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Before Emily Maynard starts her dates this week on ABC’s The Bachelorette, she meets up with friends and family at the park.  It’s very important, apparently, for Emily and ABC to remind us that she’s just an average single mom living in Charlotte.  At the park, the carpool efforts responsible for getting little Ricki to soccer practice are discussed.  The chat is nothing short of fascinating.  Eh, I’m lying.  The entire segment just reminds me how incredibly dull Emily is.

Next, Chris Harrison explains the dating process to the 19 remaining men.  This week, there will be one group date and two one-on-one dates.  There is a rose up for grabs on each date.  Chris leaves the men with the first date card.  Bobble head Chris wants to see his name on that card.  There’s suspenseful music.  The date goes to Runs with Dog Ryan.  The card reads, “Be my King in Queen City.”   Kalon is annoyed.  Chris is disappointed.

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If you watched last season’s Real Housewives of Beverly Hills, you know that Lisa Vanderpump owns quite the restaurant scene.  On the episode where the dastardly Cedric Martinez showed up to confront his former friends/personal ATMs at the opening of SUR, Brandi Glanville had an awkward near run-in with a young lady Eddie Cibrian “dated” before cheating on his wife with Leann Rimes.  Villa Blaca and SUR waitress (slash actress slash model slash pop star) Scheana Marie was mortified to see Brandi at the event because she had gone out with a wedding ring-less Eddie who claimed to be single.  Because that scene on the show was a mere minute in a half long, by my calculations, Scheana Marie thinks she’s got at least thirteen minutes left.

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The Dancing with the Stars powers-that-be did what we hope for all season and kept the first part of the finals competition to just one hour.

William Levy & Cheryl Burke are up first with an energetic ChaCha to “Raise Your Glass”. The colors on Cheryl’s dress were fun, but something about the cut/style just didn’t suit her for some reason and I was distracted by it. In my unprofessional opinion, there didn’t seem to be much content for what should be the “knock their socks off final dance”. Len disagrees with me, saying it was the best he’s seen in 14 years. What do I know?

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Since winning Celebrity Apprentice on Sunday night it seems big things are happening for Arsenio Hall!

TMZ is reporting that three different networks are “very interested” in a signing him for a talk show deal. Allegedly hoping to nab the former late night host are NBC, along with two other major broadcast networks.

HollywoodLife has learned that both Fox and TBS are competing to have Arsenio host a late night show. The source reports that Fox is considering a weekly show which would air on Saturday nights. However TBS is considering pairing Arsenio’s new gig with Conan O’Brien’s show on weeknights.

There has even been talks of trying a daytime/night time show; one that will air in the morning and then replay at night.

Apparently no matter which network he goes with, Arsenio’s new show won’t be airing until the fall.

WOULD YOU WATCH A NEW ARSENIO HALL TALK SHOW?

Aviva Drescher is coming out swinging on the upcoming season of Real Housewives of New York. The cast newbie is not mincing words or trying to play nice She succinctly calls Pinot Singer “white trash” in one clip of the series. Aviva is much more than a housewife – the former lawyer is now a philanthropist and mother of four. And she also has a prosthetic leg.

Speaking to the NY Post, Aviva describes meeting her current husband Reed and combining their families Brady Bunch style. They met in a Bed, Bath, and Beyond after painful divorces. “The kids started playing with each other, and he said, ‘It’s tough being a single dad,’ ” Aviva recalls. “Let’s say we took the ‘beyond’ to another level.” Aviva and Reed now have added two more children to their brood.

Aviva reveals that she lost her leg in a farming accident when she was a child, which has taught her to be tough and straight forward. Aviva also shares that she has two different artificial legs – one for heels and one for flats! Ok, that’s kind of awesome.

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Poor Kim Kardashian…girl just can’t catch a break!  Not only is she playing the role of dutiful girlfriend while on tour with Kanye West, ahem, I mean coincidentally in London with him while she promotes her fragrance line, but she also must put up with groupies as well.  Sources report that Kim has put the kabosh on him greeting fans after his concert, but she’s still envious of his relationships with different females on the tour.

The source reveals, “Kanye has a load of girls he’s friends with. Most are stylists or from the fashion set but Kim’s not happy about them being alone with him backstage.  She sees how well he gets on with girls because of his sensitive side and has decided to rein in the entourage a bit. Kim is trying to put a stop to this as she doesn’t want to look or feel awkward at any point.”  I’m sorry, his sensitive side?  I may or may not have just spewed coffee after reading that!

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Andy Cohen on WhoSay

When Andy Cohen invited the Bravo Housewives to the release party of his book “Most Talkative”, he had to know that they’d help class up the joint, right?

Real Housewives of Beverly Hills star Brandi Glanville took a liking to Andy’s father and decided the best way to show this was to…lick his face? Poor Andy’s dad. Not only did he have to endure this trashtastic behavior, but it’s now captured for the world to see and will haunt him for years to come.

Andy wrote:

Um- Yes, @BrandiGlanville licked my father’s face last night. What have I gotten my Dad into!? #MostTalkative

When a Twitter follower suggested that Brandi was being disgusting, she responded with: “no he wasn’t he tasted great! it was all in good fun.”

Share your thoughts – was Brandi being gross? Or just goofy?

[polldaddy poll=6247996]

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Oh lawdy, last night was a night of meltdowns wasn’t it? Real Housewives of New Jersey was an emotional hot mess of whining, tantrums, crying, cursing, bickering, double talk and fat talk. Sometimes we all freak out – even if we are a forty-something father of four or a ten-year-old girl or an overweight twenty-four year old woman. You know what – we’re all just people at the end of the day.

But before we get to tantrums, let’s talk butt cheeks. There were a lot of those weren’t there? There were also bras and tampons. And I learned something important today that I never particularly wanted to know… Teresa Giudice didn’t wear a tampon until she was 27. Did she never go to the beach on her period until she was married?

So things begin in the car with Teresa and Joe Giudice. She tells him about the pool party and he starts screaming and cursing about how much he hates her family and will throw them out of his house and kill people. It was horrible. Juicy needs an intravenous drip of prozac and an anger management coach. Teresa was mortified – as well she should be – dump this loser please. He’s bad for her image and her self-esteem.
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