It’s too little, too late, but legendary financial guru Suze Orman is administering some advice to legendary financial frauder Teresa Giudice! Like, remember that penny you found in the bathroom at the Real Housewives Of New Jersey reunion? Save it! Like, duh!
I kid. Most specifically Suze is advising all women – based on what happened to Teresa – not to blindly allow their husbands to control the money. Know what is going on in your family’s finances. As you recall, Teresa and Joe Giudice have both claimed he was the ‘mastermind’ (AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!) behind their 41 count financial fraud indictment and Teresa was just an innocent player in signing her name to whatever document he put in front of her!
“It’s a prime example for women, that if they don’t think the behaviors of somebody that they are involved with financially-speaking is going to affect them, I’m here to tell them they’d better watch what’s happening,” Suze states, explaining the situation Teresa found herself in, leading to a prison sentence and her businesses to collapse as a result of the negative publicity.
Apollo Nida‘s legal issues were the main focus of the Real Housewives of Atlanta season premiere, but we did get to see little bits of what the other cast members have been up to since the reunion. Cynthia Bailey, who’s on the hunt for a new best friend, followed the scent of loneliness and ended up on Kenya Moore‘s doorstep.
I imagined Cynthia saying to herself, ‘I shall call her Krazy, and she shall be mine, and she shall be my Krazy.’ HaHa. Don’t get me wrong, though, Kenya‘s crazy is the only reason I watch RHOA. Kenya took to her blog to share her thoughts on the season premiere. Including titles: RIP Baby Velvet, Detroit vs. Everybody Else, Ignorance is not a Handicap, Promise to Detroit Children, and Love Me or Hate Me. So dramatic. So Kenya. Here we go.
NeNe Leakes seems to have forgotten where she came from! Since landing a gig in Broadway’s Cinderella sources reveal that her ego is out of control – and she thinks she’s a big-name star! As she prepares to perform in the play NeNe is bragging about a potentially star-studded guest list coming just to see her!
“Kim Kardashian is coming to see me, and she’s bringing North. Teresa [Giudice]’s bringing her daughters,” NeNe boasts. “More celebrities will come. I’m sure.” Umm… celebrities or “celebrities.” But of course, Kim will come, because duh – paparazzi might be there to take photo of her acting like she cares about igNori. But I suppose, a children’s play is better than a fashion show!
I imagine Leah Calvert and Jeremy Calvert‘s decision to work on their marriage went a little like this: they touched hands while both reaching into the Cheeto bag at the same time. There were sparks – and Hot Cheetos were made. Then the Teen Mom 2 star dumped the bag out on the coffee table and instead of reading tea leaves to predict her future, she read Cheeto dust. It said Jerrrrr-meeee and Leah – FOR-EV-ER.
Then Leah realized she could highlight her hair using the neon orange Cheeto crumbles, and do a vow renewal at the Mingo County Community Center (real place y’all) or in Nitro, WV (real place, y’all!) and honeymoon at the Boones Farm Dispensary. Or you know, maybe she and Jeremy just started following each other on twitter again and changed their Facebook statuses from “Divorced” to “It’s Complicated” Both are equally insane ways to deal with a marital problems, amirate?!
“Words cannot express the turmoil this situation has caused our family, and I can’t even begin to articulate how hard it has been,” said Phaedra. “When you face a situation like this, you can choose to either break down or stay strong; I chose to stay strong because I have two young children that need a parent to give them stability and keep the ship sailing.”
Cynthia Bailey‘s marriage to Peter Thomas almost never happened, but happen it did – and it’s been causing Cynthia grief ever since. Apparently that is partially The Real Housewives Of Atlanta’s fault. Of course, it’s also NeNe Leakes‘ fault. Speaking of which, Cynthia says NeNe’s days as star of RHOA are numbered – well that’s it, it’s time for a reality TV divorce!
Regarding their marriage, Peter has threatened to cheat, wanted a love nest, gets in fights with her friends, can’t keep a business afloat, her family can’t stand him, and – and! – when Cynthia had fibroids the dude could not cope! Cynthia says this season her marriage has improved now that NeNe is out of her life, but she and Peter still continue to have a bevy of financial problems – he declared bankruptcy, Bar One is currently in the process of being relocated after the owner of the building was foreclosed on, and Peter can’t afford to put gas in his Mercedes.
Oh Vanderpump Rules never fails to disappoint does it!? And last night Peter Madrigal was allll riled up, which is HOTTT times a million. I digress. The important things were that in the battle of the girly-men, Tom Sandoval got his false eyelashes ripped off and his delicate constitution bruised, and James Kennedy got his size 23 skinny jeans protected by Kristen Doute, who was punching the beglitter out of Tom 1. Pent up rage, anyone?
Tom Schwartz, well he tried in vain (“vain” being the operative word) to break things up, but OMG – his hair! His pearly, flawless skin! His modeling career.