wardrobe that's both fun for women…and age appropriate. I know a few housewives who should take that hint!

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Photo by Instagram

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Sex toy aficionado and general sexpert Kandi Burruss knows a thing or two about what a man is packing!

On this week's episode of Real Housewives of Atlanta Kandi's former boyfriend Chuck Smith attempted to paint her and Phaedra Parks as members of his "Big Homie Team". According to him they were so desperate they allowed him to use them. I personally found Chuck's behavior disgraceful and I'm embarrassed for his wife Mynique Smith. It turns out Kandi is pretty disgusted as well! 

Kandi called out Chuck's revisionist history (or straight up lies) and explains that being on Chuck's team, was um… no big thing. 

First Kandi wrote on Facebook, "What’s so interesting to me is that…. speaking of last night's episode, is for Chuck to try to play me like we were never were in a relationship… and to know how close he and my mama was… Still for years after we broke-up, he was still calling my mama seeing what’s going on." 

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David Foster Honored With Star On The Hollywood Walk Of Fame

Aaaahhh… Brandi Glanville. I've almost run out of things to say about the mess that has become Brandi. It's sad at this point. She was always rough around the edges, but it's become abundantly clear that she's pretty much rough all over! 

Brandi is still making excuses for her behavior this season of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. I wonder if she can't keep her mouth shut because she needs to open it constantly to insert wine – or her feet. In her latest Bravo blog she continues to place blame and point fingers at Joyce Giraud. These two need to stop talking about each other already. Let's hear what she has to say! 

First up Lisa Vanderpump is to blame. Even though Lisa is ruining her reputation trying to be a good friend to Brandi this season, that's still not enough apparently! 

"Lisa having a dinner to bring Joyce and I together is ironic because the whole reason we don't get along is because of Lisa and the Hairgate situation." How is that Lisa's fault – JOYCE chose to confront Lisa after Brandi instigated…  "Lisa asked me to act as if Joyce didn't exist and now she is throwing a dinner for us? It's all so perplexing." 

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After being mercilessly teased about her Carrot Top do, Katie Maloney has returned to her roots and gone brunette again. 

I'm not sure what on earth made the Vanderpump Rules star decide to orange it up, but it was sincerely one of the most unflattering and ridiculous dye jobs I've ever seen! Katie is a pretty girl and why she thought that was a good idea is beyond me. My theory she was trying to emulate BFF Stassi Schroeder or try to earn some distinction between herself and other totally insane brunette Kristen Doute!

Whatever the case, Katie shared photos of her new hair on instagram and she looks much better! In other news she is still together with Tom 2 after he tried to put her out like a fire. We need an intervention – for him. 

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The Real Housewives of New York City - Season 6

Real Housewives of New York is coming soon! And there are lots of changes this season and plenty of drama.

LuAnn de Lesseps has already confirmed she won't be back as a full-time Housewife. Replacing her is Kristen Taekman, a model and mom of two.

Which means that Pinot Singer and her turtle-timing crazy is the last original Housewife. This season features plenty of traveling as the ladies celebrate summer in the Hamptons and go on a glamping trip in Montana! 

Per the press release: "This season follows the ladies as they mix business with pleasure, party like rock stars, summer in the Hamptons and allow their emotions to get the best of them any chance they get. Old rivalries will be reignited and new ones born, all while emotional twists and turns, surprise romantic encounters, and passionate arguments keep everyone guessing where people’s true loyalties lie." 

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Is it me, or is Abby Lee Miller getting more and more orange with each episode of Dance Moms

As always, we start with the pyramid and a hefty dose of insults about the group's third place finish. Abby will not be embarrassed in front of the Cathy and her purse slapping Candy Apples. Peyton is the on the bottom for her tearful hair tantrum. She should be a role model and not a baby. Brooke follows for missing four counts of the group dance, and Nia is third for the bottom for slipping out of her aerial and not placing in her solo division. McKenzie rounds out the bottom row for being too rambunctious in the dressing room. Paige is last on the second row for being good, not great. Ditto for Kendall. Chloe beams when she's second on the pyramid, and it's no surprise that Maddie is in the top spot with ridiculous praise. Kendall and Chloe get solos to prove which one is truly second to Maddie. Maddie gets to rest this week…Abby is tired of her star student carrying the entire troupe. The group number is called "Just Another Number" to remind the girls exactly what they are in the studio. The girls will be dancing as Maddie's clones. Abby hopes to find more Maddie clones at her upcoming open call.

The mothers are in the viewing area, and for once they are in agreement. The theme of the group number sends the wrong message to their daughters, and third place isn't going to cut it against Cathy's dancers. Holly hopes that placing so low the week before will humble the girls into working even harder. In Ohio, Cathy is excited to have choreographer Blake McGrath compete with Abby's lyrical numbers. Black Patsy's daughter is looked over for a solo which goes to Miami's Lucas. Kaya accuses Bridgette of getting her son the dance by partying with Blake 24/7.

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